dragoness
she/her
twenty-seven
November 03
sootopolis
demisexual
councilwoman
ace
i got new love, new skin to wrap myself in
unable are the loved to die (fw2)
POSTED ON Jan 27, 2024 6:16:00 GMT
we love her so much. morning without you, we say, is a dwindled dawn. we touch her nose. we kiss her cheeks. she smiles back at us and our heart aches for her, even though she's tangled in our legs and our arms. thin shafts of sunlight streak over her cheeks. we trace their outline with care.she guesses, dickinson?i've been had, we say. but it's true. i've missed you. we miss her even when she's here. we are hopeless in her orbit, the earth to her sun, as though at any moment we may be ripped away from her. as though we don't belong beside her at all - gravity and fate and all the rest of it be damned.are you nervous? she asks, lacing fingers.
no. yes. are you sure you'll be okay? we'll be okay? with whoever it is?
of course. will you?
of course.
i love you.
i love you more.the ceremony is magnificent. we wear the vestments of our mother's mother's mother, a shimmering dress adorned with lapis lazuli and rubies. the orb in the palm of our hands, protected after all these years, glimmers a brilliant emerald. we feel the energy coursing through it - raw. untamed. primal. like moth to a flame, soulfire flickers over our skin, in tandem with our beating heart. our breaths are measured. we are the beckoner. this will be the single most important thing we do.we do not relent. we do not stop as our lungs begin to wither, fingers blackening, lips stained a scarlet. we are aware of the sound of our lifeblood, dribbling down our chin, over the emerald orb, and then our ears fail us too.we fall to our knees. our strength fails us too soon. and our beloved lurches forward, but our mother puts a hand on her shoulder, gaze fixated on the sky. a formal feeling comes. our nerves burn up, entombed in sallow flesh. we fold in prayer, as we were taught, and we beg in the language of blood for forgiveness. repentance. strength. we feel a warm light on our crown and then we do not remember anymore.
until - who are you?i'm you. oh. then who am i?you're me. and we're us.yes. and are we dying?this place holds just ourselves and immortality. after, will i remember you?would you want to? i don't know - are you kind?not as kind as you, i think. you have always known me.yes. are you afraid? no. are you angry?
i was. i remember. the unbecoming? yes. and the thereafter. you hate me, don't you?
you had no choice but to stay.
you have my every happiness. the living hurt you so much more.yes. i'm sorry. and, i love you.you don't know what i've done. i do, and i forgive you.i forgive you.your lashes flutter. you grasp onto me, wriggling as i am, even still do i dig in my heels and do i stutter and say i am undeserving. i am in this life that is not mine, stripped of my autonomy, reduced to nothing but a figment.
you cough wetly into someone's chest and realize your beloved has you in her grasp. you say, in a broken rush, tell her you love her. tell her we love her. and then, when her brows furrow in confusion, you forget me, because green has turned to gold.
i see you, she whispers and she thumbs your brow and kisses our temple, and kisses your mouth and searches inside of you, parting the veil to me, all the rest of the world so far gone, except the rolling flames and the taste of ambrosia on her tongue.
this is not the first time we have felt loved - truly and wholly loved, but in this vessel we are not embittered. we are emboldened. so much joy courses through us and i tumble through your fervor, our spirits whole and unshakeable.
you say, laughing against her lips, i always knew it'd be you.
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