MARCH UPDATE

6'0" / 183 cm height

i fell for your magic. i tasted your skin. and though this is tragic, at least i found the end.

awards

2,223 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @barnaby

POSTED ON Mar 10, 2022 3:07:53 GMT

Killian Decker and Martín del Mar like this

Barnaby had every intention of allowing Mars to clean himself alone. He was there, of course, clothed and attentive outside the shower door.

But the barrier between them was both physical and emotional, stopping him from crossing a line into an intimacy that he was unsure either of them wanted.

That was, until, Mars' sweet honey-colored eyes peered into his cobalt blue.

"It seems we may be kindred souls, Barnaby.”

All too suddenly memories of their time together came flooding back. Flashes of brightness, scenes of happy splendor, echoes of a mounting friendship.

"Never have I seen anyone look more beautiful or more at home amongst a thousand flowers.”

Quietly, Barnaby lifted his nightshirt over his head and let it fall to the floor.

"You, BARNABY FINCH, are elysian.”

His pants and undergarments were cast aside.

"As you’ll come to realise, Monsieur Finch, there’s no one quite like me in the entire world.”

The shower door clicked open and Barnaby entered. For better or worse, the barrier had been surmounted.

"... I want to." He spoke, gently but with insistence. Reaching for a wash cloth and soap, Barnaby began to slowly lather Mars' chest, where much of the blood had pooled.

"I want to." More softly this time, looking up into those weary, beautiful amber eyes.
Martín del Mar
☉

close tab

played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday

He/Him

August 4th

Canalave City, Sinnoh

Bi / Demiro

POG Bank CEO

Underboss

1008 height

Veni. Videre. Vincam.

awards

4,525 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Mar 10, 2022 4:19:24 GMT

Killian Decker and BARNABY FINCH like this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","textwt"]

[attr="class","textwtw"]

Is this your last battle, Mars?

[break]
Mars hadn’t intended to come to BARNABY FINCH’s home tonight, he hadn’t asked him to do all this for him – to help him, to look after him, to comfort him. He’s not obligated to do any of it; not by their roles in Team Rocket, nor by the friendship that exists between them, and yet, he’s still doing it. He’s still helping him, he’s looking after him, he’s still comforting him, he’s still stepping onto cold tiles and under the water with him.
[break][break]
Why?
[break][break]
Why, Barnaby?
[break][break]
”I want to.”
[break][break]
One step past a physical barrier and the complete shattering of an invisible one. It breaks into countless pieces. It crumbles. And, as it does, amber eyes look into cobalt ones. Like the sun and sky, they exist in harmony. Like the sea and the golden sands upon which waves wash eternally.
[break][break]

No child, no.[break]
Do not settle for this land of dust and solitude.[break]
A long battle awaits you and you will be TRIUMPHANT.

[break]
”...I know, Barnaby.” Mars doesn’t stop him, he doesn’t question him anymore. He just looks at him, oh so quiet as a wash cloth gently removes the marks of blood upon his skin. And as he looks at him, he leans in, forehead softly pressing against that of BARNABY FINCH. Eyes close, his words a mere whisper yet still so meaningful. ”I know.”
[break][break]
There’s no need to explain. No need to discuss it any further. All he needs is this.
[break][break]
All he needs is this moment with him.
[break][break]
Water falls, washing spilt blood off his body, and perhaps also washing off his doubts with it. Once it runs clear, there’s one drop… two drops… three drop... right into that wellspring of will that had been left almost empty. It seems like barely anything at first, but to Mars, it means everything.

[break][break]

[attr="class","textwttag"]BARNABY FINCH

[attr="class","textwtpokes"]

