Enma, Homura
She/Her
Twenty-Seven
may 27
Ecruteak City
demisexual
hitman
Elite
Tell me what exactly are you thinking, right now - Do you still love me? Or is it that you hate me?
TAG WITH @ayame
AYAME FUJIWARA
nothing's changed
POSTED ON Nov 24, 2021 4:28:04 GMT
[nospaces]
if she's dreaming, she'd like to wake up. [break][break]
what she'd give to be able to speak to him again, to be able to tell him the truth of what happened, to be able to confess what she's done, why she left and, most importantly, that it wasn't his fault (she knows him, better than she'd like to think. she knows that her departure would have left scars an would have plants seeds of doubt in his mind. she knows how it must have hurt him, and for so long, she hoped that he wouldn't search for her, and carried on with the cold heart she was greeted with in their first meeting). it's such a surprise to her, to see him smiling with the pokemon she left with him and to be happy with her parting gift. she thought that she's steeled her resolve enough. she thought that she's okay, now. thought that she could handle it if she saw him again - she thought she could handle the pain and responsibility that came with her actions. [break][break]
a fool standing on a pedestal she is, and now she's wallowing on the throne of bones she's built. he's so close that she can feel his skin brush against her fingertips. he's so close to her as she tries to close the distance by taking a step towards him, and he's so close when she parts her lips, about to say something--[break][break]
and a heart of stone's glass barrier shatters as his sleeve slips through the gentle grasp of her fingertips. things were supposed to get easier. she was supposed to become numb to this pain- so why did she find it harder to bear with each encounter? it stings. it stings, it stings, but watching his back as it gets smaller into the distance stings hardest. [break][break]
the words won't leave her lips, no matter how she may be trying to speak. the cracks were starting form in her facade, and now she couldn't look into those verdant eyes with the same gusto she once had. because she knows; she knows they'll gaze deeper into her, and she knows she'll never be able to lie with that gaze lingering on her person. so she takes a deep breath, and she knows what she wants to say (with the facade and another lie, she's said it so many times, so why can't she believe it anymore?). she stares at the ground, away from his eyes and away from his person, because she knows that she'll never see him again, at this rate (and it's for the best that she says it, it'd be the best for them both, so their paths will never cross again. it's for the best).[break][break]
just lie, ayame.[break]
this isn't the first time you've done it.[break][break]
".. why?" she's close to choking on her words, and she steels herself again, "you really loathe seeing me to this extent, now?~" and she's hesitating, unable to look him in the eye.
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