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Fern hums, face twisting in a look of serious contemplation. “There’s target shooting…goldfish scooping…and balloon darts? And that’s just a few of them.” They shrug, looking up at him cluelessly. It’s his pick.[break][break]

In the time it takes, though, as they stand there with hands tangled together, it gives them the pause to think. Maybe it could even be called daydreaming. Thoughts usually better left staying inside their head.[break][break]

But they feel comfortable enough with him, and he’s the driving force behind it, so as they twirl the skewer between their fingers they find themself blurting out the question.[break][break]

“—Do you ever wonder what it would be like if our lives were like this every day?” Fern doesn’t sound sad when they ask, it’s more absentminded than wistful, but they don’t look at him either.[break][break]

Instead, their brows furrow as they fixate on one of the game stalls with its strung lights and overstuffed prizes. Not just stolen moments like this one tonight, but all of the time.[break][break]

Fern’s never been one to wish for normal. In all likelihood, they think they’d grow restless and bored without much excitement. But sometimes they wonder. If it would be nice, if they would be happy. And they think yes, they really might.[break][break]

But it’s only ever when Jayden is right there alongside them.

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It takes all of ten seconds for fern to clock the fact that jayden cross has not a single clue what they mean when they call Walsh daddy, but it only amuses them. They lean into his side as they scroll through then following dialogue, and the predominantly morbid choices that come along with it. Oof.[break][break]

It’s admittedly not what Fern would actually choose to do. Instead, they’d probably force them into Rocket, or hold them until they felt they’d gleaned every use possible. But given the notice of the time and place, this seems like the more “appealing” answer for Walsh.[break][break]

I should execute him.

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Fern shakes their head. “No, you don’t get it! I couldn’t. I-“ They swallow the words that crowd their throat. Words he brushed the surface of in recent conversation with THEO BECKETT, but can’t manage to say aloud. Not like this. Not when everything is so corroded and twisted from the normal warmth they know when they’re with Jayden.[break][break]

It’s just another fear that manipulates their frustrations. Their nose wrinkles in distaste as their insult is rebutted. “Why shouldn’t I? He’s buried in the dirt and I still hate him.” There’s something savage in their voice, unlike the normal lightness they carry in their presence. They hate.[break][break]

There is more to add. How Jayden is their’s and not his father’s any longer. But they can’t get the words out as Jayden steps back, pulling from their grasp. Too far back. So far that their heart jolts painfully, dispelling some of the fog in their mind for a few, precious seconds.[break][break]

No. Nononononono.[break][break]

They’re not watching this happen, they’re not going to stand there helplessly as the person they can’t stand to lose most pitches down to an unknown end.[break][break]

“MICHAIL,” it’s a cry that crawls up their throat and cuts through the fog—alerting their gengar to trouble. Behind the scene they set, her megastone flares with light where it’s tied to one wrist on a bracelet.[break][break]

She hovers, vanishing into a shadowed opening to reappear below the cliff’s edge, but they’re not paying attention to this.[break][break]

Fern lurches forward as Jayden slips back. But their fingers miss hooking into the front of his shirt. Gravity and momentum carries them until they propel themself straight after him.[break][break]

And then they latch on, eyes squeezing shut, and refuse to let go.

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Their eyes go wide as they stare at him, biting down on their lip until pain sparks behind their eyes and grounds them before their thoughts can run away with them.[break][break]

“Yes, of course that’s the worst!” they still manage to snap back as something pitiful claws up their throat. “Do you think I could live with myself if that happened? If I couldn’t—“[break][break]

save you?[break][break]

Inadequacy coils through them, wrapping tight around their bones and burrowing deep. The same helplessness when Ceci was thrown from the cliff. The same as he sat by Marza Volchitsa alone in their darkened house as she failed to wake up.[break][break]

The idea of something similar happening here, now, because Jayden refused to step away from something brews furious desperation in their mind. A tempest of too many emotions to track.[break][break]

“No, you are your own person. Fuck your father, and the you haven’t made your own ground to stand on.”[break][break]

They continue to grapple with him, even though their footing now feels wobbly. They just want to sink down to their knees and curl up. But the ache in their wrists where he’s clamped them reminds them that they can’t.[break][break]

“What if I what? I just want to look after you! That’s all I want to do—is that so wrong?”[break][break]

It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make one single bit of sense. Their mind whirs, too fast to keep up with.[break][break]

“Why can’t we leave together? Look at what this place is doing.”

