"This place SUCKS!" Howard shouted as they stood on the edge of a massive canyon. Ultra Space was a weird place, Howard understood that, but somewhere between massive electrical cords, weird looking trees, and the overcast sky really screwed with him. The weird thing? It almost looked like Castelia City, if you squinted, were fighting a vicious hangover, and also blind.

This was an alien world in which Howard was not prepared to explore. Not that he wasn't willing to do so, but because he was simply not a fighter. That was why he had been sent along with Shred Zeppelin and Grigori Sokolov . Both were muscle, and Grigori had a thought going on upstairs.

With Shred, Howard expected him to lick an electrical cord and die on the spot.

Yet even Howard's expert eye could deduce that there was a civillization here. He had to take notes, form a hypothesis, write a paper, and submit it to the eggheads in the upper brass of Team Rocket. Maybe then, he'd get a gold star on his resume. Howard's thoughts were jumbled, but that was only because he didn't want to freak himself out.

"You weren't lying about those extra-dimensional artifacts." Howard told Shred with a round of applause. "I cannot wait to bring back an electrical cord that someone chewed through an entire geological period ago."

---

Shred Zeppelin Grigori Sokolov

Compared to your experience in the Ultra Deep Sea, the few minutes you've spent in the Ultra Plant have proven themselves a completely different kind of terrible. The air here feels like how licking a battery tastes, and it looks like the aftermath of licking a battery, too. All of that is to say, the air is full of static, there’s a constant low buzzing in your ears, and you’re pretty sure there’s silhouettes dancing on the darkness of the horizon.

What Team Rocket could possibly want from such a miserable place, you have no idea, but clearly they’ve got some vested interest in going to Hell. After all, why else would they send you here, and why else would they have you wage a war in… Fuck, where did you fight that war? Dewford? Was it Dewford…?

Not the point. The point is, they clearly give a shit about this. Why else would they send the three of you here? Well, you know why they’d send Grigori. Grigori is competent. He does good work. Not much of a talker, but you’ve got to grade on a curve, and that curve is named Howard Slayte. Frankly, you’re fully expecting Howard to die here. He’s had a good run, but after years of avoiding mudslides and cave-ins, he’s pushed his luck too far. There’s no way someone this clueless is going to waltz into the nightmare realm and walk out in one piece. If there was ever a time for Arceus to kill this man for his indolence, it was here and now, and if Howard somehow survived, you’re taking it as proof that God is ignorant and uncaring and possibly non-existent, RKS be damned.

”Y’know, these cables are probably worth ten times more than those shitty urns you keep blowing your paychecks on.” You retort the archae-paleo-fucker’s sarcastic comments, approaching a nest of cables as you do so. ”Like, really, think about it: This shit’s probably carrying omegavolts of zeta energy that could power all of Hoenn for years, and it's just sitting here for anyone to take. Just gotta grab one and rip it off the--

Heavens knows why you actually stuck your hand into that nest of cables, and heavens knows why you actually tried to rip something out. Perhaps you were just trying to mime, and didn’t expect such an innocuous-looking mesh of wires to actually be live. Perhaps you were just absentmindedly acting out the same words coming out of your mouth. Perhaps you really are just that much of a dumbfuck. Either way, the result is the same, and if you thought licking a battery was bad, then oh boy, oh boy, get ready for this…

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

”--GYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

---

PROMPT 01 - Get Electrocuted [COMPLETE]
howard slayte Grigori Sokolov

"Certainly not my first thought when I was asked to accompany the both of you, Mr. Howard," Grigori said.

Ultra Space, so far, seemed rather unfun and unsafe. What, with all the wires everywhere, the things that crept across the distant horizon, and the general uncertainty of it all. They were not in Hoenn anymore, that was certain. Grigori could personally do less of the TV static that permeated the air, for lack of a better term. Felt bad for them.

And if this was the pair he had to protect from the bad things, then he did not like the odds. Howard was an obvious one: as far as he knew, the archeologist had never been in any serious danger unrelated to his line of work. More suited for desolate wastelands and empty caverns than places filled to the brim with current and active dangers. Not inherently a terrible person like the two he had to rely on, though. Someone he'd take a pokemon attack for. 

