When asked by lab staff, Josh withdrew Raikiri and walked the rest of the way to the Peacemaker's office. From her body language and demeanor, it seemed she was already aware of the Gym Leader's misdeeds. "I take you already know what's up," were the first words out of his mouth as he sat down. "And it hurts. It really hurts. It hurts the League. It hurts me. And most importantly, it hurts Eris. What hurts even more is had I just listened to my closest Pokémon, who were trying to stop me from doing that to her, this didn't have to happen. But I didn't. Instead, I used the one Pokémon I had that was untamed enough to let me make that bad decision." He wondered if Eris had recovered from her wounds yet. They were serious, as all Beedrill stings were. There was a reason the Pokémon, common as it was, was such a danger to trainers in wooded areas.

"The hardest part of this whole thing has been being separated from my Gym," Josh nodded. "Ever since I had to name an interim Gym Leader, the place has gone to hell and back. Every single metric has gone the wrong way. With me separated from my Gym and mindlessly slaving away in Mauville's slums, I've had a lot of time to think about what happened. I want to make this whole thing right. Right not only to myself, but right to the League, and right to Eris." Josh paused for a long time as his eyes began to shimmer in sorrow. "I want to make up for what I did. I know your specialty isn't exactly human relations, but I can't think of too many people I haven't approached that I'd be comfortable talking to about this. I know what I did was wrong. Horribly wrong. And I genuinely want to repair relationships with the League, not just as an organization, but as a person. I just don't know where to start."

Josh couldn't tell whether Eva's long pause was resentment, shock, bewilderment, or any other unnatural emotion. Every word she said was true; Josh had learned much from the horrible atrocity he had committed. He had come clean to as many people as he felt comfortable with within the League. He breathed a sigh of relief when, unlike several others he had spoken to, she didn't seem interested in grilling Josh for his misguided motive for doing what he did. Eva had the read on him, too. He wasn't upset with Eris. He wasn't upset with Isaac Merlo or any low-level Rockets he knew. He wasn't upset with anyone in the League. Except MATIAS SILPH .

Finding out that Eris was akin to a daughter to Eva made it even more difficult for Josh to speak. "I'm... I'm so sorry, Eva... I had no idea... Had only I known..." The severed trust between the two did not go unnoticed, either. It would likely take years to rebuild that trust. Multiple years. "I, too, have someone I used to closely trust. I once looked up to him and wanted to be just like him. Then as I spent more time with him, I learned he was not the person I thought he was. The very person that I thought was a mentor to help me improve as a Gym Leader, and by proxy, a general of Hoenn's army... while I can't blame my actions on him, he influenced me in regrettable ways."

To answer Eva's first question, Josh nodded before saying, "I have, and in the worst way possible. Especially after learning of the kind of relationship the League had with Eris, it's really taught me the difference between Team Rocket the people, and Team Rocket the organization. Unlike a certain someone I was alluding to before." While he didn't bring up the Volatile's name, Eva may have been able to catch on, particularly in the wake of that last comment.

The second question, though simple, was much more complex for Josh to answer. "Eva, this is going to sound weird, but... I can forgive others easily. Even those I don't get along with. The one person I've had a hard time forgiving... is myself." After a few deep breaths to collect himself and keep himself from bursting into tears, he continued. "One thing I strive to do not just as a Gym Leader, but as a person, is hold myself to higher standards than those around me. I've had a lot of time to think on it, too. The hardest part of my restitution hasn't been the monetary part or knowing I will never, ever serve the League in a higher capacity for the rest of my life. No. The hardest part is having my Gym taken away from me. I've got a news article I want to show you that might shed some light on why this has been so hard."

The third point was appreciated the most of all. None of the people Josh had spoken to thus far had offered to be an emotional support like Eva was. "...Thank you. You've already been more help than just about anyone else I've spoken to. I just want to put my life back together." While she seemed to be taking the situation back to the bare basics, it would prove to be an important step to, at last, getting the Master of Faster to forgive himself. "The first step to forgiveness is understanding what you did was wrong. An admission of one's own guilt."

The Master of Faster, though he had his own ambitions, was largely a selfless soul with the desire to see others succeed with his help. He had helped a myriad of trainers make it to the doors of the Pokémon League, ready to take the Champion Assessment and serve the League in the highest capacity an ordinary person could. More importantly, he had helped even more trainers patch critical team weaknesses, particularly in those who wanted to play out more methodical battles. Those kinds of people, those who genuinely cared for righting the injustices of the less fortunate, were exactly the kinds of people the League needed to have as Gym Leaders and other leaders within her ranks. People like Eva Morales - she was an exemplar in that regard.

