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so he would–but not immediately. not that afternoon, on an empty stomach that suddenly felt sick not just from emptiness but also from fear. he would eat a sandwich, and perhaps wait for cian to leave first. that way, if something bad had happened, his little brother would neither see him cry nor be within his reach.[break][break]

he nodded towards the house and started that way. it was a quiet walk if cian let it be. when they got to the door, he went in ahead, and bounced it on his fingers.[break][break]

the fridge was the next stop. ”want something to drink? water, tea… cider… whatever this is… he pulled out a can of something fluorescent, glancing over the label. ’primal charge!’ it screamed in silent aggression, ’320 mg caffeine – feel wild, embrace the primal roar!’ he put it back on the shelf and grabbed the water pitcher.[break][break]

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bo was there as much as she would allow, even if it was just out on the farm shoveling shit somewhere. he was thriving, in the vicinity, where he felt he ought to be with all his heart. life was good, despite his fears.[break][break]

that day was an especially good day so far, because he was not out shoveling shit early in the morning, but rather sleeping in, with her in his arms. he groaned a little in protest as she pulled away and got up. Listened, eyes still mostly shut. maybe he could drift back to sleep for just a little while longer…[break][break]

but instead, he awoke more with every knock in rapid succession on their door, until he realized it sounded like someone was panicked on the other side.[break][break]

though a bit slower than her, he did not take long to descend the stairs too, suddenly wide awake and alert.[break][break]

”ollie?”[break][break]

his hair stuck up on either side like a noctowl’s brow.[break][break]

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he wasn’t really still drunk, of course–but if she’d believe it, it was a valid enough excuse. better than stupid, he figured. ”maybe.”[break][break]

they walked, and he was all sunshine when she slipped her arm in his.[break][break]

”you still know where you’re going…” it was almost a question, but still somehow close enough to an affirmation that it felt like it could slide by as support if she was feeling confident enough in herself.[break][break]

lo and behold, they were soon there, standing in a garden of memories and old roots he’d tripped over long ago. he grinned at cowboy, but it wavered in the sense of wonder that took over his face.[break][break]

it did not only remind him only of times with her, but of being a teenager in general. sneaking in places for fun, back when getting into a little bit of trouble was harmless, and his mother had been there to scold him.[break][break]

”wow. i haven’t been out here since we were here last time...” it had been over a decade. it suddenly did not feel that way anymore at all. ”the trees look any taller to you?”[break][break]

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mossdeep observatory. the last time he had been here, it had been during the soiree. the minior shower had happened early. assassins with unown had attacked from another dimension, and the interdream zone had opened up.

he was on edge this second time. but he’d kept it to himself, except for moments of silence that had stretched a little too long not to notice on the way there.[break][break]

”this place is pretty impressive, huh?” he asked willow atkins as they entered, his eyes lingering on the comets in the decor, and then drifting away to familiar faces that reminded him to smile. it was natural, once it was there on his face.[break][break]

it would be fine. they’d have a good time. they were always in danger no matter where they were anyways.[break][break]

”oh, look, the telescope’s a tree. that’s cool.” he carried over the bluk berry pie that willow had baked as a gift from the two of them (he’d been in her company during the process). it was placed beneath.[break][break]

”bet they got eggnog.” he looked around. it was somewhere, along with food. there was a lot going on. ”there’s ollie.” he waved at ollie morales as he hugged GIDEON GRAVES , surely easy to spot at his height in a bright red sweater, with thwackey and charmander and a smiling togepi embroidered on the front, exchanging gifts beneath a tree themselves.[break][break]

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”oh, okay.”[break][break]

it would never occur to him that she’d used the back door, and a faded memory would remain of the time he found out he couldn’t run for shit at thirty. he’d always been the slow-footed one in his family, which had put him at about normal, considering caden maher and CIAN MAHER were superhuman in that regard. however, one bo stride was equivalent to at least two willow strides by his measure. he probably ought to take up running, he figured, lest he forget how to do it altogether.[break][break]

speaking of confusing transportation, there was no horse outside. he blinked and briefly looked out the window at the low sun in the sky. fuck. am i still drunk?[break][break]

”shit. i watched you park, didn’t i?” he remembered. maybe she’d have been better off parking the horse. ”yeah, walk sounds nice.”[break][break]

he walked out with her, smiling twice as big when her arm slipped under his and pulling her a little closer, though (hopefully) not enough to knock her off-balance. she parted to grab her jacket, and then they started down the street, and he realized pleasantly again how familiar it all felt.[break][break]