Shred? Well, he would be fine physically. Looked fit enough, proven to be somewhat intelligent when it came to threat recognition (their scuffle at the pizza place proved so). Yet everytime he had asked about the man afterword, the responses were less than polite. Surely the man wasn't as bad or 'stupid' as people claimed, right? 

At least, he thought that right up until he noticed Shred approach a pool of black cables. 

Grigori stepped forward, hand extended, "Mr. Shred, wait--"

Too late. The man got lit up like a battery, and probably had the voltage of one coursing through his body as well. Grigori sighed. "Mr. Howard, as much as I'd love your input on where we should traverse next, I instead ask if you have anything non-metallic with some reach for our companion here? I think it'd suit our interests to keep him alive without being electrocuted alongside him."

It felt hard to muster up any more care for the man than that. Just... how? A dark part of him was tempted to even call the fellow grunt a 'total waste of oxygen', but he pushed that down. He was better than that. Meanwhile, he started to undo his own necktie. In case Howard had nothing, it would have to do.

---

Shred Zeppelin howard slayte

"Omega volts of zeta energy, capable of powering Shred Zeppelins for eons eternal." Howard said drily, before nudging Shred's twitching body with his boot. "He'll live, Grigori."

Ultra Plant definitely had enough power to run Hoenn for several decades, if it could be properly channeled. As it was, the alternate world was inhospitable to Howards, Grigoris, and Shreds alike. Mostly Shreds, given how he was still convulsing on the floor. Howard nudged him again to confirm that his heart hadn't stopped. The Shred still lived, for better or worse. Ultra Space was leagues more dangerous than any ruin, and Howard had seen some dangerous ones.

The difference between a ruin brimming with traps and Ultra Plant was that this one was filled with things that would actively seek out their destruction. A lightning strike could make both enforcer and archaeologist follow in their colleague's steps. A ruin, meanwhile, was reactive. It only killed you if you took a bad step.

"Do not concern yourself, Grigori. Can I call you Greg?" Howard asked as he took off his small bag. Within it were a few notebooks, a few basic tools, and a couple Yeggo waffles. "I read the report. No metals, unless you count my Excadrill. I know for a fact that Shred has enough metals to set off every metal detector in Hoenn. Maybe you should check him... Ah, here they are!"

Howard tossed a zipline glider to Grigori and tossed another onto Shred's corpse. Metal wrapped in several layers of plastic. Not too shabby. "There's some buildings over there on the other side. Let's zipline across. I'll make sure everything is safe. Don't let Shred stick his finger into another outlet."

With a salute, Howard clipped his zipline glider onto a line of cord, and zipped across.

---

Prompt 04: Zipline on a cord!
Shred Zeppelin Grigori Sokolov

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzztttttttttt...

Lucky for you, it seemed you overestimated just how much electricity was coursing through these wires. Closer to omicron volts of epsilon energy, capable of powering Hoenn for a few days, maybe. After a solid few seconds of shocking wall torture, the current runs dry and you collapse backwards onto the ground, smoldering like an overcooked hotdog. It takes a few seconds more for you to regain some measure of consciousness, letting out a crispy groan as you clamber back up to your feet. That... was rough. That definitely killed a few brain cells, and you don't have too many of those to spare.

Would've been REAL NICE if someone had helped you out there, wouldn't it?

"Thanks for the save." You dryly remark, not even bothering to make eye contact with either Howard nor Grigori as you stagger over to the makeshift zipline. "Real swell of you. Ten-out-of-ten teamwork. Fuck me, I miss the Shredettes... At least they were hot..."

Attaching your hook to the cable, you shuffle forward and allow gravity to carry you down to the other side of the zipline.

---

howard slayte Grigori Sokolov

Well, Shred certainly had the fortitude that was befitting a man of his status. How he was able to not only survive that, but still find the strength to zip line across that gap was certainly a surprise. A nice, welcome one, given the sheer negligence it took to get electrocuted quite that bad.

Speaking of, now it was Grigoris turn to get across the gap. He mimicked the motions the previous two did and soon found himself suspended in the air by a single thick rope and the hook attached to it. What a neat, nifty mode of transportation in an environment like this. The grunt imagined himself as a single amp in its own black cable, as it travelled through the tube. Would he end up in Shred's neurons and muscle system?

