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Chocolate eyes noted the receipts in the wallet. Wasn't it just like a bureaucrat to keep such meticulous documents? It occurred to him that a lot those expenses likely went to the state to deal with rather than her own bank account. Perks of working in high level government he supposed. He accepted the card as the gengar watched greedily.
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''Gratitude. Never had bluk berry anything, but Taph will eat almost whatever you set in front of him.'' The ghost pokemon tried to look indignant. ''Gengar,'' he crossed his arms, but at the same time he was nearly drooling. A smirk tugged at one side of his mouth as he cast a skeptical glance at the fiend.
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''Come on shithead,'' he waved the creature on as he started toward the door of the conference room. ''See you around boss lady. Keep your dogs on their leashes.''

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''Zepp, help me figure out what the fuck is going on.'' The drifblim took the boy into his baloony arms and began to float above a steadily burning scene, the flames were odd in appearance, but it reminded Andy of Mauville and Balder Schwartz. ''I bet that fucker Schwartz is around here somewhere.'' Epitaph nodded grimly. ''Gengar.''
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Aside from the rampaging tauros the tapu bulu drew his attention as it emanated malice and energy. His duskull's eye glowed an eerie gleam, offering fortunes of doom to fill his vision through the use of future sight. The duskull levitated up to match Andy's admittedly meager height. Thankfully, most of the other patrons, some of whom he was familiar with were already attacking.
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''Duuuah! Duaaah!'' As the energy balls came, all of Blackadder's remaining pokemon dodged deftly thanks to Monocle's forwarning. ''Arceus' asshole, there's always some godly bullshit going on in this region,'' Andy said after being jerked around thanks to Zeppelin's evasive maneuvers. ''If all these fucking things are pissed off they can just use their holy fuck shit powers to go to a region they like better. Fuck!''
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''Drifblim?'' His pokemon asked for direction. ''Give this floating butt plug a reason to be angry. Stomp it into snom shit.'' Zeppelin raised the boy up out of harms way, which startled him slightly, ''ah!'' It jettisoned a gust from its bottom at the thing. Meanwhile Epitaph opened his toothy gullet to expel a toxic cloud at the tapu bulu.
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''It can for sure get blown away,'' he corrected. ''You just need the right weather.'' Of course Doug was curious why he hadn't seen it on any pokemart. The answer was obvious. It wasn't listed there to the general public, because it technically wasn't intended for general use. ''There's a Galarian company that makes these in a few types.'' He would leave out their name.
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Doug couldn't afford it anyway.
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''It's intended for like construction sites, or archaeological digs. You know, shit where people need to stay a while, but not forever. Believe it or not, this isn't even the expensive one. They have the primo model with multiple rooms that's powered by rotoms. It would cost me like three years stipend for that one.'' Of course any of them were a tad too permanent for a functional camp.
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''It's intended to be thrown up somewhere and the company will move it or repossess when you're done, if you're the kinda wanker that's into renting. I use pokemon to move it wherever I want though. I am not paying some asshole for it.'' Modern problems required modern solutions. ''Why don't you try out the bed, eh? It's damn comfortable for a little cot looking thing.''

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It was Rowan. Andy had always considered him a walking advertisement for an attitude adjustment, which was damned odd coming from him. While the child could be barbed, the older student operated on a whole other level. His ire was constant, and his target was anyone in sight. Even Blackadder himself wasn't that deranged.
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''Filled the short quota, Wrynn. Just like you filled the obnoxious crotch jokey quota. Diversity is our strength and all.'' And all the while he never looked up from the book, or even smiled to himself. While normally doling out harshness to the deserved brought him joy, Rowan just made it so mundane. Although perhaps that was just because it was so often.
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What a chore.
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''Do you even listen to the fecal matter than sprays out of your face?'' A question for a question, and this time he looked up from the pages and craned his neck to peer over a shoulder. ''You cannot read a picture book. It doesn't contain any bloody words, you fucking slack-jawed troglodyte.'' Ah. There we were. That was getting the juices flowing. He couldn't resist pointing out stupidity.
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It gave him life.

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''I put books in the fire.'' Of course he didn't just do it for the sake of it. The words in them had hurt his feelings. But he wasn't even sure how he would explain that. Perhaps that was just the magic of language. Some quip by a man long dead could maul and maim centuries after his death. Was that a power that even a child like him could learn?
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''Yes. I am not a baby anymore mummy,'' the child announced in response to his mother's question with no small amount of indignation in his voice. The young lacked for subtlety. With some effort Andy climbed the supporting spokes of the chair like a determined gremlin until the reached the top. There he planted his butt, the stool rocking unsteadily for a moment.
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Of course he wasn't close enough to the counter to actually reach it. So he just kept floating out there. His legs began to kick back and fourth to swing the stool slightly to and fro. Chocolate eyes watched with some level of fascination. It wasn't often that his mother cooked. That was for the... well, the cook. He wasn't sure if this meant he was being rewarded or punished.
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''Blueberry mummy,'' he announced. ''Strawberries are icky.'' Continuing to kick his feet as he sat there, he wondered, ''can you cook biscuits? I don't want them to taste bad.'' No amount of blueberry jam would make up for burnt or doughy biscuits. He wished Epitaph where there. The gastly probably would have laughed. Where did he even go?

