With his guide out of the way, Howard could inspect the Golurk. The first thing he noticed was the color. He had never seen a Shiny Pokémon before, but they were prominent in history. Shinies were often perceived as gifts from a divine power. Owning one, or being chosen by one was a very common method of royal succession.

They also sold for a LOT of money. Enough that Howard could get that Dewford condo he was always telling Navy about. That'd be pretty cool. He could chillax on the beach, drink piña coladas, and work on that paper he promised Navy. Life could be nice.

Realizing he was cackling to himself, Howard stopped and crawled onto the Golurk. It was clearly deactivated, which made life easier. If it actively woke up and decided that he and Tsubaki were enemies, it was unlikely that the two could stop it without the cave coming down on top of them. 'Two' as in 'Tsubaki and Suzuran'. Howard counted as zero, or maybe even negative one.

"Golurk have an energy core. If the seal is loose, their energy burns out and they rampage, before shutting down. Put the seal back on, and they start moving again after a moment." Howard scratched his chin. Blast, they'd have to reactivate the thing in order to move it. Otherwise, it'd likely sink into Ultra Deep Sea eventually. Losing this work of art to those jellyfish was an idea that Howard could not accept.

He hoped Tsubaki would agree.

"I'm gonna do something stupid." Howard warned her. "I'm gonna start it. If I die, tell that sheriff that I want a citywide funeral."

---

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki

Howard looked at Tsubaki with a pointed expression. Even he knew that Tsubaki's justification was a load of hoopla. It wasn't because he was a good judge of character, or anything like that. There was no archaeology that made you better at reading people, unless they were dead and fossilized.

No, he knew because there was no way in Arceus that a teenage girl gave a damn about League policy. Everything they did was a snorefest at best, and active terrorism at worst. Keeping this portal open would only rot Granite Cave more, but Howard suspected that closing it wouldn't win him any points in the Navy Rewards Program.

If that man wanted it closed, he would've closed it.

"Yeah, get me an excavator, several drills, and enough dynamite to punch another hole in Sootopolis and we can lift it out. We'll destroy this cave forever, and probably bury everything else under a thousand tons of rubble." Howard grunted as he looked at the seal. "Or, we let it fall into Ultra Space, get corrupted, and you and Navy can stop it from destroying the town. Feels like a damn shame to waste such a beauty."

Such a beautiful piece of history could not just fade away.

"Hitting it." Howard replaced the seal on its chest. A dim light turned on, but nothing else. After waiting a moment, Howard frowned.

Then, he kicked it.

The Golurk's eyes began to glow, and the entire wall began to collapse as the automaton moved with grinding joints that were eons older than Howard and Tsubaki combined. Rocks began to fall from the ceiling as it stood up. When it stood, it stood. This Shiny Golurk towered over both of them. Howard swallowed, nervous.

"We come in peace?" Howard shouted. The Golurk turned to him, as if awaiting instructions. Then, its eyes turned red. It raised a fist.

---

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki

"Yeah? Tell me about it!" Howard shouted as he dodged the Golurk's heavy fist with the help of Tsubaki and her Mawile. Getting to his feet, they turn around and face the automaton. "It's malfunctioning! Who knows how long this thing has been here!"

Howard let out a yelp as he pulled Tsubaki away from the Golurk's heavy foot. All it would take was a casual strike from the Shiny to crush Tsubaki and Howard like ants. With a Pokémon this big and heavy, it was simply best to get out of the way. With a yowl, Serizawa ran towards the Golurk, lunging towards the mechanized construct with a Crunch.

The type matchup was there, but the Golurk simply kicked Serizawa aside like it was a stray dog, before doing the same to Suzuran. It didn't matter how good of a swordsman (swordsmawile?) you were. It was hard to parry a mountain.

"I'm thinking!" Howard's voice began to rattle as the Golurk caused an Earthquake, making rocks fall from the ceiling. "Tsubakiiiiiiiiiiii! It's strong! How much further down is the Ultra Deep Sea?"

If it was extremely close, forget abandoning the Golurk to the Nihilegos, they'd all fall into Ultra Space together and get turned into the standing dead.

---

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki

Yeah, the cave could also collapse in on them. That might be important. Priorities.

"It's fine! We're fine! I'm a professional! Give me a second to think!" Howard reassured Tsubaki as the cave continued to collapse. Alright, he had to think. There were numerous problems. The cave was collapsing, the Golurk was rampaging, and they were all going to die. Howard would die twice, if Navy figured out that Howard had killed the guide.

Granite Cave wasn't going to last particularly long, but Howard was a budding geologist. With Tsubaki's Mawile holding the line and Howard's long list of vaguely useful skills, he was certain that there was a way out of this. His Claydol emerged in a flash of light from its ball, and his Larvitar appeared as well.

"Alright, Serizawa." Howard lifted the Larvitar with surprising difficulty and kissed the little monster's forehead. "You're gonna need to use Stone Edge here. Here. Here." Howard pointed at certain parts of the cave. "You ready? Go!"

