Man. You've missed this.

Sure, Howard's great, and Grigori's reliable and all, and you've done plenty of good work with the others too, but Zev? You love Zev. What's not to love? He does most of the heavy lifting, he's not afraid to get his hands dirty, and he's in permanent bad-cop mode, which means you get to be the good-cop for once.

Course, you're not exactly doing much copping today. No, today, you're hunting Paradox Pokemon. Rare ones, if reports were to be believed, ones that had never been seen before. That's a tempting prospect, isn't it? If you could get your hands on them...

"Haven't seen anything yet!"
"Gli Gliscor!"

...Well, you suppose finding them is the first problem. If his Noctowl hasn't found one yet, and your Gliscor hasn't found one yet, then they probably aren't anywhere nearby. You're getting the sense that this is going to be like searching for a needle in a haystack, except the haystick is several miles long, a few thousand leagues deep, and the needle can move as it pleases. Fuck, they sure don't make catching these bastards easier, do they? This is going to be a pain in the ass.

"Do these things even drink water?" You muse aloud as you follow after your fellow Beast, keeping an eye out for anything unusual along the way. Of course, given your locale, that's most things, but you're learning to filter the wheat from the chaff as you go. "Far as I know, they manifest out of Tera Crystals or Interdream Mist or something. Wouldn't they be sustained by, like, belief?"

---

Zev Harcourt
WHs7eE2m

"FUCKIN' HELL--"

As the Shock Wave surges towards you, you immediately fling yourself to the side, crashing hard into the ground to avoid the electricity. Yet despite your successful dodge, you still find yourself in pain. Hitting the dirt feels like getting hit by a car and getting left to rot on the tarmac. Despite your attempts to pretend otherwise, your injuries are no joke. It's a struggle to bring yourself back up to your feet, but you're still a Beast, so you still manage.

And what you see when you get back to your feet is, well... It's hard to describe. The towering Paradox Pokemon looks down on you from up high, a mane of dark clouds cresting its head. Its mere presence here causes lightning to crackle in the air as though you're standing in a thunderstorm. It's a pure and primal beast, and looking upon it, only one thought comes to mind.

"It's so long."

It's probably a thought better left unverbalised. After all, saying it makes you sound like a six year old at the zoo looking at a Girafarig. It's true, though! It is SO long. It's probably the longest thing you've ever seen, and you've seen some long things in your time.

And you want one more than you want anything else in the world.

"Gliscor! Get him! ...Gliscor? GLISCOR!" You call out again and again, only to be greeted by silence each time. Where'd he go? Then, you glance towards the dense canopy overhead, and you connect the dots. Shit, can he not see you? Shit, then does that mean Zev's Noctowl can't see him, either? Shiiiiiiiiiit. Alright, that's a problem, but it's not the end of the world. After all, the towering beast doesn't seem to be doing anything at the moment. After it's last Shock Wave, it's just standing there, quietly observing you as the electricity that surrounds it grows thicker and thicker and... Wait... "Shit, is it Charging?!"

You're not going to wait for an answer to that question. Instead, you rip your gun out from your jacket as fast as you can and hammer the trigger, firing a barrage straight up. Each one accompanied by a loud BANG, each one effortlessly piercing through the treetops and flying into the sky above. Then, as soon as the bullets stop and the clicks start, you call out again.

"GLISCOR, YOU DUMB FUCK, HURRY UP AND GET HERE!"

---

Zev Harcourt
3wSCigLl

You're barely back up to your feet before you have to hit the ground again, and the second time isn't any better than the first. It feels like the car that just hit you is doubling back to finish the job. As you struggle to your feet for the second time in the last minute, you let out a groan, one of equal parts agony and frustration.

You'd fucking kill for a painkiller right about now.

Pushing that craving aside for the moment, you review the current situation: Zev's seemingly able to counteract the paradox's electricity, but doing so has really pissed it off. Even with all his crystal shit going on, you doubt he could take more than a few direct hits from it. And you? You can neither counteract electricity nor take even a single hit. But this? This is your chance. It's distracted now, trying to crush your fellow Beast beneath its foot. If there were ever an opening for you take advantage of, it was now.

You glance up to the treetops, then to the Raging Bolt. Alright. Here goes nothing.

"GLISCOR, POISON STING!"

There's a pause. Then, it stretches on. It reaches a point where you're starting to worry if Zev's Noctowl got sick of having Gliscor around and killed her while you were both distracted. But then, finally, a shadow descends through the canopy of leaves and a glowing stinger stabs into the hind legs of the long-necked menace.

"Got him!"

The Raging Bolt roars out in pain as the venom pours into its body, thrashing about in an attempt to force the scorpion away. It tries to Discharge again, but against the Ground typing of Gliscor, it's a fruitless effort. Now all of a sudden, you're the one who has the beast's attention, and Zev is the one with an opening.

Here's hoping he makes good use of it, or you might be fucked.

---

Zev Harcourt
VeaQPJob

Zev's Noctowl follows up, hitting the dragon with a powerful Moonblast while it's still vulnerable. The super-effective attack, combined with the numbing bite of the poison, is enough to send it staggering back, smashing and slamming into the dense forest around it. Finally, you've managed to turn the tables, and now, the predator has become the prey.

And Zev's just said exactly what you were thinking.

"Got it." You nod, plucking an empty Pokeball off your belt as you size up the Raging Bolt. It's tricky to tell, what with it being a Paradox Pokemon and all, but... "Two more good hits ought to do it."

So you better make them two damn good hits.

As the Raging Bolt's attention once again switches to Noctowl, Gliscor darts forth, a closed pincer delivering a Sky Uppercut straight to the jaw of the anomaly. As it's busy reeling from the force of the blow, you pitch a slowball. With any luck, the Pokeball'll hit the thing the instant after Zev's attack lands, and you'll have yourself a captured... Well, you're not sure what you're supposed to call it, but you're sure you'll find out.

---

Zev Harcourt
SQewsLy_
TOTAL: 494.

After three stressful wobbles and one relieving click, the Pokeball stopped moving. You were now the proud(?) owner of a Raging Bolt.

You're not quite sure how to react to that, to be honest. Part of you wants to breathe a sigh of relief, another wants you to let out a scream of joy, and the last wants you collapse to the ground and sleep for twelve hours. In the end, you settle for a fist pump and a quiet "fuck yeah" as you step forth and scoop the Pokeball off the ground.

You take a moment to revel in your success. Feels good to have a win for once. Then, you hook the Pokeball to your belt and look back to Zev.

"Yeah, I need to not be conscious when this adrenaline wears off." You agree, turning back the way you came as you eye the long walk back to base. "Let's get out of here."

---

Zev Harcourt
|krSeoM4