...Hm. You're drawing a blank here. Who is this chick, and why does she seem so familiar?

At first glance, nothing comes to mind. Then you comb through your memory a little more thoroughly, and still, nothing. Then, you REALLY mull it over. Her accent is definitely Kalosian, and you only know so many Kalosian people, so you should be able to narrow it down. Think, think... Is she somebody you knew from your brief stint in Kalos? Nah, couldn't be, she looks too young for that. Besides, you only had one boyfriend in Kalos, and Gilles is too busy serving twenty-five to life to be here in Hoenn... Which is for the best, you think. But then, if she isn't from back then, who the hell is she?

And then, the coin drops. Specifically, a Gimmighoul coin. Oh, she was there for the Murder Roulette, huh? Which means she was under Route 119 that day. Interesting. Interesting! There's a thought brewing in your head right now, but it'll take a bit for it to finish. That gives you plenty of time for a quick tournament battle.

"...There's a lot to unpack there." You muse. Unfortunately, somebody other than you is going to have to unpack it, because you're here to get into Pokemon fights, not argument fights... Okay, well, you'll unpack ONE thing. "Look, Howard's not my boyfriend, alright? I've kind of got a 'will-they won't-they' thing going with a hot scientist lady? And for better or for worse, Howard doesn't really factor into that. Sorry."

With that misunderstanding "cleared up", Meltan hops down from you shoulder, as he has many times before. The Hex Nut saunters forth, taking its position on the battlefield opposite of the mean-looking Hatterene. Then, he proceeds to completely miss all the extremely obviously threats she's making, and simply offers up a little wave.

"hello big wizard lady (・ω・)ﾉ my name is meltan! lets have a good fun fight today \(^ヮ^)/ okay?"

---

Gimmick, TERA; +15 on Even Rolls.
DESIREE BLOOMS

"What? No." Arceus, I wish.

You're not quite sure how you're supposed to respond to that. You honestly kind of stunlocked. You put the chit-chat on pause for a moment as you fish the Tera Orb out of your pocket. As glowing energy begins to swirl around, you idly ponder what an appropriate response should be. A scientist who poured chemicals into her husband's cereal? Well, what kind of chemicals? Like, if it was acid, that would be pretty bad, but what about liquid nitrogen? Wouldn't that just freeze the cereal and turn it into a kind of ice cream? That doesn't sound so terrible. After a moment of deliberation, a high-pitched sound begins to ring out from the Tera Orb, and as you throw it forward, you finally settle on your reply.

"I haven't had that happen to me, but one of my exes put coke on Kalosian toast once. That was pretty weird, but I don't think she was a scientist, so those things are probably unrelated. Funny, though."

Perfect.

Meanwhile, the Orb makes contact with Meltan, and his entire body is covered in a crystalline sheen as a gigantic fist-shaped crown sprouts atop his head. Bolstered by the power of Tera Fighting, he launches a powerful Tera Blast, which proceeds to soar high into the air, weave through the Mystical Fires, and hit the Hatterene head-on.

Or, well, "hit". As the attack harmlessly go through the now-ghost. Meltan, meanwhile, takes the full brunt of the fires, though fortunately, losing his Steel typing does mean that he's not hurt as badly as he could be. Though right now? That might be the least of your worries.

"...Meltan, what was that?"

"mr shred (°ロ°) why didn't my attack work??"

"You used a Fighting type move. Her Hatterene Terastalized into a Ghost type."

"... (￣ω￣;)"

"Uh oh... Okay, so you know how your Electric moves don't work on Ground types? It's like that. Fighting moves don't work on Ghost types."

"wait (＠_＠) electric moves don't work on ground types?"

"Oh, brother... Look, I'll explain this later, alright? For now, just don't use any Normal or Fighting moves, alright?"

"okay (ง￣︿￣)ง got it!"

You don't believe he's got it for even a single second, but you've already interrupted the battle for long enough. After all, Desiree has been standing there this whole time, watching this farce of a conversation take place. She just heard you have a whole discussion where half of it was, essentially, "meltan (°ロ°) meltan meltan??". Clearing your throat, you sheepishly rub the back as your neck as you do you very best to avoid eye contact.

"Ahem. Sorry about that."