The Larvitar ran off to commit crimes. Crumble looked at him. Howard scowled. "What? You want a kiss too? Use some psychic powers to keep the cave from folding more." Crumble floated off.

Alright, objective one: down. Man, he was good at this. As for the Golurk... Howard bit his lip. Why was it rampaging? Was it corrupted by the Ultra Deep Sea, or did it simply see them as an enemy? Golurk were automatons. They rarely used critical thought beyond fulfilling their objectives... As long as their orders were complete, it didn't matter.

Orders... Howard's eye widened. Oh!

As Tsubaki and her Mawile dance with the Golurk, suddenly a loud whistle echoed through the cave, drowning out the cave's collapsing and the fight to the death between Suzuran and the Golurk.

"Phwwwwwhht!"

Howard took his fingers from his mouth. "Shame!" He barked, walking up to stand next to Tsubaki. "How dare you strike against your liegelords! Stand down, on the authority of your masters!" The Golurk's eyes blinked between red and their typical white. Howard shouted something in an ancient language, and the Golurk blinked again. "Shame!"

Howard's eye flitted to Tsubaki, and he glanced back at the Golurk. Please work with me please work with me please work please work I don't wanna die. It was incredible how much communication was packed into one movement of the eye.

---

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki

"That's not true! I can talk myself out of any situation in multiple languages! How else do you think I made it through college?" Howard snapped at her as his Larvitar ran around the cave, supporting it with Stone Edges. The depths of Granite Cave were rotted from the Ultra Deep Sea, but Howard had a good grasp on geology. While he was here, the cave wouldn't collapse.

The Golurk's eyes continued to flicker between red and white, as if struggling to decide whether or not to beat Howard and Tsubaki into a pulp or accept them as its masters.

"■■■■■■■■■■!" Howard shouted in a language that made Tsubaki's skin crawl. The Golurk shuddered again, but before it could strike, Suzu came to the rescue and slammed the seal back into place. The Golurk's monstrous fist stopped inches from Tsubaki and Howard's face.

Howard gulped.

Then, the Golurk's eyes blinked white, and stayed that way. The Shiny Golurk then stood still, as if awaiting orders. Howard looked towards Tsubaki, nodding. His respect jumped up several notches in that precise moment. He turned back to the Golurk. "Stand at attention! Accept our authority!"

The Golurk stood proud, before bending into a bow, its head clunking against the ground.

"Eh? Told you." Howard nudged Tsubaki with an elbow. "You can solve some things by talking.

---

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki

"Hand to hand?" Howard chuckled as he waggled a finger. "I know the greatest master of hand to hand combat in this entire region! Your Mawile is getting close, though. I'll let him know he has a new rival."

Tempest Quinn versus a Mawile. Howard imagined Tsubaki and her Pokemon whaling on his colleague with spiked clubs. Maybe he wouldn't. He'd lose out on a fellow Brycen-Man fan, and that was something he couldn't accept.

Tsubaki had been an incredible asset, though. Did she get that talent from Navy, or from herself? Howard's eye fell downwards, looking past the floor and into another world. This region was excellent at taking the youth and bending them until they snapped like twigs.

"I'm glad you asked, Junior Archaeologist." Howard beamed at her, before walking over to the Shiny Golurk. "You're correct, but don't underestimate the Draconid people. They were capable of a lot more than you'd expect. Besides, maybe Golurk has a secret Dragon form we don't know about." Howard coughed into his fist, imagining the sight.

"You're right, though. This Golurk is about 900 years younger than the height of Draconid power." Howard nudged it with a foot, before looking at Tsubaki. The fact that he knew at a glance was both scary and impressive."It likely crashed here due to a distortion, before getting buried. I wouldn't be surprised if the Sea influenced its programming, and helped it go haywire. Do you mind if I catch it? I'd like to study it."

Suddenly, Howard slumped his head and tapped his fingers together nervously.

"EhehImeanifyoudon'tmindI'dliketostudyitbutit'sshinyandreallyraresoifyouwantitIdon'tmind..."

---

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki

Howard's shame was nonexistent, and Tsubaki's words of derision bounced off his shoulders. He even looked proud, despite the fact that he was groveling. He really wanted this specimen. It was like him, in a sense. Wandering aimlessly until it found something fulfilling. Someone to obey.

Howard felt the same way, in a strange sense.

"Of course. I'm probably one of the only people in the region who can communicate with it, anyways." Howard said, waving his hand as if brushing away an issue. Communicating directly with Golurks was a nonissue. They understood their trainer's orders easily, but speaking in the ancient languages that they were originally programmed in? Difficult.

"■■■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■■■■!" Howard shouted in an ancient language. Instinctively, the Golurk raised its head to attention. To it, Howard was a new liege lord. The archaeologist snapped his fingers at the Golurk, before reaching into his pocket for a Pokeball. He inspected the device for a moment, his expression warping with the light as he did so.

He threw it and let it shake. It clicked.

"Yeah, maybe. I'll let him know." Howard adjusted his hat and smiled at Tsubaki. "Wait, whaddya mean 'pathetic'!?"

---

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki