REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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played by

gunsmile

"Lancer"
he / him
34
September 5
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
pansexual
paralegal / special agent
agent
6'1" / 185 cm height
6'1" / 185 cm height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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1,455 posts
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TAG WITH @gunner
Gunner Graves
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON Apr 17, 2024 13:05:50 GMT
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"Hey, Concordas!" [break][break]

Finding Paxton was not a difficult task, not during the work day and not at the headquarters of the HBIC. Gunner knew the path to Paxton's desk by heart and could find his way blindfolded. [break][break]

This time, though, his feet dragged as if leaden weights had been tied to his ankles. A great reluctance made even opening his mouth seem like an impossible task. And at first, he could not look the other man in the eye. [break][break]

Man up, Gunner, he chastised himself, before forcing himself to meet Paxton's gaze. [break][break]

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" He gestured to an empty conference room nearby, indicating a desire for privacy.



TAGS[break]
NOTES – social, ~1 week post-Primeval


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played by

kimmy

pax
he/they
28
may 26
vermillion city, kanto
pansexual
intel and accountability officer
deputy director
then i'll become the monster, i will deal the blow
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TAG WITH @paxton
paxton concordas
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON May 9, 2024 3:59:01 GMT
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Paxton nearly kept walking, footsteps hesitating before coming to a full stop. He'd just finished a small sync meeting and had been heading back to his department to send out a couple of reminder emails. He hadn't heard that voice in a while. Cold professionalism had been the only thing left between the pair in the few interactions they'd had, with Paxton avoiding seeing him altogether if he could manage it. his tight schedules had become even tighter, not bothering to seek out Gunner and instead limit their exposure to each other [break][break]

Safe to say, he didn't expect him to call out to him like that. Not that it was hard to find him. Paxton had usual routes he took from between HBIC and the League HQ. His calendar was easy to follow with most that needed him having access to seeing it. [break][break]

"Graves." he greeted, retreating into himself as he waited for the taller agent to catch up. The request to talk is nearly ignored, with Paxton's eyes moving to the conference room and then back down the hall to the safety of his office. But he was curious. And frankly, he simply missed talking to his friend. This had been the first time they'd tried to reach out. He didn't have it in him to snub him. "Of course." [break][break]

He untucked the folders he'd secured under his arm and moved for the conference room, setting his papers down before pulling out the usual notebook and pen. A habit he couldn't kick if he tried. "What's your concern?" he asked.

[break][break]






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[attr="class","title"]tldr;


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tl;dr [break][break]





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played by

gunsmile

"Lancer"
he / him
34
September 5
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
pansexual
paralegal / special agent
agent
6'1" / 185 cm height
6'1" / 185 cm height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
1,455 posts
part of
TAG WITH @gunner
Gunner Graves
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON May 9, 2024 14:37:54 GMT
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Gunner entered the conference room after Paxton and closed the door behind him. He lingered by the table, still standing, finding himself too restless to sit like the other man had. Paxton's strict professionalism and the little notebook in his hands meant he thought this conversation was work-related. [break][break]

"Look," Gunner said, forging ahead before his stubborn pride could ruin his intention, "I want to apologize for our fight a few months back. For being an asshole and punching you in the face." [break][break]

In all honesty, so much time had passed that he could barely remember the exact words exchanged between the two men. All he remembered was how angry he'd felt and how he'd been unable to control his actions. [break][break]

Gunner looked down, unable to meet Paxton's eyes and feeling foolish.



TAGS[break]
NOTES – social, ~1 week post-Primeval


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played by

kimmy

pax
he/they
28
may 26
vermillion city, kanto
pansexual
intel and accountability officer
deputy director
then i'll become the monster, i will deal the blow
awards
1,738 posts
part of
TAG WITH @paxton
paxton concordas
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON May 16, 2024 3:54:42 GMT
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His placid expression twitches into a grimace before smoothing over again. He'd hoped treating this like a business meeting would unnerve Gunner enough to back off. That's not the case. He's not looking forward to the conversation either, having shut down and left after the assault. "Oh." his eyebrows knit together despite trying to look unaffected, but he still managed to scowl at the wall in front of him. [break][break]

Paxton allowed himself to look at Gunner. Gunner did not give him the same courtesy. "For punching me over ." he said simply. Unlike before his tone of her is more neutral. After all, they didn't interact much but she was cordial with him and, well, in the end she was alright. Not a lick of Rocket in her. He couldn't imagine how she'd ever. She was so...self involved. Maybe the money aspect? [break][break]

"And the stuff at the holiday party." A party he'd gotten into it with nearly everyone. His friends, his begrudging colleagues, staff, even his- his- ... [break][break]

Even had been pissed at him that night. [break][break]

Maybe he was being petty, or vindictive. But 'being an asshole' wasn't specific enough, nor precise. And Gunner knew him well enough Paxton more often than not zeroed in on the details of a problem in order to solve it.