[newclass=.textwt] width: 400px; margin: 0 auto; font-family: roboto; color: #aaa; font-size: 11px; letter-spacing: .5px; text-align:justify; padding-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; line-height: 15px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.textwt b] color: #60a697; font-size: 11.5px; font-family: trebuchet ms; letter-spacing: .5px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwt a] text-decoration: none; font-size: 11px; font-weight: lighter; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwt h1, h2, h3] display: inline-block; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwt h1] font-size: 13px; font-weight: lighter; color: #60a697; letter-spacing: .5px; line-height: 0px; font-family: monospace; text-transform: uppercase; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwt u] text-decoration: none;border-bottom: solid 1px #60a697; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwttag] text-align: right; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 20px; font: 10px monospace; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwttag a] font: 11px Montserrat; font-weight: 800!important; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: 0px; color: #60a697!important; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwtnotes] text-align: justify; padding: 20px 40px 10px 40px; font: 10px monospace; letter-spacing: .3px; border-top: solid 1.5px #323232; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwtnotes h1] font: 14px Montserrat; font-weight: 800!important; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #60a697; text-shadow: 2px 2px 0px #1e1e1e; padding-bottom: 5px; text-align:center;[/newclass]
[newclass=.textwtnotes a] font: 11px Montserrat; font-weight: 800!important; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: 0px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #60a697; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwtw] padding: 40px; background: #272727; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwt span] display: inline-block; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwtpokes] text-align: center; margin: 0 auto; background: #60a697; padding: 5px; width: 390px; margin-left: -40px; margin-bottom: -40px; margin-top: 10px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.textwtpokes img] margin-top: -10px; padding-bottom: 5px; [/newclass]

close tab

played by

Dove

Admin Bee

He / Him

April 12

Lumiose City, Kalos

Pansexual

Broadcast Journalist

Admin

6'0" / 183 cm height

i fell for your magic. i tasted your skin. and though this is tragic, at least i found the end.

awards

2,223 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @barnaby

POSTED ON Mar 12, 2022 7:45:38 GMT

Killian Decker and Martín del Mar like this

What else needed to be said?

Their foreheads touched, intimate and encompassing of a range of emotions, and together they washed away more than just blood.

Hesitance.

Distance.

Distrust.

On Mars' first whispered confirmation, Barnaby sensed a shift in their relationship.

What did it mean? How would this change things going forward? Was this for the better?

Barnaby didn't care. In this moment, where skin and hearts were laid bare, all he could focus on was him. Martín del Mar.

Tenderly, delicate hands worked to clean and rid him of every mark or blemish gained on this chaotic day. Mars would be washed anew, triumphant over the trauma - at least for now.

When it was time, Barnaby would lead him out of the shower and provide a towel for him to dry off. From a dresser drawer he'd also collect two sets of loungewear, offering one to the admin.

"Stay with me tonight." A request, although not phrased as one. By now they both knew that neither of them wanted to be apart tonight.
Martín del Mar
☉

close tab

played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday

He/Him

August 4th

Canalave City, Sinnoh

Bi / Demiro

POG Bank CEO

Underboss

1008 height

Veni. Videre. Vincam.

awards

4,525 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Mar 13, 2022 0:04:39 GMT

Killian Decker likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","textwt"]

[attr="class","textwtw"]

There are so many things Mars could say. So many things that he perhaps should say. What is Barnaby thinking? How is he feeling? He doesn’t know what happened, he doesn’t understand it, and yet he still doesn’t push for answers…
[break][break]
How can anyone be so selfless?
[break][break]
They stand together under the water’s warmth, forehead to forehead, and as the last remnants of the horrors Mars lived through are washed off his skin, beneath this invisible bridge of trust that has been built between them brick by brick, it’s the all too rare seeds of admiration that sprout despite the cold of winter – admiration for BARNABY FINCH.
[break][break]
For someone capable of listening, of caring for him, of helping him when he needs it.
[break][break]
There aren’t many people like that and Mars knows it.
[break][break]
”I want to.”
[break][break]
”I know.”
[break][break]
The words still ring in his mind even after it has all been said and done, because here, at one of his worst moments, when his will has left him and his heart is full of uncertainty, if there’s one thing he does not doubt, that is BARNABY FINCH. Should this worry him? What does it mean? Those are, perhaps, questions to be considered in the future. Not tonight. Not while they’re together.
[break][break]
"Stay with me tonight."
[break][break]
Perhaps they are of the same mind. Not a question, not a demand, but a fact. Something they both know will happen no matter what. It’s why he smiles even if faintly, taking the clothes while still looking at Barnaby. ”I will.”
[break][break]
And in this place where every single thing reminds Mars of him, while wearing clothes that do so too, he sits on this bed that isn’t his own and looks at the man that, in one night, has done so much for him. ”Do you really want to know about it?” Now that some of the shock has passed, now that some of his will has been restored, Mars knows he should talk about it – that Barnaby deserves answers.
[break][break]
Just as he knows he needs to overcome. He’s not sure how just yet, but he has to. Of that much he’s certain.