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They push a hand through their hair. Condensation from the mist dampens it. Makes it unruly as their hand falls back down. A disbelieving laugh creeps up their throat.[break][break]

“Do you have that little regard for yourself? This is a holding place for all sorts of spirits, and you’re wide open right now, you’re so exhausted. So yeah. The worst can happen.”[break][break]

Fern can conjure up plenty of things in their active imagination. All of them horrible.[break][break]

Like a loose thread in a sweater, it all unspools at their feet in heaps. Something ugly and aching pits in their stomach. A desire to hide flares up. But they’ve come too far now to back off of their point, even if that initial concern has been warped beyond recognition. “I never said I was leaving without you. Stop putting words in my mouth!”[break][break]

Vice grips curl around his wrists, eliciting a pained hiss, but rather than release his hold as he once did before, Fern only grabs tighter. Fingernails with chipped varnish snag in the other’s jacket fabric and he digs his heels in, trying to push harder. “Why won’t you get in the stupid tent?”[break][break]

Their voice pitches higher, matching the frantic energy of the moment set in place. “Why not?” The question borders on a wail. “It’s clearly not doing you any good right now.” Or them. This place isn’t right.[break][break]

Surely Fern isn’t the only one to see that.[break][break]

“Who? Who’s left? There’s no one here but us. I don’t know what you’re talking about! None of it makes sense, Michail.” Their vision blurs worse as tension builds, their nose tingles. The warning precursor to crying.

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Fern frowns. “Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said? No, I told you it felt like a bad idea. I wanted us to turn around and go back.”[break][break]

Us. We.[break][break]

His words make them wince, flinching back as each syllable stings deep under their skin. “You…want me to leave without you?”

It’s a thought that hadn’t once crossed their mind, and uncertainty roots itself in their mind. How can he speak so calmly in a moment like this? Fern, with their temper gone, is reduced to shouts that get swallowed up in the thick of the fog.[break][break]

Frustration and hurt feeding whatever force it is residing in the otherworldly plane.[break][break]

Fern sucks in a sharp breath. The sound is audibly shaky as their eyes burn and their vision begins to blur ever so slightly. “You! You’re keeping us here.”[break][break]

Their hands ball into trembling fists at their sides. Their face feels hot and flushed despite the chill of the smothering mist. “You’re missing the point entirely, and it’s driving me mad!”[break][break]

They mirror the same raw pain, but they don’t try to leave him there. That would be defeating the whole purpose. Instead, they step closer. Hands find his upper arms as Fern tries to steer him to the tent instead.

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Each resistance stings them. Why isn’t what they say or do good enough? Why isn’t it acceptable? Does he think Fern is really so incapable of watching him to keep him safe?[break][break]

It’s a grudge that burrows itself deep in the center of their chest.[break][break]

Their eyes snap back to him, stormy, as they propel themself up and closer. “No, you’re not. If you were, we wouldn’t even still be here!”[break][break]

Under the outburst, there’s trembling panic. They’re out of line, they’re messing this up. He’s running himself into the ground and they’re scared.[break][break]

Faced with conflated fear, Fern warps into someone who they don’t wholly recognize. It’s an emotion of theirs that they’ve never grappled with well and it turns them sour and mean.[break][break]

If they had the distance they needed from this place, they’d recognize the familiarity and extremity of these emotions. How they felt it before the day the world was supposed to end, but didn’t. When they were high in the sky and shadows streaked across the landscape.[break][break]

But they’re both mired in it now.

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Dismay flits through Fern’s expression. There is immediate regret for losing their temper and shouting. But also equal parts frustration as he continues to deny their wish for him to rest.[break][break]

Because setting up shop on a boulder is the complete opposite.[break][break]

They shake their head adamantly. “No, the point of keeping a lookout is so that you can sleep.”[break][break]

To emphasize, they point at him, and then over at the currently empty tent. Resentment bubbles under their skin in a noxious brew.[break][break]

Their next words are bitter, muttered as they look away. “Don't know why you won’t just listen to me.” Does he not take them seriously? Is that it?

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One brow arches slightly as they survey him, teasingly. “Someone’s terribly curious.”[break][break]

Fern ponders the question regardless. What does it feel like? How is it that jayden cross make them feel?[break][break]

“It feels…a lot like coming home, I think. Comforting. The whole unconditional devotion is a bit new and unexpected for me, but a bit exciting too.”[break][break]

They sigh, shrugging. “I’m not sure I can put it fully in words. I suppose I thought you had…a sense, though?”