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A promise to stay. When was the last time someone had promised him something like that? Mars remembers it well, but the memories are unwelcome when they come: thoughts of vows exchanged, of the ring that’s now worn as if a pendant being put on his finger by her delicate hands.
Until death do us part. Oh how cruel were the things they had said on the day he had once thought to be the happiest of his life.
[break][break]
These are the thoughts that cross his mind while Barnaby removes piece after piece of clothing in a way that’s all too careful and methodical. Golden cufflinks, keystone bearing tie pin, silk tie being undone, and button after button, blood-stained shirt sliding off his shoulders and leaving behind marks. He’s silent.
He hates it, because Mars has never been bothered by the idea of undressing, he has adored his own body and put it on display whenever he feels like doing as much, and yet here, as
BARNABY FINCH reveals what lies beneath the traces left behind by the pain suffered only hours earlier, he feels
vulnerable in a way he cannot even describe.
[break][break]
How can Barnaby not hate him for this?
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Why is he still being so kind and talking to him so sweetly?
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Why is it so reassuring to be holding his hand once more, even if it's just for the sake of being led into the next room?
[break][break]
”...Thanks.” Mars feels like a child, and perhaps it’s his own hatred for this feeling that leads him to – while hesitant – let go once they make it into the bathroom. The rest of his clothes are removed, and it’s on cold tiles that he soon steps, turning to look at Barnaby once again…
[break][break]
He sighs.
[break][break]
Steam rises as water warms up, droplets coming crashing down and splattering tiles. They fall onto his body as well, becoming tainted by the dry blood that clings to him and dripping in miniature streams formed on his skin. Mars cares little for it, he just looks at
BARNABY FINCH. At those cobalt eyes that, at this very moment, bring back a long forgotten memory…
[break][break]
O’ Ares,[break]
O’ Mars,[break]
O’ Child of War…
[break]
”...You don’t have to do all this for me, you know?” He doesn’t have to, but he is, and Mars is so glad that he is. That he’s here. That he’s with him.
That he cares for him. All of those feelings and more are perhaps expressed in the faint but honest smile the admin gives him – one weak, one tired, one that takes effort to give, but still one that he means.
”...You don’t have to worry about me. I will be fine.”[break][break]
Will he really? How can he say those things, when he doesn’t currently believe them…
[break][break]
Does every flower your hands touch die?[break]
Does every seed you sow perish?[break]
Do your ears bleed, does your head [break]
ache with the sound of war drums?[break]
Are your knuckles bloody, bruised, and broken?[break]
Is your throat cracked and dry from the fighting,[break]
the running, and the war cries?
[break]
He leans back on the wall behind him, caring little for how cold the tiles are in contrast with the warmth of the water. No,
he’s not fine. He might never be fine.
Martín del Mar hasn’t been ‘fine’ for the grand majority of his life. He always fought despite that, he always pushed forward, overcoming all pain and hardship.
[break][break]
Is this your last battle?[break]
Will you lay down your sword, [break]
commit yourself to this dry earth, [break]
this lifeless soil in marriage [break]
‘til Death do you part?
[break]
Will you, Mars?[break][break]
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