[break][break]

[attr="class","textwttag"]BARNABY FINCH

[attr="class","textwtpokes"]

close tab

played by

Dove

Admin Bee

He / Him

April 12

Lumiose City, Kalos

Pansexual

Broadcast Journalist

Admin

6'0" / 183 cm height

i fell for your magic. i tasted your skin. and though this is tragic, at least i found the end.

awards

2,223 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @barnaby

POSTED ON Mar 13, 2022 5:10:02 GMT

Killian Decker, Martín del Mar, and 1 more like this

"I will.”

Relief is an odd emotion. Sometimes, one doesn't even know it's what they're searching for until it washes over them, soothing and deceivingly seductive. This is the feeling that overtakes Barnaby as Mars assents and sits on the edge of his bed. He's here, he's alive, he's staying.

However, the emotion is short-lived, replaced by trepidation at the admin's question.

"I do." He paused, looking down into those honey-colored eyes, and gently tucked a strand of damp hair behind Mars' ear. "If you feel comfortable telling me."

He still didn't want to press him, didn't want to make demands. This was Mars' story to tell on his own terms, after all. Even if he didn't want to divulge, Barnaby would still do his best to be there for his friend.

Returning his hand to his side, the journalist moved to the other end of the bed and began pulling back the comforter and flat sheet. His gratuitous amount of pillows were arranged against the headboard in a way that was most comfortable for sitting upright. When everything had been laid out to his liking, Barnaby climbed onto the mattress and slid under his bedding.

"Join me?"

A hand was extended toward Mars, an offering this time instead of simply leading the admin into bed with him.
Martín del Mar
☉

close tab

played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday

He/Him

August 4th

Canalave City, Sinnoh

Bi / Demiro

POG Bank CEO

Underboss

1008 height

Veni. Videre. Vincam.

awards

4,525 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Mar 14, 2022 3:24:46 GMT

Killian Decker, BARNABY FINCH, and 1 more like this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","textwt"]

[attr="class","textwtw"]

How many times has he been invited into a bed before? Beckoned, offered a hand, tempted with a smirk and playful words? Rare were the times when he didn’t comply, when he didn’t give into his desires and take that offered hand…
[break][break]
Tonight, it’s different. That hand is there, and there’s a beckoning invitation too, but there’s no smirk and no flirting. Those usual things that exist between him and BARNABY FINCH are gone, and in their place there’s something much different – concern, care, understanding, and the trust that has been built between them.
[break][break]
So, truly, when Mars takes Barnaby’s hand and squeezes gently, it’s not complying as much as it is a mutual understanding. It’s him wanting to be there. It’s him moving closer and going under the covers – wrapping an arm around Barnaby not just for the sake of it, but because there’s proximity and comfort in the gesture. For, what follows is a sigh, heavy silence filling the air until he finds the right words to speak of what happened at Slateport Park.
[break][break]
”I worried for so long about why Azelf had reached out to me and others, about why the Lake Guardians were leaving behind all these clues… I really thought we would find answers when gathering everyone at one place, you know?” It’s frustrating. It’s so very frustrating. But, it’s for Barnaby’s sake that Mars does his best not to let that seep into his words – because his anger is not what is needed at this moment. Barnaby has already seen too many of the bad pieces of him.
[break][break]
”In a way, they did give us answers, but… all they had for us was warnings about ruin and death. And, then… Then the consequences of my own actions caught up with me, I guess.”
[break][break]
His own actions.
[break][break]
His fault.
[break][break]
They had been the ones who looked for answers, the ones who dared push to know the truth. They had tempted fate and fate had answered, but hadn’t been Azelf itself that had told him to defy this very concept? Had Azelf been trying to lure him to his own doom? It’s a saddening thought.

[break][break]

[attr="class","textwttag"]BARNABY FINCH

[attr="class","textwtpokes"]

close tab

played by

Dove

Admin Bee

He / Him

April 12

Lumiose City, Kalos

Pansexual

Broadcast Journalist

Admin

6'0" / 183 cm height

i fell for your magic. i tasted your skin. and though this is tragic, at least i found the end.

awards

2,223 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @barnaby

POSTED ON Mar 16, 2022 3:03:36 GMT

Killian Decker and Martín del Mar like this

Tonight was different. So much so in only the span of an hour. Where Barnaby was prepared for a cozy evening in, now the candles in his living room had burned themselves out, his tea gone cold, his paperwork forgotten in favor of something so much more important.