”roman doesn’t really seem like a horse guy.” he wasn’t really either. dodrio was more his style. ”i’ll be your cowboy, though.”[break][break]

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did he remember the bar last night? some of it. best not to answer that question, maybe. it didn’t matter. the memory, however, did come back to him, blurry as it was, of her shocking victory in the race to the car.[break][break]

”yeah, how did you even do that? i don’t remember you being a track star in high school.”[break][break]

he swiped the bill and placed down enough cash to cover it and a generous tip. then, sucking down on the straw one more time, he got out of his seat, eager to move one step closer to kissing her again, even if the route there was surely foolish.[break][break]

”hell no they won’t.”[break][break]

turning to her again, he then remembered. ”so… are we taking your horse, or... how should we do this?”[break][break]

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”cool.”[break][break]

as he followed greyson to the hives, nacho, his vaporeon, came barreling towards them, set to run right past. bo swooped down and grabbed him up, twirling around in the process from the force.[break][break]

”no ya don’t!”[break][break]

while the vaporeon struggled against him, he reached down to grab a stick and throw it far as he could in the direction opposite of the hives. the vaporeon propelled off his chest and ran off again after it, but became distracted by something else in the grass a fair distance away, freeing them of hazardous antics for now.[break][break]

"nacho's trouble." surely, greyson was already aware, having been around plenty. the vaporeon was a mischief-maker ever on the prowl.[break][break]

”so, how do we do this?”[break][break]

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it was not the response he’d been expecting. immediately, he regretted all the time he’d wasted staying at a distance, out of touch.[break][break]

”no, cian. that’s definitely not a given.”[break][break]

vexation returned to his voice over his brother’s nonchalance. ”i’ll call him, then. it’s probably better if you don’t, anyways.”[break][break]

turning a half step towards the house, he sighed. ”you wanna go inside?“ he was hungry and it was hot out.[break][break]

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libidinous behavior. what did it say about her? at least he could assure, ”nothing that’ll drive me off.”[break][break]

louise returned with a massive milkshake and he gawked, mouth in an o-shape. the slice had always been a magical experience for him.[break][break]

”wow…”[break][break]

hearing her request, the memories came rushing back and he smiled. he wasn’t meant to be getting into that kind of trouble at his age, in his position, with his past; but he would do the dumbest shit for her without question. some things simply did not change.[break][break]

”yeah, of course we can go to the arboretum. lots of pizza weighin’ us down if we have to run from the cops...” he leaned forward and sucked on a straw too, peering at her mischievously. ”but i’m not scared if you aren’t.”[break][break]

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”thanks louise.”[break][break]

probably when she shouldn’t have been. he did look smug, teeth flashing, too pleased with himself. for years he’d yearned, wondering if she thought of him too, and now, he knew, and it felt like how good pizza tasted. hot, gooey, filling nourishment for his despairing soul.[break][break]

"that's nice to know."[break][break]

when she threw in the towel, he joined her. ”me too.” he gave a contented sigh and stretched out in his seat a little more. ”i don’t think they changed a thing. just what i was hoping for.”[break][break]

delicious, and now that dinner was out of the way, he had other things on his mind. a nap was only one of them.[break][break]

”so, what do you wanna do after this?”[break][break]

other than kiss him–but he would accept that answer as well.[break][break]

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for sport. he gave a snort of laughter, tickled by the perfect foolishness of his selection. pretty colors were as deep as it got for him. perhaps he should have consulted a professional, instead of just buying whatever–but she was still smiling, so maybe he’d still done alright.[break][break]

halfway through storytime, he shook his head and began to dig into his pizza again, though his eyes were still on her. the game had been won. he could eat at ease, no longer sitting at the edge of his seat.[break][break]

”i’m a dumbass,” he eventually confessed.[break][break]

when she got to explaining the stems and he noticed the blush on her face, his pizza was set down once again attentively.[break][break]

”lust, huh? interesting choice.” he gazed at her, grin playful as ever when his shoe tapped lightly against hers beneath the table, but his eyes were all longing. he let just a moment of silence fall between them, before assuring her, ”i think of you all the time, just fyi.”[break][break]

a smirk curled, teasing. ”guess it must be the clovers.”[break][break]