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A follow-up wood hammer sent the graveler flying, surely a home run if Andy had to admit. The other defender started shouting something about restraint. The Galarian had never been one for restraint; always more of a fan of shock and awe. When smoke started to obscure the dig site however, he became a little annoyed. How was he supposed to fight if he couldn't see?
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''Yo, what the fuck?'' King Louie fluttered up from the earth, looking only a little worse for wear. The boy would have lost sight of it and the trevenent if it hadn't been for their glowing eyes emitting enough eerie light to pierce through the smoke. What annoyed him more, was that he could still hear the guy fighting. Andy wasn't letting the opportunity go to waste though.
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''Epitaph,'' he started quietly from the other side of the dhelmise. ''Look for anything cool.'' The gengar's shiny white form was easy to keep track of at their close distance as well, enough for him to see the creature's grin widen mischievously before disappearing himself, slowly transitioning into the smoke. ''Hey!'' He shouted, ''if they're using dig this won't do shit!''

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The last thing he had expected to happen tonight was to get into a fistfight only to have it broken up by John Sullivan. He seemed fairly pissed, and Andy didn't exactly understand why at first. With the festival collapsing around them, he could get that part, but he was just trying to help Hideo get away from his rouge pokemon. At least with Doug's help he wouldn't have to apologise to Hideo for his own pokemon dog piling the hatterene.
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''What is it this time?'' The question was spat through an annoyed scoff. ''Rocket? Megalopolans? Giratina him-fucking-self'' On the cusp of capping it off with a whatever before acquiescing to Doug's request a familiar face emerged from the chaos, and rather than say anything he could only whiten to the point of a sheet, which was impressive given how pale he already was.
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The woman who arrived to glomp him looked like his mother, but the tears made him wary. The woman that had disappeared was distant and severe. The hug was another red flag, and not just because he couldn't breathe in her bosom. His other pokemon looked on in wide-eyed confusion. What was going on? It was only Epitaph who intervened, prying the two apart with poltergeist. He didn't trust this either.
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''Gengar!'' Her behavior was unusual, but the presence of both Cepheus and the centiskorch made it unlikely that his was a false flag. Epitaph knew his master's paranoia too well. ''Gen. Gengar. Gengar.'' He pointed this out as best he could, literally pointing a finger on each hand. ''Where the fuck have you been?!'' About a million questions had been stored up over the year.
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''You know what? It doesn't matter. I'll deal with you later.'' The declaration was spoken over a thrust finger if his own. ''Sprout, get them out of here. To camp and keep an eye on this one.'' It seemed Hideo's pleas would be ignored. The phantump was reluctant, but nothing was scarier than his trainer's anger to the little pokemon. ''Phantump! Phan.'' Hovering close to the two, dark portals would appear in them before they all slid into the shadows of phantom force.
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Nearby, another crash drew Andy's ire and a tauros would feel the brunt of it.
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''Let's crack some heads! Zepp, slap that stupid cow's shit!'' The drifblim charged a shadow ball to fling at the thing.
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His comment about his house having the same number of floors made Andy wonder if the place was as big as this. Most people who visited him here commented on how lavish the estate was, which made him feel both proud and disappointed simultaneously. Though to be fair, it wasn't as if this was his place. It was just where he was for right now.
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''Pssh.'' The Blackadder boy let off one of those accidental laughs he was actually disgusted with at Hideo's pun. He was too young to be making dad jokes! As he led his guest along, they made small talk. Part of him thought it was so odd that people wanted some massive, gaudy house near a prestigious city.
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The appearance of glamour was rarely glamorous.
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''Just since the start of the summer. And live here is a bit misleading. I stay here sometimes with the blessing of my aunt. It isn't home. To be fair though, my place in Galar was really similar, a little more traditional or some shit I guess, but it never really felt to homey either.'' There was a slight hint of melancholy in his tone, so it was time to change the subject.
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''Guess you've been here your whole life huh?'' Continuing to lead the boy thought the dining room, and then the den, his free hand parted a pair of double doors out onto the veranda. The hardened material of the home's floors gave way to a hardy oak, and their footfalls would betray as much. There was a short staircase down onto the patio.
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''Steps here. Four,'' he warned, guiding Hideo's descent with a perhaps surprising patience. The wood gave way to stone and eventually his gait halted. He released the other boy's hand. ''Well, here we are.'' The surroundings were offered through a gesture, as if it were a gift. ''Wish you could see the view. I assure you it's ravishing.''