Hopefully not.

The landing wasn't too bad, and he wasted no time in undoing his hook and dusting himself off. "Mr. Howard, please call me Grigori. I know it's a mouth full, but I prefer it. And as for you, Mr. Shred, I was just about to try and save you when you got free of the cables of your own accord. Not only that, but everyone knows that a person in the middle of electrocution is capable of being a prime candidate for transferal of the charge to another human."

In layman's terms: Grigori was not dumb enough to let what happened to Shred happen to him as well. 

"Now let's remember what just happened and keep it in mind as we carry on. Who knows what other kinds of dangers lay in store," he said. And so far, nothing seemed terribly out of the ordinary. Bunches of wires, rocks, and buildings. Despite the eerie, hollow feeling that crawled up his spine, he didn't feel that tingling sensation of danger. The one that came to moments before the first shoe dropped.


"Mr. Howard, what do you suggest as the one of us who is adept in these sorts of situations? Investigate a building from the inside, or simply admire from a safe distance?"

---

howard slayte Shred Zeppelin

"If our bosses needed to look at buildings from a safe distance, they would've just taken some photos or hunched behind bushes with binoculars and peered at them from afar." Howard said pointedly, before sighing in a defeated way. "So yeah, we'll have to go in."

With that in mind, they were still lucky. They might be one of the teams designated in doing a deeper survey of the area, if 'deeper' meant 'scratching the surface with a shovel the size of a millimeter, but the very first people sent in? Hoo, that had been rough. Many of their suits had been made of metal. By the time the error was realized, a lightning bolt capable of powering Slateport for a week zapped their suits.

The smell of cooked meat was a disgusting scent, indeed.

"Our goal is pretty simple. We go in, we scout, we survey, we leave. I'd like to take some samples of the buildings to analyze their date of construction. If we can get a sample of anything concrete, all the better. You all protect, I study." Howard snapped his fingers, which sounded like a pop of electricity. "Gregggggggggggori can help proofread the report. You're a lot more eloquent than you look. Shred can check for any stray electrical sockets that might attack us."

Man, that joke was never going to die.

"Let's go inside." Howard pointed at a blackened husk of a large rectangular building. "Storm's getting worse, and this place is giving me terrible vibes."

In a sense, he wasn't wrong. With all the weird corded trees floating about, and with the increasing electrical intensity, getting inside was sounding better and better.

Yet, there was something else. Howard really wanted to explore. What secrets awaited them? How had this civilization thrived, and how had it gotten covered in cords and electrical storms? Howard had to know. His two packmen would be of great aid in this venture.

---

Grigori Sokolov Shred Zeppelin

"You have feet, Gregory, and I KNOW those scuffed boots have rubber soles." You retort, having plenty of time to complain as you struggle to unhook yourself from your makeshift zipline. "Just kick me time! I'd do the same for you, you know."

Granted, after what you've been through, you might be more inclined to kick him in the head, but that's neither here nor there.

"And don't think you're off the hook either, Slayte!" You shout to your second accomplice. Ironic, since you're still also not off the hook. Eventually, you grow sick of limply struggling and just abandon the hook, leaving it behind as you walk after Howard. "You have Claydol AND Excadrill in your pockets, and you can't lend a hand?"

Grumbling under your breath, you walk up to the burnt husk of a build, attempting to push open the door, and finding little success. So, instead, you look for a handle, only the find nothing of the sort. What the hell is going on with the door? You consider trying to kick the door down, but decide against it. If you end up breaking your leg, these two'll just leave you behind and go off to figure out the secrets of the extradimensional electricians. God, whatever happened to "teamwork makes the dream work"? Did it get replaced with "fuck you Shred Zeppelin" when you weren't paying attention? Lord have mercy...

"Alright then, bud: You're the smart guy. Open the door."

---

howard slayte Grigori Sokolov

"I'm flattered, Mr. Shred, but I do not think my insights would go much further than word choice and grammar. The actual information inside it might be above my skill set," Grigori commented. It'd be nice for Howard to teach him the intricacies of whatever would be on said report, but at that point he wouldn't be proofreading. He'd be studying.

