[nospaces]
[attr="class","parigid"]
[attr="class","parigidw"]
Pride and egotism were a spectrum that Pace didn't balance well - he was well aware of his constant obsession with the self, and as a stupid kid who had worked his way up into the depths of the Marzan's seedy underbelly, it had been at an all-time high.[break][break]
When they had come to him asking him to take care of someone else; closer, quieter, more important than ever before, he'd said yes before even knowing who it was. His own sunshine blinded him, so caught up in the life he had to realise it could affect him too. When it was Cosima, Pace knew that by extension it was Mars' name in that request. Mars' blood on the floor of that room. He had loved her, too, in many ways - but to involve Mars was evil beyond evil.[break][break]
Was it because of who Mars was, or who Mars was
to Pace? Even there, in what Pace called his most selfless hour behind closed doors, was he being so painfully selfish? If Mars was a nobody to him, would he have killed her?[break][break]
He's snapped back into reality by the question that runs alongside his own mind, and Pace stares at him like a man who doesn't have an answer. Or perhaps a man who fears the answer he knows is true. Mars is calm, so much so that it hurts more than if he had started beating him. Pace shakes his head.[break][break]
"I... Mars, please, you know I..." A sigh. Mars knows him so well, like a brother and a lover and a best friend all at once.[break][break]
He releases Mars' arm and meets his eyes. Gold on amber no longer, now like heavy darkness on all-encompassing shadow. They were such different men now, like the world had rearranged every part of them. He searches in those eyes for a moment and knows the man who owns them like he knows himself, and Pace knows he can't lie to him.[break][break]
Hateful as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another.[break][break]
"No. I didn't."[break][break]
Like rotted fruit in his mouth: it comes out more easily than he'd expected, but tastes as foul and viscous as tar.[break][break]
"It was just me. All me."[attr="class","parigidpokes"]
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