"Mythology! Excellent! That's a wonderful place to begin a blossoming love with the field of archaeology!" Howard beamed at Josh with a grin. "Though I'll confess, mythology classes love to gloss over the intricacies in exchange for spectacle. Stories are interesting. Digging up records of them in a language that nobody can read is not for everyone." Howard said these things, unknowing that Josh himself knew that mythology was not as bright as the stories made it seem.

Stories were told, generation after generation, warped and twisted so that a new group of people would find interest in them. This often required embellishment. Myths were meant to entice, to seduce. Archaeology was the cold and hard dissection of separating truth from fiction. In a way, it was the systemic demystification of the old. Except for when it only led to knew questions.

Which was most of the time.

"Sounds like a great way to lose our Unovan lunches if you ask me. I'll be hurling so far you'll see it from Kanto." Howard shuddered.

"Hydreigons are dangerous little buggers, that's for sure. There's a lot to do. We live in a dangerous time, but opportunities come knocking all the same." Howard had a vision of Shirley, Blitz, and Saber dressed in bows and top hats dancing to whatever was playing on the Mauville Radio Channel 32: The PLUSLE. He shuddered and crushed the image from his mind. "Yeah, the Great Bow—I mean, the Great Desert—is one of my favorite places to dig in. The sand dunes should be shifting soon, as well. I'm really hoping to find a few complete fossils as the sands shift."

For a moment, the discussion tailed off as the trials began. The speed and complexity of the turns was enticing, but the technical skill was something that Howard himself began to appreciate, especially since he almost faceplanted into a corner store on Blitz.

"Yes, that sounds incredible. I'll visit every ruin in Hoenn. Adventure never stops!" Howard trembled in a mixture of excitement and anticipation. He also knew that if he didn't bring anything back for Team Rocket, they would be pissed.

---

Josh Devlin

Of course, nothing was as glorious as it seemed. Even a life as a semi-pro Pokémon Racer came with the grind of getting not only himself, but his Pokémon, into top shape. Turning that career into a concept for a Pokémon Gym allowed him to enjoy it a lot more rather than stress about the quality of his life being directly related to his performance as an athlete.

"Catching so many Pokémon is part of running Mauville Gym," Josh explained as Howard clearly had a different idea of being adventurous than Josh did. Motion sickness was a very real danger while aboard a Pokémon, particularly a very agile one. "When a challenger signs up to race me, I prefer to use a Pokémon of the same species, if I have one. If you were to bring an Arcanine, I would race you using an Arcanine, for instance."

Josh laughed hysterically at Howard's slip of the tongue. "Sorry about that - I don't know why I found that so funny. You must have recently watched a Contest or something. I tried doing one last time I was in Hoenn, and just couldn't get into them." The Great Desert, when weather conditions were right, was one of Josh's favorite playgrounds, as well. "When it isn't windy there, the desert is a great place to go riding, too. It's so wide open. You can go as fast as you want without a care in the world." Faster than the speed of sound, even, the Z-Move Josh discovered being evidence of that.

"Perfect! Then we can set a date to head out there. Since it's so far, it might be better for both of us if I teach you how to ride beforehand." Before he could continue, their server returned with the duo's entrees. "These half-pounders are so big. Good thing I'm hungry!" He was about to spread a thin layer of ketchup on the underside of the top half of his bun when he noticed it was already covered in barbecue sauce. "Like I said, pick a date and I'll make it work. I have a flexible work schedule, so long as I get my hours in."

"It's fine. Laughter is better than an awkward silence as you stare at me." Howard pointed a fork at Josh with a smirk. He felt his respect for the Gym Leader grow slightly as he claimed to play on equal grounds as his opponents. That was rare. "Contests are weird. I knew a guy in college who did them on the side..."

The images of dancing Shirleys invaded Howard's mind again. He crushed the thought and left it to die before he broke down into hysterics and let his tongue slip again. If he did, the fork would likely fly and hit Josh in the eye. "It's hard work, definitely. In the same way that racing is. It's just not for people like us. I'm more into magic shows, y'know? I saw this illusionist in Slateport, once, and he was incredible."

Howard's cheesesteak was excellent, though he risked the classic blunder of filling up on sides instead of eating the main course. It was a tale as old as time, and it ultimately ended with a sheepish request to take the remainder to go as the waiter silently judged you. Howard wanted to avoid being that guy. Especially in front of Josh, who had recommended the place to begin with.

He really didn't want to tell Josh about the full-pounders they served in Castelia and Nimbasa. Unovans really could eat.

"Excellent. My work schedule is pretty flexible while I'm in town. Once I'm out?" Howard grimaced and zipped his lips. A clear enough indicator: catch me if you can. "I could trek across the entire desert if need be. If I'm going with you, then I suppose you're right. It's time to learn how to ride Pokémon."

"Tell you what." Howard leaned back in his chair. "Would you be willing to exchange contact information with me? That way, we can keep in touch easier. I'm not worried about finding you. You're pretty hard to miss. It's just that I'm impossible to find once I have a goal set in mind. Unless you can check every route in Hoenn, that is."