---

Gimmick, TERA; +15 on Even Rolls.
q2HYlyEX
Meltan loses. 2/3 HP remaining.
DESIREE BLOOMS

As the Dazzling Gleam shoots forth, Meltan throws himself into a roll, just barely dodging the flashing light. Taking the opportunity, it made a second attempt at a counterattack, this time armed with the proper knowledge to inform its offensive. Pressing its hands together, it allowed light of its own to build up in the palms of its hands, before launching it up towards the Hatterene in the form of a Flash Cannon.

"sgo (ﾉ•﹏•)ﾉ))))))))))))))✴ smeltan sbeam!"

And it also seemed to have picked up a strange "s" thing from somewhere? Where did he get that from? You don't know. Maybe you don't want to know. Maybe you're better off not knowing? That's probably for the best.

"Yeah, that's about right." You nod, as though you're explaining something normal and sensible and not your ability to hear and speak to your Pokemon. "It only works with my Pokemon, though, not anyone elses. And only the normal ones, too, not the Ultra Beasts or Paradox Pokemon. Otherwise? I can talk to them, and they can talk to me."

...Okay, well, it's actually much, much, MUCH more complicated than you're making it sound, but...

"Fuck if I know how it works, though."

---

Gimmick, TERA; +15 on Even Rolls.
YpZt7xvx + 15 = 83.
Meltan wins! 2/3 HP Remaining.
DESIREE BLOOMS

Were you kissed on the forehead by some kind of verbal deity? "Nah. Probably not."

Sure, weird things happen in Hoenn, but that? That seems a little unrealistic. Besides, who would that verbal deity even be? The Unown? You went to their dimension, they don't say shit. Why would they? They're literally letters, they speak for themselves.

Man, you're getting a really weird sense of deja vu from this conversation. Or, more specifically, from the woman you're speaking to. Are you sure you haven't met Desiree before? Before the alien incident, you mean, because despite having no memory of her from before that, she feels so weirdly familiar. Are you forgetting something important? Or is your brain just playing tricks on you?

Meanwhile, Meltan and Hatterene continue their fight. The blob prepares for a second Flash Cannon, but as the Psychic waves bear down upon him, he loses his focus. The beam of light goes wide, missing entirely, and leaving Meltan with no choice but to hunker down and try to weather the assault as best he can. That Tera Fighting really came back to bite you, huh? If only you'd given him Tera Dark, then this entire battle would've played out so completely differently...

...Fuck it, actually, you'll just ask her.

"Have I met you before?"

---

Gimmick, TERA; +15 on Even Rolls.
r1T|VdpS
Meltan loses. 1/3 HP Remaining.
DESIREE BLOOMS

"Fan signings...? Wait, are you famous or something?"

Yeah, that's gotta be it. She's some kind of celebrity! You saw her on TV at some point, got a wired crossed when you were huffing paint fumes, and made up some memory that you'd met her, which you immediately proceeded to forget. That makes perfect sense!

...Shit, no it doesn't. It doesn't make any sense. Actually, it doesn't explain anything! Despite your best efforts, you're right back to square one, no closer to solving this mystery. You're just going to have to give up unravelling this loose thread for now. You'll circle back to this after you've finished up this battle.

That happens far sooner than you expect, as the Magic Powder rains down upon the Meltan. For a moment, he simply stands there, seemingly unbothered by the attack. Then, he bows.

"okay you win big lady (♡°▽°♡) good fight!"

"...Meltan, the battle isn't over, you're clearly still able to fight--"

"mr shred the fight is over ┐(￣～￣)┌"

"Wh... Okay...?"

What a strange, strange way for this match to end.

---

Gimmick, TERA; +15 on Even Rolls.
H5e5g4vr + 15.
Meltan LOSES. 0/3 HP Remaining.
DESIREE BLOOMS

“...Thanks?”

You're not really sure what you're supposed to do with this. You already have a pen, you're not a big crystal guy, and a photocard for a celebrity you just heard about literally a minute ago is… Yeah. But, hey, gift horses and mouths and all that.

Would Lulu like it? Hm. You don't take her for an electro-pop girl. Better not chance it. You're on thin ice with her as it is.

“Well, see you around.”

With that, you turn to leave. Onward and upward, to the next battle…

…Seriously though, where the hell do you remember her from…?

---

Desiree wins, Shred loses.
DESIREE BLOOMS