There were also people on both sides of the League/Rocket aisle who were, just as the Peacemaker alluded to, manipulative. Children were particularly vulnerable to this level of manipulation, which made the situation with Eris all the more lamentable. The Avatar's remarks were true; Josh was everything the League ideally wanted their Leaders to be. Everything, that was, until the atrocity he committed. While it was a glaring blemish, it was the only rotten spot on the otherwise decadent fruit of the rider's morals and work ethic.

"...You are absolutely right," the young man dejectedly admitted. "Those morals and work ethic are part of the reason I was selected as Mauville's Gym Leader. But the Mauville Gym Leader before this happened is not the same person. The person who holds that title now is... a monster. A monster who let his greatest ambition consume him, and utilize any means necessary to make that ambition reality. It hurts, Eva. It really hurts."

Josh was a bit puzzled with where Eva was going. "I have an idea, but I'm unsure. It sounds like a feedback loop of understanding one another and just accepting one another for the people they are. Why do humans hold grudges against one another? What is the endgame of a grudge? No matter; it can't be anything good." He took a deep breath, starting to recognize perhaps not exactly where the emerald-eyed scientist was going, but the direction his thinking needed to go.

"I'm gonna stop beating around the bush. It's MATIAS SILPH . I can't entirely blame him for what I did, but I recognize that his influence was a big catalyst."

The Peacemaker got her moniker for a reason. Her proven conflict resolution skills could make even the most bitter of rivals coexist. Compared to many of the conflicts she had resolved since being chosen by Rayquaza, this internal one was a cakewalk. It was as though the Avatar had some unknown power that made Josh see his inner conflict for what it truly was: a self-imposed expectation that he could always do better. A self-imposed expectation that his best was never good enough. He expected near-perfection of himself.

Though she was a doctor of science and not a psychiatrist, it sure seemed like it with the wisdom that came out of her mouth. It was these kinds of people, those that could stand strong, both externally and internally, that the benevolent gods looked upon. While those they chose were not without weaknesses, the ones they did chose had something in common: they worked to patch their weaknesses and become stronger. Josh had not done that; for the past thirteen years, he had hid in his own self-pity.

Avatar or no, there was no room for that kind of thought in war-torn Hoenn.

"Projection," was the first word that came out of his mouth. "I think projection is the word that best describes what you're trying to say. Am I close?" Instead of trying to read between the lines and twist the words of others, what was so difficult about just taking people at face value? "And just doing away with projection... preconceived notion... prejudice..." Thoughts raced through Josh's head at the mention of Eva's forgiveness.

"Trusted..." After hearing that word, despite having blighted the life of a child she held very near and dear to her, she still trusted him? How could she forgive him, given what he did? He wanted to say something to that accord, but his immediate thoughts would only prove Eva right of his projection problem. It was obvious from his body language that he was struggling to come up with a response. "Attempting to understand what you, Matias, or anyone else is thinking just feeds the very demon I want to slay. The demon of projection. It's probably for the better that I just accept forgiveness rather than try to understand it. Thank you."

Projection.

Josh smiled for the first time since their meeting began. He had projected his desires onto Raikou so much that he had twisted a false reality into being around them. A false reality that Raikou was his rightful partner. Even if another Raikou was out there, it was not the one Josh knew. The one Josh knew valiantly gave its life to give Johto a second chance. Had that Raikou not done so, he may not be standing. If declan walsh 's otome route was to be believed, Johto could have easily wound up as decimated as Kanto were it not for the noble sacrifice of the fastest Pokémon on land.

"It is," Josh admitted. "Change is never easy. But I want to make an effort. These sorts of things can take weeks or even months to change. As weak as I am now, I get told the opposite more often than not. By challengers, by fellow Gym Leaders... and even those high up the chain of command, like you." With that, the Mauville Leader stood up, pushing his chair in. "Glad to hear that our friendship has endured, because not all of mine have. I still treasure the memories we've had together. Thank you." Twisting the lab door's knob, Josh swung it open, then turned around to wave goodbye.

"And speaking of memories, I hope our little flight has helped you understand Rayquaza better."