---

Josh Devlin

"Contests aren't weird," Josh tried to reassure Howard, though it may have come off as condescending. "I like to think of a race as an unorthodox Pokémon contest. The Silph Cup gives out Cool Contest Ribbons to contest winners, after all!" The young man's lightning reflexes kept him from being struck in the eye, though the flat of the fork did strike the side of his head. "...I'll be right back." He pushed in his chair and headed to the restroom to get the impact area cleaned up before returning. If Howard wanted to steal one of his waffle fries while he was gone, he likely would not have noticed.

By the time Howard had asked Josh to exchange information, he had already downed about half his food. He was really hungry, indeed! "Sure thing! Once we're done eating, we can do just that. We seem to have a lot of common interests." As he was finishing, his eyes drifted back toward the television, an Arcanine slide around corners with precision that would have made Braver jealous. "It's unreal what those pros can do with a Pokémon like Arcanine. They're lauded for their speed, but their handling is among the worst of Pokémon on land. It takes a lot of strength to get them to turn."

Josh smiled when Howard agreed with him. "It's a skill that will see you well no matter what you do," he nodded. "It might not be a bad idea for us to go hunting for a Pokémon big enough and strong enough for you to use as a mount yourself. I've always recommended to people to get a Pokémon that can ferry you over land, another over sea, and a third in the air."

"Oh god, I am SO sorry Josh!" Howard fumbled and apologized to the man as Josh left to recover from the hardhanded strike of fork against skull. Hopefully the Gym Leader didn't elect to sue him. League representatives had to have the greatest legal teams in existence. Josh seemed far too reasonable to let that get in the way, though. With Josh gone, though, his plate remained unattended.

Eat me. A fry whispered in Howard's mind as the archaeologist began envisioning legal fees.

"Still no." Howard muttered to himself.

Please?

"Fine." Howard gave in with little relent as he reached over and grasped at Josh's hard-earned fries. This is just additional payment for the rescue mission. Howard justified to himself, before feeling the crippling guilt creep in. After stealing a few fries, Howard relented and prayed to the powers above that Josh Devlin, brilliant battler and racer, wouldn't notice that his waffle fries had been pillaged.

When Josh sat back down, Howard tried as hard as possible to look natural as he turned back to the Time Trials. As they traded information, Howard held his device like an ancient artifact. I have a Gym Leader on my contact list. Howard thought to himself.

"Three?" Howard looked at Josh as if the man was joking. That was a lot of food... He didn't own anything he could ride on, as well. Shirley got jealous easily, too. Riding was a big commitment. "Each Pokémon I own has been raised to help me out on the field." He told Josh hesitantly, as if it was even remotely a good excuse. Howard turned back to the television.

"I-I guess that makes sense..." Howard envisioned himself sleeping on an Arcanine for a moment. Hopefully he didn't look too foolish in front of Josh. "It's a shame, too. They're so fluffy!" Howard sighed pensively as the thought of sleeping on an Arcanine left him. "Sounds like you're speaking from experience, though. Been steering Arcanines, Josh?"

"Yep, three!" Josh quipped with a cracking voice. "One for land, one for sea, and one for sky, like I said. I can give you some recommendations for beginner-friendly sea and sky Pokémon if you'd like. They can be multipurpose, too! A ride Pokémon can be helpful out in the wilderness in more ways than just being a mount." He had learned that from experience; some of his Ranger tickets could have handled much more smoothly had he brought the correct Pokémon. "Blitz's ability to see through walls can be really helpful. Knowing if there's something horrible waiting around a corner can be the difference between coming out unscathed and getting badly hurt."

He took a break to finish most of the rest of his meal before answering Howard's next question. "I have a pair of Arcanine at my Gym! They're among my fastest Pokémon in straight line sprints. I'll have to show you Braver and Craggro some time, but I can't recommend an Arcanine to a beginner. Not unless you like being overwhelmed when they use their Extreme Speed while you're on one, anyway," he chuckled. "When you're more experienced, though, there's nothing like riding a Pokémon while it's using Extreme Speed. It's a shame so few Pokémon can use it..."

"Three... mounts..." Howard said as he continued to punch the numbers on the possible additions to his party. His budget was practically begging to be brought out back and shot. After a moment, Howard snapped his fingers and beamed at Josh. "I have a solution!"

"I will simply eat every four days so I can afford to keep them!" Howard was so proud of his solution that he was practically glowing. Skipping meals wasn't that hard. He had done it in university. Except instead of skipping eating every other day, he was now electing to skip over half of a week.

This can work! The finished cheesesteak matched Josh's finished hamburger. Well, it would be his last meal for four days starting now.

"That could be fun! I've only been to Rustboro's Gym once during university. Two Arcanines? I had you pegged as a dog person, Josh. How fluffy are they?" Howard lowered his voice into a conspiratorial whisper. "Frankly, I'm glad only a few can learn Extreme Speed. Could you imagine getting hit in the gut by something using Extreme Speed? Quick Attack already stings."

With a finger snap, Howard got their waiter's attention. He raised an eyebrow at Josh. "Desert?"