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''Gengar?'' Epitaph had a little trouble believing it himself. It was Cepheus, and she was apparently there with her trainer. Which meant... ! ''Gen. Gengar. Gengar!'' He wasn't entirely convinced and he had no idea how he would convince Andy. Seeing the people being knocked around, he also spotted a familiar, bitey centiskorch. Turning to his own trainer, the situation was getting chaotic.
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''Hey! What the hell are you doing!?'' When he noticed the hatterene tackling Hideo to the ground his panick began to slowly paint her as a target. The Galarian trainer was trying to get his friend out of harms way and she was starting to become an obstacle. ''Gengar. Gengar!'' Epitaph was trying to get his attention, but Andy was way too far down the rabbit hole now. He started towards Vibes.
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''Get off of him you hat wearing bitch!'' The demand came with a likely puny right hook flung at the psychic type. The rest of his posse all turned their attention to the budding altercation, the phantump in particular looking rather purplexed at what was going on. It likely would have drawn a fair amount of attention were it not for the crowd starting to contort and break around them.
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The centiskorch had just been a precursor to a much bigger problem.
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People started to flee from what was at first an unknown threat. Epitaph gave a desperate look up at Cepheus before turning away. Duty called, it seemed. Hovering across the ground, he found chaos with his trainer and their friend, and with a crash nearby his attention was pulled to a tauros stomping a cotton candy stand to smithereens. The ghost wished Andy had just stayed in Galar.
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''Gengar!'' His compatriots looked when he called. ''Duuaah.'' Using his future sight the duskull warned him of the potential danger the beast posed, prompting Epitaph's eyes to flash as it attempted to slow the beast with a hypnosis. The other two pokemon moved closer to their trainer. ''Drifblim!'' Zeppelin hoped he wouldn't have to fight this hatterene along with whatever else.
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WYNDON, GALAR[break]
^{three years ago}
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The rain pattering against the window panes made for a relaxing setting. The only thing that would have improved it would be a crackling fire. Alas as fine as the institution was, a fireplace in every classroom was a bit much to ask. While his classes were over for the day, Andy still had club activities to attend to, something he regretted at times.
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Given that there was still close to an hour before the literature club was supposed to meet, the ten year old had found the room empty. Today they were to present in depth reviews on a Galarian literary classic of their choice. He had picked Bill Rattlepike again, having come to like the old poet and playwright despite how much his writing could struck at his soft points.
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So, to scare the poignant flavor from his tongue, he searched around one of the two of the clubroom's bookcases for a comedy, something with plenty of snark. After selecting one of the works of Oskar Mild, he moved towards one of the sofas and daybeds the room was furnished with and, after shedding the jacket of his academy uniform to cast it haphazardly over its singular arm, stretched out across it before cracking the cover.
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He had perhaps covered three sentences when he heard the door creak open.

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Oh he was more than a little anxious. His eyes shifted between the hatterene the ribombee and Hideo. If something uncooth was going on, he figured the four pokemon he had present could blitz them. The other boy went back to the game with some confusion, but little suspicion that Andy was on to him. As he shot the hoops again, he did even worse than before.
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Each missed shot seemed to have a calming effect. Maybe it was nothing. Just a coincidence. Perhaps he had gotten lucky with the psyduck hunt. Hideo's hearing had to be stellar. Maybe he could hear the little targets flip up and aim for that. Andy breathed a heavy sigh through his nose. He wasn't even sure how he would explain this to apologise.
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''Freeee!''
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Looking up at the cry, he squinted, mouth hanging slightly ajar. It was a butterfree, but it looked oddly familiar. Could it be ... Cepheus? But that was his mother's pokemon. When it landed atop his cranium there was little doubt. A paranoia growing in his eyes, they flicked to Epitaph. The gengar also recognized the butterfree and his mouth hung wide in shock.
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Of course it would make sense that Cepheus wouldn't recognize Epitaph's now shiny form.
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"What the fuck is going on here?'' For a long moment he ignored Hideo's question. Flailing his hands, he shooed Cepheus away. His other ghost pokemon all stared in relative puzzlement. His gaze snapped to Hideo. Too much weird shit was going on. It wasn't possible for Cepheus to be here. It had disappeared with his mother.
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''We need to leave,'' the Galarian stated with a desperate determination. ''Now.'' Obviously detecting that something was wrong, his cadre of spooks bunched up around Andy. A couple looking to the offending butterfree as if it had done something threatening. ''Something's wrong Hideo. Someone's here to get me. The same people who got my parents. We got to get the fuck out of here.''
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His antics were starting to draw some stares and whispers from passers by.

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Only grunts came in response to Doug's quips as the boy manuvered into position, slowly lying face down. He appreciated that his guest was trying to make the best of it. It wasn't going to be as good of a time as he had planned, but such were the wiles of life. It was the first time he has ever been injured while looking for pokemon, and he still couldn't believe it.
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He was thirteen, which meant he was immortal.
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''I don't know about ass first, but they say to always lead with your best quality.'' Perhaps he wiggled his eyebrows, or perhaps he was just grimacing. Andy had no idea why he was even saying anything. Talking smack was better when you had the capability to actually follow up and he clearly did not right now. Throwing a single hand off his side of the bed, he gestured to the surroundings.
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''So, what do you think? Better than a tent, eh''

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