Martín del Mar, here, holding him in his arms.

Barnaby leaned into the admin's touch, relishing in the warmth and burgeoning familiarity. Despite the circumstances that had brought Mars to his home tonight, regardless of that initial panic and fear, he was feeling hesitantly...

Comfortable.

Perhaps that's why, after listening to Mars speak of Azelf's prophecy and the repercussions of his quest for the truth, Barnaby dared to question,

"But why do you need answers, Martín?" He asked in the gentlest tone he could muster, doing his best to sound non-accusatory. Mostly because he thought he knew why, but wanted to hear it from Mars' own lips.

"Trying to find the truth almost killed you once, mon trésor..." Softly, almost pleading. "I'm not sure you'll be so lucky a second time."
Martín del Mar
☉

close tab

played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday

He/Him

August 4th

Canalave City, Sinnoh

Bi / Demiro

POG Bank CEO

Underboss

1008 height

Veni. Videre. Vincam.

awards

4,525 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Mar 16, 2022 21:14:32 GMT

Xander Belmont, Killian Decker, and 2 more like this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","textwt"]

[attr="class","textwtw"]

If only this were the kind of night when he could hold BARNABY FINCH in his arms and smile while whispering beautiful verses to his ear. If only they could properly enjoy these moments. If only they were in some truly elysian place where there is no suffering and pain.
[break][break]
But, there is suffering. There is frustration, anger, horror, and pain. Too latent and present. All of it caused by his need for answers. Barnaby is right, and yet..
[break][break]
”Because it’s important, Barnaby… There’s too much at stake.” Mars holds him closer, inhaling the now familiar scent of the soap that had been so carefully and lovingly lathered onto his skin only minutes earlier. It’s nice. It makes him think of BARNABY FINCH. ”We knew they were trying to tell us something. The Guardians wouldn’t have done all that if it didn’t matter…”
[break][break]
It’s almost as if he’s trying to convince himself; like this is the story he has repeated a million times in his mind to justify his own actions. For, a deeper answer to the question lies within, and it’s much simpler and much less selfless than his concern over the state of the world.
[break][break]
”I couldn’t stand not knowing… Not understanding…” There it is, that curiosity that so often drives Martín del Mar, that cursed need to reach for the things being kept from him, that hubris that won’t allow him to live in blissful ignorance. He’s a man who craves understanding the secrets of the world, that much is true, but in this case the true answer lies even deeper than his most instinctive motivations.
[break][break]
It’s tightly that Mars holds him, as if somehow afraid that Barnaby would vanish in an instant and leave him all alone, and after a silent pause, his next words come as if a whispered secret he’d want no one else in the world to know:
[break][break]
”...Ever since my wife died, I’ve been fighting alone. I’ve pushed forward and made plans, but I’ve done it all alone. When Azelf visited me and gave me a prophecy… it felt like a sign. Like something out there, divine as it is, believed in me and believed I was following the right path… That I have a right to defy everything they have always wanted me to be… It felt nice. It felt nice to be told they were watching me.”
[break][break]
There, right there, is something Mars has never admitted before. Something he didn’t speak of when sharing Azelf’s prophecy with those he trusts, and something he had refused to acknowledge all this time.
[break][break]
That even he, Martín del Mar, a man so confident and who acts as if he can face it all on his own, can have doubts and crave not being alone.

[break][break]

[attr="class","textwttag"]BARNABY FINCH

[attr="class","textwtpokes"]

close tab

played by

Dove

Admin Bee

He / Him

April 12

Lumiose City, Kalos

Pansexual

Broadcast Journalist

Admin

6'0" / 183 cm height

i fell for your magic. i tasted your skin. and though this is tragic, at least i found the end.

awards

2,223 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @barnaby

POSTED ON Mar 18, 2022 2:51:23 GMT

Killian Decker, Martín del Mar, and 1 more like this

This was not their paradise on Earth. They were all-too human, persuaded by carnal desires and the sins of mortality. Wrath, lust, gluttony...

Greed.

