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[attr="class","samjermain"]The scientist’s knowledge of Elise’s approach came long before Elise announced herself. The impending company first announced itself in her Pokemon’s behavior. The Vivillon at her side slowed its wingbeats, raising slightly higher. Powder began to gather in the anxious bug’s hands. Purrseus, meanwhile, wrinkled his little nose in distaste. An annoyed grumble tumbled from his mouth. Lowering her fanciful binoculars, Calpurnia tutted at the pair. “Now, now, is there any reason to be rude?” The cat lifted a haughty snout. "What a sour whiskers you are."

An indulgent sigh passed from Calpurnia’s lips as she gently ruffled the feline’s ears. Asking her boo-boo to play nice was like asking a Hoppip to be grounded. For her part, Kelpie did not mind the idea of a stranger’s approach. It could prove amusing. And, even if it did not, a simple conversation would not kill her. Slowing slightly, she allowed Elise time to draw even with the group. “I do not own the path, my dear. Intrude away.” Not Pokemon company, of course. Animals could never quite scratch the itch that a person did. Those who let them were sick, sick puppies.

“I’m Kelpie, but my friends call me auntie.” Her enemies called her a madwoman. She gestured to the cat at her side. All of the walking left him irritable. Normally pristine fur was slick with sweat and dotted by dirt and leaves. “This gorgeous specimen is Purrseus.” Notably, she did not mention the other Pokemon Keeping track of one of the beasts was bad enough.

Above them, a Dustox swooped through the clearing. While a stunning creature, it seemed far too close to the one at her side. “What sort of evolutionary hiccup produces eyes like—” The noise sent a little plant scurrying out of the bushes. She knew this one. "Come to mommy, you mycelium menace."

It was quite useful in psychiatric settings. Which, in her line of work, meant it had a few potential assignments. “I do believe we have a new friend. Purrseus.” With a glower, the cat jumped for the mushroom, pinning it beneath two glowing paws.

Chink! The ball bounced off its head with a clumsy, unceremonious noise.

---

Catching the Morelull!

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[attr="class","samjermain"]In her youth, Calpurnia saw Pokemon level her hometown. Or, at least, a good part of it. Family photos fluttered like broken-winged birds amongst the wreckage. The earthquake had split a friend’s house in two. The trainer’s publicly apologized while PR team sent gift baskets. Insurance covered the costs. A year later it’d become a joke. Kelpie never got the punchline.


Luckily, the woman knew how to play the part. Society found this association and reliance on wild animals normal. Calpurnia pretended to feel the same, always wondering just how many people shared her sentiments. She greeted Pokemon with smiles and gave them the occasional poffin. It helped when the Pokemon were cute. Which fortunately, these little darlings were.

“Well, I do hope the little lovelies behave themselves.” Kelpie cautioned playfully. She winked. "There may be a treat in it for them."

Purrseus met the greetings with an indulgent huff. For a moment, the feline’s trademark stoicism disappeared. Something almost smile like crested his face. He even offered a series of slow blinks to the kitten. In feline, this translates to a show of trust. Above him, Kelpie smirked. While typically a bristly creature, Perseus had a small soft spot for children—even the fuzzy ones.


With her new companions tossed into her purse to land amongst gun and old mascara, Kelpie turns to watch Elise at work. The flicker of the Mythic Fire is difficult to ignore—its multicolored glow entrancing Kelpie for a moment. Suddenly, a sound erupts to her size—resembling something between a motorbike and a rampaging rock-type. Grisly smoke bursts through the woods.


Ahead of it, chittering like a mad monkey, a little gremlin rushes through the undergrowth. As it nears her boot, Calpurnia slides her foot back. Her face fills with disgust. This distaste only grew when a Revavroom burst out of the brush behind it. Apparently these two were playing quite the deadly game of tag. “What brutish, nasty creatures.” She shook her head. “Imagine running around with your tongue out like that.”

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[attr="class","samjermain"]Calpurnia smiled at Elise and her motley crew. The elbowing and excitement did not go unnoticed. "Let's not count our Torchic before they hatch, hm?" A chuckle erupted. "Even the best-trained animals act up from time to time."

The battle was watched with a raised brow. A look of displeasure flashed as the mechanical menace spit corrosive liquid at them. "Tch." Fortunately, the thing was soon dispatched. Its disgusting face out of sight and mind.

"Thank you for ridding us of that nasty thing. A living engine has no business in the woods." If she ever met Arceus, she would have her fair share of complaints. Allowing disgusting things like this to exist would be foremost among them.

The Impidimp's disappearance is equally as pleasurable. If it'd shown its tongue to her one more time, she may have ordered Purrseus to tear it out. "They are both from Galar, correct? Does that hideous little goblin make you homesick?"

NOTES
Skipping

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[attr="class","samjermain"]Purple eyes shifted between the other woman’s two Pokemon. The smile—plastered on carefully painted lips—was taut like a trampoline.

The ghost drew the longer of the two glances. When it came to Pokemon, few things were as strange as the spectral. “It is something I have seen a hundred times, my dear.” A deep, dark part of the scientist enjoyed reading headlines confirming her own biases. “Even Purrseus has acted up on occasion.” Angry Donphan rolling their trainer’s down in the streets. A child is torn apart by its nanny Hydreigon for some imagined sight. A bored Steelix collapses a tunnel upon a full passenger train, killing everyone inside. A trainer’s Rhyhorn levels a town during a battle.

People thought a world like this was normal. And, they jokingly called her mad. Though her thoughts are dark, the elder’s smile is gracious and charming. “Still, I do hope yours are an exception.” The Sprigatito was a charming fellow at least. With a strategist’s scrutiny, Calpurnia watches as the feline attacks the ball of drifting fluff. The exchange lasts mere moments, ending with a light beam and an eternity of slavery.

“That is fortunate. There is only so much offense one’s eyes can take.” The scientist’s gaze is drawn from the Cottonee to a little egg in the grass. It shifts, revealing cracks in its surface. It is quickly identified as the happiness Pokemon. A wicked gleam appears in violet eyes as she rolls a black ball between her hands. Perhaps its parasitic glee can simplify the Shadow process. At the very least, it could put a smile on her more dour coworkers’ faces.

Her lips curled upward, resembling bat wings mid-swoop. “Well, aren’t you just divine.” Its little flippers peeked out past the eggshell. “Titania!” With a flutter, the butterfly dove toward the baby Pokemon. Spores rained down from above, instantly sending it into a fitful slumber. With a smile, she lobbed a ball at it.

At the talk of her homeland, Calpurnia smiled. “It truly is a beautiful land, though I am certain Necrozma’s influence has changed that.” Purple eyes lifted to the robin’s egg sky above. “What drives you to stay here?” She gestured vaguely to the surrounding land.

She had considered departing before—offering her children a safer existence—but the idea was met with reluctance. There was no madder place in the world, and she, at her core, was a mad scientist.

“I am surprised anyone is left.” At the very least, her two eldest spent their summers in boarding schools.

NOTES
Catching Togepi

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