---

Josh Devlin

Josh at first laughed, even scoffed at Howard's solution. "You don't even need to do that! You could just get a good paying job. Mauville Racing Grounds is still hiring, you know! Even if you don't have the qualifications to be a Gym trainer, we have plenty of other positions in tech, maintenance, and various desk jobs. If you've got the right skills, I could get you in." He stopped to finish his plate. "Just don't starve yourself. You don't have to do that, and I wouldn't recommend it, either."

The whisper and sudden shift in the conversation took Josh off guard. "I'm... actually more of a cat person than a dog person," he admitted. "I'll raise just about anything that can carry a person and run fast, though." Howard's very point about Extreme Speed is what made Josh's Gym challenge so difficult for most to overcome. In battle, tracking the ultrafast moves was almost impossible for those not trained in that kind of speed. In his racing challenge, the trainer's grit was often tested more than that of the Pokémon, many challengers at a disadvantage from recognizing their inability to boost without losing their lunch from the intense speed the Pokémon reached.

Josh politely declined the offer of dessert. "Nah, that filled me up." He turned his head toward the waiter. "Separate checks, if you would, please." Returning with their tabs, they were about what Josh expected: affordable, but an amount ones from the lower class would only be comfortable paying for special occasions. "If you've got the skills for it, at least give the offer some thought."

"I-I have a job!" Howard sputtered indignantly as his hat threatened to fall off his head. The archaeologist elected to ignore the word 'well paying' in order to salvage some manner of dignity. "I have a ton of degrees! Several! Dozens!"

God, did Josh think he was some sort of homeless degenerate? Was this the ending to the story of Howard Slayte, archaeologist and adventurer extraordinaire? Howard had two jobs: being Team Rocket's punching bag and paying off his student loans. Granted, the latter paid him negative money, but it still counted as a job!

Right?

"No!" Howard exclaimed in a conspiratorial whisper. He latched onto Josh's confession like a drowning man latched onto a piece of driftwood. "Do your Arcanines know? Are you leading them on? Josh, you fiend." Howard laughed good-naturedly, before checking his watch.

Howard paid his check with the expression of a man marching off to war. He checked his wallet after paying. Empty. Hopefully he could scrounge up some change on the road.

"I'll think about it. That's all, though. Because I have a well-paying job, and don't struggle with money. Absolutely not. Not me, no sir!"

---

Josh Devlin

When Howard mentioned he had many degrees, Josh frowned. Higher education was such a scam. He once saw a Johtonian company recruiting for a network administrator, the job description requesting seven years of experience maintaining IPv8 networks. IPv8 had been around for less than three years. To get a job requiring a degree, you also needed experience. To get experience, you needed a degree. It was the most basic catch-22 of all time.

"Take it from me, as someone who has HR duties at his gym. All the degrees in the world don't mean jack all without experience. Degrees don't get you a good-paying job. Connections do. What all do you have degrees in? If you're this well-educated, I'm sure you'll have no problem sliding into Mauville Racing Grounds."

Josh was no stranger to guilt and these kinds of attacks. He remained staunch in his answer as he led Howard to the exit after leaving his payment with a modest tip. It wasn't as much as he used to tip, but he had to have a tighter wallet until he was welcome at his Gym again. "You misunderstand. I care deeply for every Pokémon I raise. And being a Gym Leader, I have a lot. More than six."

With their checks paid, Josh led Howard outside, bringing his Manectric and Luxray out once more. He climbed aboard the Electric-type and beckoned Howard to hop on Blitz again. "Your hotel's not far south from here. It's got an entrance on the skyway level, so we won't have to go back down to street level. Let's ride." The shiny feline crouched to let Howard aboard easily. Provided he was willing to hop on, the two electric-types would run toward the hotel within municipal speed limits.

It would not take long for them to arrive, catching good luck with traffic lights. "Alright, this is where we part ways for now. It was nice meeting you, Howard. Once you're ready, give me a text. I'll come back to pick you up, and we'll go to 112." With that, he waited for Howard to slide down the Luxray's back before taking off to the north again.

"Degrees are absolute shams, yes." Howard said, waving his hand in a way that expressed that he had realized this years ago. "I went into it for the experience. Rustboro University is known for hosting digs and expeditions, so I went there to learn about it. My main degree is in geology, with a specialty in archaeology. I speak a dozen languages—half of them dead—plus an anthropology degree."

"Man, you should've seen my house during the last year." Howard trailed off as he experienced the most traumatic thing in his entire life: crunch time. Josh snapped him out of it with his ride offer.

"AAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Howard's screams echoed through Mauville as Josh led him there. This time, he didn't vomit. Truly, he was moving up the ladder of riding fluffy critters. After a few moments to catch his breath, he looked at his hotel. It was a cheapskate hotel, but it had free breakfast.

Howard did love pancakes.

Sliding off Blitz, Howard tipped his cap back to Josh. Aye, Thanks a bunch. I'll let you know as soon as I'm ready." The two went off in separate directions, and Howard checked in with a smirk on his face. This almost made up for the bus ride.

Almost.

---

Josh Devlin