"There are others, Martín. You said it was more than just you at the park today. Surely they can take up this mantle. Why do you..." He trailed off, becoming woefully quiet. Barnaby knew, painfully so, how selfish he sounded in that moment.

"Why does it have to be you..." Rather than a question to the admin, this was a shout into the void. Futile defiance against the thread of fate that ever-tightened like a noose around Martín del Mar .

Barnaby felt the firmness of Mars' grip, the fervency of his touch, the trust and vulnerability and conviction in his words. It sparked an ache in his heart like none other he'd felt before. It was terrifying. An unknown revealed among many unknowns tonight.

He didn't want to lose this feeling.

"...You're not alone anymore. Not if you don't want to be." Cobalt eyes met amber, gentle, questioning.

"...that I have a right to defy everything they have always wanted me to be..."

Barnaby's palm found the soft skin of Mars' cheek and, tenderly, his thumb stroked the flesh there. "You're fighting so hard, Martín... but for who? Who are they?"

Were they important enough to die over?

"Who are you trying to defy?"
Martín del Mar
☉

close tab

played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday

He/Him

August 4th

Canalave City, Sinnoh

Bi / Demiro

POG Bank CEO

Underboss

1008 height

Veni. Videre. Vincam.

awards

4,525 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Mar 19, 2022 0:00:05 GMT

Killian Decker, BARNABY FINCH, and 1 more like this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","textwt"]

[attr="class","textwtw"]

"Why does it have to be you..."
[break][break]
Selfish.
[break][break]
Mars knows without a doubt that if BARNABY FINCH had truly asked him this question and demanded an answer from him, the only one he would have been able to give is a selfish one. How could he ever allow anyone else to take up this mantle? How could he ever give this up? How could he hear greatness’ call and completely ignore the way it beckons him as if a siren’s ever-enchanting lullaby?
[break][break]
”Defy your fate”, Azelf had said. ”Become something more”, it had demanded. And, of course, Mars had accepted the demands of the legend. He had welcomed the chance with open arms. He had jumped at the opportunity. He had taken the leap because that is what he would have done even if Azelf hadn’t said all of this. As if he were one of those heroes in the epic poems his father loved reading to him back when he was a kid.
[break][break]
But, even back when he was a kid, Mars had known well that the heroes of the epics are destined for tragedies. That the blessings of the gods often become as toxic and poisonous overtime as curses laid upon their chosen, and that even in victory, a warrior’s hubris is often his undoing. Like Achilles, taking the path of eternal glory over a life long-lived. Like Herakles, driven mad when returning to his family.
[break][break]
Is he like them now? Is he not even worth that much? Will he die in this quest of his before even getting a taste of eternity? Before finding the answers he seeks?
[break][break]
It does not bode well, and he sinks deeper.
[break][break]
If only Mars had known Barnaby’s own selfish reasons to say all this.
[break][break]
"...You're not alone anymore. Not if you don't want to be."
[break][break]
He looks at him, at those cobalt eyes that are bright and beautiful even under dim lights, and his hand reaches up for Barnaby’s as if to confirm this fact. Not alone. Not right now. Or, is it really ‘not anymore’? The implications are too deep. One amongst many truths that lie hidden in the depths of the ocean in those beautiful cobalt eyes.
[break][break]
”...I don’t want to be alone.” Mars’ answer comes in a whisper, so quiet yet so raw, so pure – as true as if it had been spoken by his very soul. He has never wanted to be alone. Solitude is, admittedly, one of the things Martín del Mar fears the most. And, here is BARNABY FINCH, saving him from the haunting of the Pavor that is supposed to be his companion.
[break][break]
"You're fighting so hard, Martín... but for who? Who are they? Who are you trying to defy?"
[break][break]
Another fear being asked to come to light. One deeper, darker, truer, and that brings pain to the admin’s amber eyes. The fear that has motivated him since he was a child. The battle he has waged ever since his father died and he was forced to become like the people who had taken his life.
[break][break]
Who does he fight for? For the memory of his father? For that of his wife? For the son that he never got to meet? For revenge? For the child he once was and for the blissfully serene life that was stolen from him with a gunshot?
[break][break]
No. Those are many of the reasons, but they have never been the main motivation behind this war, because as always, Mars is a selfish man through and through.
[break][break]
”It’s for me, Barnaby.” Another truth revealed as he looks into cobalt eyes, conviction as clear in his whispered tone as it is in the way he stares at the man next to him. Conviction born of unspeakable suffering. ”I fight for myself… To be free.” He holds him close, he squeezes his hand, he speaks of the things most of the world will never hear about. This man, the one saying all of these things, is Martín Marzán. No façade.
[break][break]
”...Free from this blood that binds me.”
[break][break]
”Think bigger than the binds of blood,” Azelf had requested of him, and as it turns out, this is something which Mars has much more trouble with accepting. For, as much as he may deny it, this blood that binds him is one of the things that defines him.

