the yowl was too close. when she turned to witness the shadow on the rocks, she found herself unable to move, pinned beneath its gaze through the dark.[break][break]

she felt the familiar pressure as lugia drew near, without having to see it. a wave of cold fear washed over her.[break][break]

her hand reached for a pokeball, but she found herself straining to move under the psychic power of her own shadow alakazam. its corrupted red eyes glared wickedly at her.[break][break]

she was alone.[break][break]

avoiding the devastating gaze of lugia altogether, her eyes met his with unwavering resolve despite it all.[break][break]

”no.”[break][break]

it was almost difficult to utter under the weight of such power bearing down on her. her heart pounded harder, still, defiant.[break][break]

”i won’t… i’ll say it again.”[break][break]

after a couple of panicked breaths that she thought might very well be her last, the voice that followed was wild, loud, hurt, honest to the bottom of her soul screaming at him.[break][break]

”you’ll have to kill me too! fuck! you’ll have to kill me first!”[break][break]

she strained futilely against the forces of a god, reaching for any weapon.[break][break]

”put me out of my fucking misery, gavin merlino!”[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]
[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-alakazam"]

’who do you work for?!’[break][break]

she had nearly died for cillian once in FERNANDO SILPH ’s apartment. under the councilman’s foot, in a puddle of her own blood and vomit, as her ghosts picked away at her soul at the command of tapu fini, and she had still not told him in those days of rocket’s hiding. she worked for no one, she had insisted.[break][break]

it had been to protect family that she’d still been getting to know again. it had been for love.[break][break]

his rage cracked quickly, yet she was held there. imprisoned. imprisoned for too long.[break][break]

imprisoned by galar. imprisoned by fear of the dragons. imprisoned by corruption of the council, wickedness of rocket, and family.[break][break]

”no!” no more![break][break]

”just get it over with! the world’s ending, anyways!”[break][break]

the pressure made her strain to maintain her volume. weariness forced her voice to soften, yet more energy was spent in the soft sobs that followed.[break][break]

”i’m so tired...” tears fell freely down her face, glistening under the moonlight.[break][break]

”do it!” she screamed again.[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]
[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-alakazam"]

his accusation twisted a knife in her gut she hadn’t realized was there.[break][break]

it had crossed her mind before. she couldn’t just defect as others had, after all, to escape this life she had created. she despised the league in a personal way few could understand. she would give them nothing, and they’d ship her back to prison in galar at the first given opportunity. her only option would be to flee the region, and there was no energy left.[break][break]

but she didn’t desire to leave, either. she had tried, and she was back, and she knew that after spending so long searching for him in the beginning and damning herself to prove her worth, turning away would only leave her lost in the end. rocket was her home.[break][break]

so, when he so eagerly approached a battle she could not bear to watch, she begged for rest instead. end it.[break][break]

but the end did not come.[break][break]

the alakazam released its psychic hold on her. she sputtered, speechless at first. through the dark and blur of tears, he was difficult to see, and so her gaze merely fell away. she felt unworthy, and that felt like death.[break][break]

she realized, then, that this was only the beginning of worse times. that this was bad and still she was stuck. would be stuck forever, in a submarine, toiling away sleeplessly in pursuit of the salvation of a world that hated her. hated them.[break][break]

”home…”[break][break]

she coughed, and then became hysterical. a bit of laughter spilled out from the fraying seams of sanity. then, she charged at him, not reaching for any weapon, but attempting to shove him as hard as she could.[break][break]

”fuck you! how could you!”[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]
[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-alakazam"]

perhaps surprisingly, she did not carry a gun. only a knife big enough to get her out of trouble, and pokeballs containing creatures that some would find terrifying but he would surely laugh at just as much.[break][break]

it didn’t deter her. she shoved, and managed to send him back a step, and that was something. it felt good, at least.[break][break]

she reached out to do it again.[break][break]

”how could you hunt your own brother! monster!”[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]
[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-alakazam"]

he didn’t budge. a couple of defeated punches against his folded arms would surely get her nowhere too, but again, it felt good.[break][break]

she hadn’t worried about cillian much. if anything, she had assumed her own death would be walsh’s requirement to reaffirm his loyalty. as much work as she had done for team rocket, she had never felt irreplaceable. there was plenty of brilliance in the world, ripe for corruption. she had done enough recruiting to know.[break][break]

she blinked away tears to see him more clearly, and the look in her eye pleaded with him, don’t make me answer that.[break][break]

”what is it that he’s betraying? you lured him into a dark world, and when you found out who he was, you pulled him in deeper. did you feel like it was out of love?” her tone might seem to imply he wasn’t capable of such a thing.[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]
[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-alakazam"]

she had never been close enough to rowan to know how he’d truly acted towards cillian. more closeness had been between the two brothers, and she had watched on curiously from a distance, inept at forming any such connection.[break][break]

it didn’t matter. rowan was blood. they had become not two, but three, which was still so few, but it was a family of some kind.[break][break]

‘blood means nothing to me.’[break][break]

though she’d been asking for death only moments prior, now that it had passed, the words were chilling with no accompanying reassurance.

his rekindled anger was made clear by the swirling of miasma, but her own was dying now, burning dim into ashen sorrow. her eyes were full of disdain and heartbreak for what they had both become.[break][break]

what had blood done for them? never mind what family had truly failed them so long ago.[break][break]

”it has made us rich, and damned our souls.”[break][break]

the next was not a threat, but a promise, and he would not need her to see it through.[break][break]

”you will regret it.”[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]Cillian Quinn [break]
[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-alakazam"]