✧ desi | diamandis ✧
✧ she/her ✧
✧ twenty five ✧
✧ september 23 ✧
✧ lumiose, kalos ✧
✧ bisexual ✧
✧ idol | dj ✧
✧ gym leader ✧
✧ do i know what's real? ✧
TAG WITH @desiree
DESIREE BLOOMS
proceeding the blood mud [c/thomas]
POSTED ON Dec 5, 2023 11:14:10 GMT
[nospaces] [attr="class","desikiss"] [attr="class","body"] It hurt just as much hearing his response as it did allowing her blunt words to leave her lips, a blooming sensation of an aching heart casting its petals through the numbness granted from what had unfolded in their extremely recent past. Desiree never wanted someone as close to him as he'd grown to be to feel like they were a shitty friend, especially those that she allowed close to her; though she took to sincerities and wished to be full of love, if she truly felt someone was shitty she was one to restrict contact in every facet. It was a small grudge that tore at her often, sure, but she never wished for others to be caught in its wake.[break][break] She wanted to face those grudges alone in silence, to not create the opportunity for feelings to turn sour. It was as if she believed the feelings of hers were far less important than the feelings of others, unable to account for herself. "Never say you're a shitty friend, please, don't say that," she said with a sniffle, reaching for his hand, ".. you stuck by my side back there, you always asked if I was okay, even after I hurt you. You protected me.. it's anything but shitty what you've done for me." Thinking about such things, such a genuine wish, brought warmth to her chest. A light cast through the darkness, though temporary, brought by the distraction of the kindness he bestowed unto her.[break][break] But six years of watching others being consumed by those forces alluded to by so many? It was a story just like all the others had said; just as how they claimed Hoenn was the ultimate destroyer, the taker of everything precious. Desiree did not believe those initial claims, she cast them out in the name of chasing distractions and naivety. To distract herself with any ethereal, vicious, otherworldly feat in the name of fleetingly pushing the thoughts away of her rampant guilt and grief. Some of it saved her in her lowest of lows, some brought the lowest of the lows. But she felt it all until she was numb and allowed it to repeat, yet to be desensitized.[break][break] "It feels like Kalos was a different world than the one we live in here, I was blind to it all..," she said, holding a hand out to grace the petals of the Flabebe, ".. the Megalopolans, the distorting realities, the lands beyond the rifts.. I never dreamed I'd ever be exposed to things like this, things I once considered fictitious, too cruel to be true. But.. I don't know how to explain it, it's just.. when I first stepped through the opening to the Ultra Deep Sea, it was like I was enamored with magic, even if it proved to be so vile, vicious. I've always wanted to chase it, to distract me from it all.. but each time I think it's going good, Godfrey creeps in, he haunts me.. and to think all this time, he's nothing but a grain of sand in the grand scheme of the universe and its divinities?"[break][break] She rambled as her mind unwound, a pit in her previously numb stomach beginning to unfold further. It was none other than a feeling of cosmic fear, reinforced by the kiss of the Megalopolans and their virulent Nihilego upon her skin. Bernstein, her father, the cannibals, all shrouded in cryptic, hostile veils; the world was cruel, made cruel by the previously unthinkable. Such fear brought pain to her head as it did the pit, aching. But from within clawed a wish to no longer be the damsel so many saw her as, brought upon by spite, faithfulness lost in the world's natural processes.[break][break] "If that's what it will take to preserve love in the world, I want to more than anything," she said, taking a drag of her cigarettes in hesitation, ".. I never took what those around me said seriously about the evil in the cracks, how it lurks and bites.. I want to now, I want to prepare for it, but.." Fear began to eat at her curious mind.[break][break] "What else.. have you seen? Please don't keep it from me, please, fuck the NDA," her words crept out with shakiness, ".. if I'm training to face things like this, I need to know.."[googlefont=Poppins] [newclass=".desikiss"]--accent:#ff9ebe;font:12px Poppins;[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss b"]color:var(--accent);font:bold 14px Roboto;letter-spacing:.1px;[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss i"]color:var(--accent);[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss u"]text-underline-offset:3px;text-decoration-color:var(--accent);[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss a"]font:12px Poppins;color:var(--accent);[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss h1"]font:16px Poppins;color:var(--accent);font-weight:bold;[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss h2"]font:14px Poppins;color:var(--accent);font-weight:bold;[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss .body"]background-image:url("https://image.ibb.co/cpf8Wc/flower_patt.png");background-position:bottom;background-repeat:no-repeat;text-align:justify;letter-spacing:.2px;[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss .pkmn img"]margin:-10px -7px 0px -7px;[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss .credit"]width:100px;background-color:#232323;font-size:10px;margin-top:7px;padding:3px;[/newclass] [newclass=".desikiss .credit a"]font-size:10px;[/newclass]
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