And at least he'd be interested in spending more time with the man. Shred on the other hand... "Mr. Shred, please do not kick me ever. Just because we are expected to use hammers for all the 'nails' out there does not mean we are limited to said hammers."

Would Shred get the metaphor and reference? Hopefully. 

It also wasn't important. Howard said they needed to get inside one of the buildings. Grigori pressed his lips tight. Not the answer he wanted, but probably the one he should've expected. The grunt slowly approached the door. Shred had been unsuccessful, and Howard would need his own pokemon to break it open.

He pulled a poke ball from his side belt and let the Druddigon inside loose. "Brick, please open the door for us. And don't bring the building down in the process."

As the pokemon materialized, it would nod to its trainer and shoulder Shred out of the way. It felt the rough exterior of the door, tilted its head to get a different perspective, then knocked on it. Not impossible to make something happen. 

It pulled back a thick tree trunk of an arm and slammed it into the door. The material shattered into a small storm of splinters and debris. One Superpower and they were in safely. Grigori retreated the pokemon and quickly stepped inside. It looked... somehow worse than the outside.

Or what little he could see. Whatever ambient light trickled into the exterior was the best he got. That and the sparks that popped from the spools upon spools of cables. Was this a power plant or something? "No immediate signs of danger. As long as we don't follow in Mr. Shred's footsteps, we should be alright."

---

Shred Zeppelin howard slayte

 

"Fine. Fine! Shred, you were right, we were wrong. I wasn't thinking properly, and should've used my head. Boom. It's done. Fuckin' ay."

If he didn't mention it now, Shred wouldn't let it go. The older man was always irritable, and bitter. Shred Zeppelin was a man who wanted to break something and bemoan every single slight he had ever suffered, until the debt was repaid. Better to patch his pride now, rather than let it fester. Especially since Shred could kick his ass in a dozen different ways.

As the door was flung off the hinges, Howard made sure to pointedly hide behind Grigori. Howards broke easily, Grigoris did not, and the lives of enforcers paid quite the cheap price indeed.

Yet the darkness of the building was oppressing. Howard should've brought his Carbink, and used its Light Screen to create a temporary lightning while they explored. Well, he'd know for next time. Make a mistake, then move on. As Howard followed the wall, before pumping into something that quickly collapsed into sand. What? Howard flicked on his flashlight, only to see a pile of ash at his feet.

"...interesting." Howard shined his light around the room and almost dropped it.

Grigori was right to consider this a power plant. In the center of the room was a massive bulb engulfed in cords, that seemed to pulse energy out every few seconds, hence the sparks. Surrounding the massive bulb were the upright corpses of people, though they were blackened.

Frowning, Howard kneeled down and dug through the ash pile by his foot, only to discover a blackened bone. "People. Why were they running from... that?" Howard released Crumble and Digsly from his belt. "Go poke it."

They looked at him. Howard rolled his eyes. "Fine. Go help Shred poke it. Here's your bloody Ground-types, Shred." Howard continued to inspect several of the piles.

"And someone get the lights!"

---

Grigori Sokolov Shred Zeppelin

Your eyes narrow at Howard, then narrow more as you glance back to Grigori, and then narrow even further as you look back to Howard. They're ruining this for you. How are they ruining Turbo Super Ultra Hell for you? Not even two minutes ago, you were being fully and wholly electrocuted, but you're more annoyed with the lackadaisacal attitudes of your allies to your suffering. Is it possible that your overall lack of care and empathy has led to you cultivating friends with little regard for your wellbeing...?

No. It's your teammates who are wrong.

With a shrug, you step inside the husk of a room, and proceed to stumble forth towards the giant bulb in the middle. A giant bulb, surrounded by wires, and burnt corpses. Hm, yeah, okay, sure, this isn't suspicious at all. You might have been born at night, but as it happens, it wasn't last night. You might make a lot of mistakes, but you never make the same one twice.

"I'll poke this bulb, alright..." You mutter under your breath, grabbing a Pokeball from your belt and tossing it straight upwards. "Skeledirge, hit it with a Shadow Ball!"

"ALRIGHT!" The crocodile emerges from a flash of red light, rearing onto its hind legs as it stares down its target. Ghastly energes pours out from his maw, swirling between his fangs, flowing in and out of his teeth and coalescing at the very end of his snout. "Time to blow that sucker SKY HIGH!"