[break][break]

[attr="class","textwttag"]BARNABY FINCH

[attr="class","textwtpokes"]

close tab

played by

Dove

Admin Bee

He / Him

April 12

Lumiose City, Kalos

Pansexual

Broadcast Journalist

Admin

6'0" / 183 cm height

i fell for your magic. i tasted your skin. and though this is tragic, at least i found the end.

awards

2,223 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @barnaby

POSTED ON Mar 21, 2022 2:50:30 GMT

Killian Decker, Martín del Mar, and 1 more like this

If only.

If only Mars had realized Barnaby's selfishness in all of this.

If only Barnaby understood the sad complexity of Mars' fate.

If only they could be completely, unabashedly honest with one another.

If only.

It would make Barnaby's next declaration that much more layered, that much more meaningful.

"Then you don't have to be. I'm here for you now, mon trésor." Spoken softly, yet his hand remained firm on Mars' cheek.

But why? What compelled him to make such a promise? To act so tenderly? To give comfort so easily?

In truth, Barnaby wasn't sure. The sentiment came from a guarded place deep within him... a vault that had started to form small cracks the second that elevator door slid open.

It was too muddled a thing to worry about in the moment. For now, he was simply speaking on instinct. No reservations, no calculations.

"It’s for me, Barnaby. I fight for myself… To be free.”

"To be free...?"

Free from what? Barnaby met Mars' pained gaze, locking eyes with him, searching, trying - desperately - to find understanding there.

"The blood that binds you?" He echoed quietly, uncomprehending. "Martín, please... explain."

For the second time tonight Barnaby gently touched foreheads with Martín del Mar. They were so close he could feel the warmth of the admin's breath on his lips.

"I want to understand." A pleading whisper from a man desperate for answers.
Martín del Mar
☉

close tab

played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday

He/Him

August 4th

Canalave City, Sinnoh

Bi / Demiro

POG Bank CEO

Underboss

1008 height

Veni. Videre. Vincam.

awards

4,525 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Mar 22, 2022 15:28:08 GMT

Killian Decker, BARNABY FINCH, and 1 more like this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","textwt"]

[attr="class","textwtw"]

For once, he chooses not to dive any deeper. Barnaby tells him he’s not alone anymore, that he’s here for him now, and Mars accepts his words for what they are – not searching for the hidden meaning behind them, nor questioning if they’re just being said out of something as despicable as pity or sympathy. He just floats on the surface; idly enjoying the gesture for what it is while ignoring whatever monsters may lurk in the depths of the ocean beneath. It’s nice. He could get used to this sort of feeling.
[break][break]
If only he were the sort of person who can always look at things superficially.
[break][break]
”I know. I’m here for you too, Barnaby.”
[break][break]
A whispered response and he’s pulled in. Deep, deeper, for there’s nothing superficial about those words and Mars knows it. What exactly do they mean? He’s not sure and he’s in no condition to search for the answer, but self-awareness is a powerful thing, and in this self-awareness, Mars knows there’s only a handful of people in this world who he cares enough for to say things like these and mean them. When had BARNABY FINCH become one of them? Is it because of everything he has done tonight, or did it happen before and Mars himself didn’t realise it until now?
[break][break]
Once more, he pushes against the need to dive, but how can he fight something that seems to be as if part of his very nature? Something that may have just been etched into his very soul the moment he came to existence?
[break][break]
Dwell in the depths and those who are closer to the surface will never understand what your existence is like.
[break][break]
Just like how BARNABY FINCH desperately begs for an explanation to something that is so obvious and fundamental to Mars. The blood that binds him. His blood. The blood of the Marzáns.
[break][break]
Has he taken a page out of the Guardians’ book and chosen to speak in cryptic ways and riddles too? No, it’s just that he doesn’t wish to use that word when speaking of them. The one that, when giving Barnaby his answer, is said quietly – as if it were a struggle to even utter it. As if he were terrified of saying it.
[break][break]
”My family.”
[break][break]
They’re not his family.
[break][break]
His parents had been family, but because of the Marzáns, his memories of them are distant, blurred, and blood-stained. Pace Mahmoud had been family, and it had been because of the Marzáns that Pace turned his back on those he cherished to save himself. Natalia had been family, and the Marzáns had taken her from him in the most painful way. His son had been family, and because of the Marzáns, that sweet child never even got to see this world or meet his father.
[break][break]
Martín del Mar no longer has any family. All he has are chains.