[break][break]






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played by

gunsmile

"Lancer"
he / him
34
September 5
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
pansexual
paralegal / special agent
agent
6'1" / 185 cm height
6'1" / 185 cm height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
1,455 posts
part of
TAG WITH @gunner
Gunner Graves
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON May 16, 2024 20:49:11 GMT
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Gunner winced at the mention of the holiday party. He'd hoped Paxton had forgotten about Gunner's rotten behavior that day, but he shouldn't have been surprised the other man had such a sharp memory. [break][break]

Not only had Paxton been insulted and snubbed, but he was a meticulous, detail-oriented man in all aspects of his life. At least, based on what Gunner knew. [break][break]

"Yeah," the older man said, finally raising his gaze to meet Paxton's. The cold indifference he saw in his colleague's face almost made him wince again. Damn, but he was bad at apologies. [break][break]

"I'm sorry for punching you over Mila, and for how I treated you at the holiday party. You didn't deserve it, and… and I want to make it up to you, if there's any way I can." [break][break]

If Paxton would even let him. [break][break]

"I want to be friends again."



TAGS[break]
NOTES – social, ~1 week post-Primeval


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played by

kimmy

pax
he/they
28
may 26
vermillion city, kanto
pansexual
intel and accountability officer
deputy director
then i'll become the monster, i will deal the blow
awards
1,738 posts
part of
TAG WITH @paxton
paxton concordas
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON May 21, 2024 1:35:54 GMT
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He relaxed a little as Gunner actually looked at him. The punch had hurt less than the vitriol Gunner had looked at him with. But he didn't see that today. His chest didn't seize. "I don't talk to her like that." he said after another minute of silence, letting the apology hang in the air and mullking over the sincerity in his words. "Not for months. But we're on...friendly terms." he said. He didn't seek her out, nor him. But he didn't hate her. He didn't resent her either. That was also assuaged by the fact he'd looked at her file. Mila was far from a war criminal. And it was so long ago, and she had completed amnesty. But this isn't an apology. Not a proper one the likes of should offer. Because he had said some hateful things too, in the heat of the moment. [break][break]

"I didn't mean it when I said you disgusted me...I've been involved with a number of Rocket agents without knowing." A shame he would never be able to live down. "You're a good agent, and an even better man. Nobody can say you're shit at your job. I'm sorry." he sat awkwardly, his turn to look away from the man with him. Though it's clear he's a bit embarrassed by the pink that tinged the top of his ears. Even so his voice was clear, and he looked back at Gunner. "Me too. I- I want to be friends again too." His face is placid but one could not miss the knuckle fight fist on the table as Paxton squeezed through his shyness. [break][break]

"I did want to ask you though, Why did you do it then? All that?" he asked. It wasn't accusatory, but just curious. After all, had they not had similar conversations when it came to other, more heinous Rockets? Gunner had never become as emotional as when it came to Mila. He has his suspicions. He'd said they were seeing each other, they'd argued at the party. Still. Better to hear it from Gunner himself.




[break][break]






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[attr="class","title"]tldr;


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tl;dr [break][break]





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played by

gunsmile

"Lancer"
he / him
34
September 5
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
pansexual
paralegal / special agent
agent
6'1" / 185 cm height
6'1" / 185 cm height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
1,455 posts
part of
TAG WITH @gunner
Gunner Graves
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON May 21, 2024 16:49:53 GMT
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The fact that Paxton didn't outright reject the metaphorical olive branch sent relief flooding through Gunner. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Seeing Paxton blush helped ease Gunner's own awkwardness. He offered the other man a slight smile at the reciprocation of friendship. [break][break]

A smile that fell instantly at Paxton's question. [break][break]

"I… She…" [break][break]

Gunner glanced away again, his discomfort growing. Memories of recent months flashed through his head: The drunken conversation with around New Year's Eve. bursting into Gunner's hospital bed with tears in her eyes. The way she showed up at Gideon's apartment every day without fail to look after Gunner. [break][break]

The heart-wrenching agony in his chest when he found her, injured, in the Giant Chasm. The warmth of her embrace and the softness of her skin. The fire she lit inside him whenever she looked his way. [break][break]

Gunner raised his gaze, his expression open and afraid. When he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. [break][break]

"I'm in love with her, Paxton."



