[attr="class","illieicon"]

[attr="class","illie b"]the warmth is calming, soothing, and slowly she feels herself beginning to steady. the sorrow, the grief, the agony. it all seems to drift away at the pressing of another body against hers. breathing slows until they're no longer coming out in breathless gasps, sobs releasing their grip on her throat. it's odd, really, to find someone who not only grounds her but actually wants to. perhaps it's the kindred spirits they share, those similar feelings tying them together forever. she doesn't know, doesn't quite understand, but she presses closer nonetheless.

it dawns on her as stormy begins speaking, as she absorbs everything and practically soaks up her sadness, that she doesn't deserve her. she's a bright light in a dark world and illeana knows she wants to keep that light, as selfish as that may be.

"but," she tries to offer a rebuttal but the words die in her throat. instead, she swallows thickly around the emotions and struggles to find exactly what she wants to say. between the wine and the heightened emotions, it's difficult to sort through the jumbled thoughts. in the end, she settles upon, "you love him..." and he more than likely still loves you, her mind finishes. sometimes, it's a bitter pill to swallow but she's accustomed to the taste by now. besides, stormy deserves the world, that much she's certain of.

warmth fades once stormy pulls away but it never truly leaves. her friend lingers with careful hands, comfort drifting from her fingertips. her skin heats at the touch, a flush blossoming across her cheeks despite the tear stains. really, what did she ever do to deserve such a person? it's both baffling and incredible and she's leaning into warm hands without a second thought.

bits and pieces of her past are spilled out to rest suspended in the air, new life breathing into them with every passing moment. it's terrifying and yet, she almost feels a little bit lighter. perhaps it's simply just the wine but... she's been holding this in for too long and if she hadn't uttered a single thing about it? well, it might have just suffocated her. and yet, a full story isn't painted. parts are omitted, key parts that might just be better left unsaid. besides, her skin tells the story well enough.

"i," she attempts and her voice falters on the single syllable. she winces at the hoarse sound and closes parted lips for a moment. gather yourself, she wills and while it's futile, she finds her voice in the end. "it's so hard to believe that after everything, though. i -- i don't see it if i'm being honest." how could she? blades have carved failure into her skin, her veins. how can that just be erased so easily? her eyes dart away as she tries to continue. a sob punctuates the words but she presses on anyway, ignoring the way she crumbles into ruins just a little further. "failure's all i know," a pause follows and she's dragging her eyes back. "you're stronger, stormy. i promise you that." she can't even handle nightmares let alone the weight of her actions. add that as fuel to the fire of her past and it's a fatal weight she isn't strong enough to bear.

the feeling of fingers curling around hers pulls her away from whatever thoughts swirl in her mind, grounding her in this moment once again. and then, her breath hitches in her throat and she's breaking at the seams all over again.

"they're not beautiful," she almost wails, new tears bubbling up over waterlines and spilling against skin. it's difficult to see the scars from stormy's eyes, to see what she fully means. they hold too much history, too much pain and anguish forever embedded in her skin. "they're disgusting and horrifying and i can't -- i can't believemyparentsdidthat!" she's torn between sadness and anger, words meshing together until another sob escapes and she's pressing as close as she possibly can to stormy. the fluttering sensation of a forehead pressing against another mildly distracts her and as her eyes dart between eyes and lips, she's overcome with a dilemma she probably should even be fathoming. and yet, she's aware of how easily it could be to close that distance, to blur the lines of friendship and comfort and all those feelings she can't distinguish.

in the end, she doesn't give in if only to protect stormy from herself.