"Chirp chirp!"

With a loud snap, the Shadow Ball was launched forth, soaring towards the bulb at high speed. Finally, you've turned the tables. Now it's time for the cables to feel what it's like to suffer an aggravated assau--

THWACK! As casually as though it was swatting a fly, a single cable came loose and slapped the Shadow Ball down, sending it flying down and obliterating a stray corpse. Then, as though offended by the idea that it might be attacked when it was simply doing its job, the bulb stood up and walked away, striding out the open door on wirey legs.

"...Hm. Well, that was pretty fucked up."

---

howard slayte Grigori Sokolov

Grigori still wasn't sure how to exactly respond. Moments before the Shadow Ball had been swatted from the air, that terrible gut feeling had come up. A sign that something was about to happen. Before he could even get his hand back on the poke ball to rerelease Brick, the thing had gotten up on its wire legs and simply...

Walked out?

No attempts at violence. Not even a spared glance for the group. The entire event concerned the man, but since the beast didn't even attempt to hurt any of them, it felt unnecessary to give chase. Not when more of those things could be in here. Actually violent.

Which meant the lights were pretty important to have. The grunt searched for the light switch, hopeful it would be where most light switches were: next to the front door. Sure enough, there were a couple. He gave each one their own test run.

Not even a flash. Damn it. Meant he needed to find where the switches got their power from. He followed the wall all the way around the perimeter, careful not to step on any more blackened piles of ash. Reminders that this place was entirely unsafe. Maybe that thing that left on a whim had been the cause?

Ah, there it was! Main power source. At least, Grigori hoped so. It was a massive switch on the side of the wall that had the label 'MAIN POWER' right beside it. Rusted hinges squealed as he pulled the difficult lever down.

Power flickered on. Bright bulbs above cast their vicious glow to the entire room. Yep, this was a power plant of some sort. Probably provided the electricity to the nearby buildings. Also, there were quite the number of ash piles all over. Just what had happened here?

Unfortunately, the light did not last. Perhaps overcharged, or that wired creature had been the power source. Either way, the slight hum of machinery whirred back down and the room turned black once more. "That was the main power for the building, so I apologize that I will not be able to get the power back on. Unless... you want me to go ask that thing to come back here and let us use it for electricity."

At least it didn't look like there was a second one of those in here while there WAS light available. "Regardless, I will keep watch by the front door. Mr. Shred, cover Mr. Howard on the inside."

PROMPT COMPLETE: Experience a temporary, but devastating mass blackout.

---

Shred Zeppelin howard slayte

While Shred and Grigori managed to make the power plant generator quit, Howard was busy inspecting even more of the corpses for a sign of something deeper going on. Otherwise, he would've likely throttled Shred for his impeccable decision-making.

Holding the flashlight with his teeth, Howard went further into his bag and began producing several instruments and tools: plastic gloves, sample bags, and a mass spectrometer. The lattermost item was a mystery, given Shred had definitely seen Howard lose a fight with a vending machine with a touch screen. It was a rough, blocky device, comparable to the computers used when they were all in diapers. Hell, the thing probably belonged in a museum instead of alternate worlds.

Using the bone from the initial dust pile, Howard attempted to chart the carbon dating on the bones. "Piece of shit." Howard grumbled as he peered at his device. With the light in his mouth, it came out as "Pwieeseosheet."

With all the electrical interference from the plant and outside, the numbers were all over the place. The answer he was getting made zero sense, unless this bone was around twenty-thousand years old.

The light plopped into Howard's lap as he spat it out. "Pfah. Nothing here makes sense. Alien worlds really suck." Despite his whining, Howard took samples of the dust, the various bones, a piece of the building... Suddenly, he stopped and frowned. He reached forward, and pulled a piece of black biker leather from the pile.

What sort of old civilization had biker leather? Only one that had been prosperous. Wordlessly, he put it in a bag and stood up.

"My current hypothesis is a rapid extinction, gentlemen. Please clap and laud me." Howard blinked at where the bulb had been, before sagging. "You broke it!"

---

UNIQUE PROMPT: Howard's Experience in Archaeology - COMPLETE.
Grigori Sokolov Shred Zeppelin