TAGS[break]
NOTES – social, ~1 week post-Primeval


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played by

kimmy

pax
he/they
28
may 26
vermillion city, kanto
pansexual
intel and accountability officer
deputy director
then i'll become the monster, i will deal the blow
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1,738 posts
part of
TAG WITH @paxton
paxton concordas
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON Jun 4, 2024 0:45:41 GMT
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He doesn't hate . She's not Rocket. Hadn't been. And it's hard to say he hated someone he'd been so at ease with before knowing her past. As stubborn as Paxton wanted to be. But with Gunner, he could be a little honest. [break][break]

So when he says he's in love, Paxton isn't angry or disgusted. Just...awkward. His experience with love is minimal. Though comes to mind, it's hard to talk about too. In a way, Gunner is braver than him. "Ah." the realization is soft. Made sense. There had to be a good reason Gunner had gotten so emotionally erratic around him. Paxton was the type to internalize. But Luci? Luci also had gone off on him a few, terrifying times. [break][break]

"Have you told her?" Surely he has. Surely it's just the strain on their friendship that makes the agent before him reluctant. "You've...loved her for a long time. Right?" the feels like its making his tongue fuzzy. Like he's allergic.

[break][break]






[attr="class","ooc"]
[attr="class","title"]tldr;


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+ [break][break]
tl;dr [break][break]





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gunsmile

"Lancer"
he / him
34
September 5
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
pansexual
paralegal / special agent
agent
6'1" / 185 cm height
6'1" / 185 cm height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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1,455 posts
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TAG WITH @gunner
Gunner Graves
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON Jun 4, 2024 18:59:10 GMT
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Paxton's reaction was as Gunner expected. They had not talked much about their personal lives before, and the latter saw no reason to change that trend. So he stuffed his hands in his pockets and let his eyes roam the conference room, looking at anything else but his friend's face. [break][break]

"Um, no. She doesn't know. And—I don't know. Maybe?" [break][break]

The confession was pathetic. It didn't suit a man like Gunner, who was normally so put-together and cool-headed. Instead, his gut twisted and his face burned with embarrassment. [break][break]

"I'm not ready to tell her." A pause. "I don't think we're ready for—that." [break][break]

Would run away, as she always did when her feelings became overwhelming? Would she ghost him for good?



TAGS[break]
NOTES – social, ~1 week post-Primeval


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played by

kimmy

pax
he/they
28
may 26
vermillion city, kanto
pansexual
intel and accountability officer
deputy director
then i'll become the monster, i will deal the blow
awards
1,738 posts
part of
TAG WITH @paxton
paxton concordas
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON Jun 26, 2024 2:06:30 GMT
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He listens. That's really all he can do. He's not exactly good with relationships. His own connection with was tentative at best, witch Paxton finding new ways to almost ruin what they had. "I get the feeling." He doubted there would ever be a time he truly felt ready to speak to Luciano like that. If he really thought about it, they had no future together. He was holding someone's spot for them. A bit of attention before Luci eventually moved away to travel again. [break][break]

"I like to think you have a good chance. Maybe." he added. His own relationship notwithstanding, perhaps his friend would have a better time. The air is heavy, the mood awkward. He thinks of what his younger self would've done. Before Hoenn, before the war. All smiles and nervous laughter. He can't even force it now. Even if he did, it wouldn't look half as sincere as when he was 18. [break][break]

Instead, he gets up to give Gunner a firm pat on the back. "You'll figure it out though. You're smart." He lets his hand drop and looks to the door before back at Gunner. "I...I have a meeting soon, but I'll text you. Let's get a coffee. I want to catch up again." he said, lips twitching into an equally awkward smile before he moved to the door. He gave Gunner one last look, feeling a bit relieved, waved, and headed out.

[break][break]






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tl;dr [break][break]





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played by

SHIV

GONGAGER
he/him
25
October 13
GONGAGA
gongaga-romantic
gongager
gongago
me?
gongaga
808 height
808 height
WHERE ARE UNOVA REMAKES
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41,432 posts
shiv DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @shiv
shiv
REGRETS AND REPARATIONS [S]
POSTED ON Jun 27, 2024 1:12:17 GMT
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[attr="class","omacceptedtop"]THREAD COMPLETE!

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YOU RECEIVE THE REWARDS BELOW:[break]


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The Shula Region
Hogwarts AU
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