[break][break]

[attr="class","textwttag"]BARNABY FINCH

[attr="class","textwtpokes"]

close tab

played by

Dove

Admin Bee

He / Him

April 12

Lumiose City, Kalos

Pansexual

Broadcast Journalist

Admin

6'0" / 183 cm height

i fell for your magic. i tasted your skin. and though this is tragic, at least i found the end.

awards

2,223 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @barnaby

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2022 0:08:49 GMT

Killian Decker, Martín del Mar, and 1 more like this

"My family.”

Ah.

Nothing more needed to be said. No clarification, no further explanation.

"I understand." Not holistically, of course. He wasn't privy to the depth of the Marzáns' cruelty and depravity. But Barnaby knew well the desire to break free from familial bonds.

It was something he also wrestled with.

"Come here." A soft, beckoning request as Barnaby straightened up and leaned back against the headboard. He positioned himself in such a way that made it an easy feat for Mars to lay on him, if only for a little bit.

Once the admin's comforting weight pressed on Barnaby's chest, a hand was raised to idly stroke his auburn hair. Slow, gentle, soothing passes.

"Do you want to know why I like you, Martín?" Barnaby asked, quietly.
Martín del Mar
☉

close tab

played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday

He/Him

August 4th

Canalave City, Sinnoh

Bi / Demiro

POG Bank CEO

Underboss

1008 height

Veni. Videre. Vincam.

awards

4,525 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2022 4:14:57 GMT

BARNABY FINCH likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","textwt"]

[attr="class","textwtw"]

The lack of questions is welcomed, because if Barnaby had dared to push further, if he had asked, Mars is not sure if he would have been able to reply. He wouldn’t have wanted to reply. None of these things are the type that he would usually share, and the truth about his family is–… Well, he wouldn’t want to burden BARNABY FINCH with all of that. The last time he had shared it with someone, they hadn’t really cared.
[break][break]
Barnaby says he understands, and for a second, Mars wishes to tell him he’s wrong; that there’s no way he could know how deep this wound is for how long it has existed within his heart. But, instead of doing so, he listens, and when told to come closer, he complies. Barnaby says, Mars does.
[break][break]
Shifting, he makes it so he can rest his head on the chest of the man next to him, and quietly, in the silence of the night, Mars allows for the sound of Barnaby’s heartbeat to be the only thing that matters. He welcomes it, he cherishes it, he commits it to memory. A sound soon joined by that of a question.
[break][break]
”Do you want to know why I like you, Martín?”
[break][break]
If things were as they usually are, he would smirk and have the wit to come up with a response all too quickly – one said proudly and playfully, with the full confidence of someone who completely believes what he’s saying. And, he would actually believe it all; he would know it to the true as if it were unquestionable.
[break][break]
Because I’m me. Because I’m the best person you’ve ever met. Because I'm smart. Because I'm successful. Because I’m handsome. Because I’m charming. Because I’m perfect.
[break][break]
No response like that comes to mind this time. Mars draws a blank. So, in a whispered tone, as he closes his eyes to enjoy the feeling of Barnaby’s fingers combing through his hair, all he can do is ask:
[break][break]
”Why?”
[break][break]
'Why would you ever like someone like me, Barnaby?'

[break][break]

[attr="class","textwttag"]BARNABY FINCH

[attr="class","textwtpokes"]

close tab

played by

Dove

Admin Bee

He / Him

April 12

Lumiose City, Kalos

Pansexual

Broadcast Journalist

Admin

6'0" / 183 cm height

i fell for your magic. i tasted your skin. and though this is tragic, at least i found the end.

awards

2,223 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @barnaby