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It's a shot in the dark. It's unlikely. Hell, it's brazenly fucking stupid. To hope that the Reaper is anything left of Jay. That Jayden Cross was the same boy from before. That the poison wasn't fatal and lethal, leading them to this. But Ashley wants to hope that Jay is still in there. He has to believe it. Because the other alternative is the dead end, and it's coming up fast.[break][break]

It's... in his way he says Ash that breathes life into him. For a moment, it seems to work. And Ashley's lips curve upwards. Jay was in there. He could be saved. He could be taken and it could be fixed. His forearm grabbed, his hope grew.[break][break]

"Jay."[break][break]

Only to nosedive and spiral so expeditiously just seconds later.[break][break]

First came the bloodcurdling scream, the crystal froze his arm, closer to his chest, as his eyes finally look up to meet-[break][break]

The white blue eyes that made sure to know the coffin that buried his friend years ago had truly left him behind. The feeling of hatred, oozing into him. To show him the hatred he feels for Ashley in this moment. And that was when he knew.[break][break]

Jay was gone. He's been gone for a long, long time now.[break][break]

He should have known better. As he rips himself away, and falls backwards, he lands wrong onto his leg, again. And the yell of pain he made, as if to make matters worse, only sounds like that of a corner little animal.[break][break]

"NO!"[break][break]

Grabbing onto his chest now, he can tell. He's not making it out of this swamp alive. And though she's brave, Juliette goes in to HEADBUTT the Reaper standing over him, as Ashley calls out back. "JULIETTE, NO!" As if to make matters worse, two more of his Pokeballs fire out. A Metagross at the ready, ready to end the Reaper before him. A Glaceon at the ready, to protect Ashley at all costs.[break][break]

Not again.[break][break]

Not again.[break][break]

'notagainnotagainnotagain' his breathing gets heavier, faster, as he holds his free hand out. "MAGNETO. MAPLE. STOP!"[break][break]

SNOWSCAPE and METEOR MASH, to aid Juliette. They had to protect Ashley at all fucking costs. Maple, especially. Because if he dies, kepler brueshaber will never forgive him. The Glaceon's eyes are squinting as he growls out, glaring the Reaper down. No way in hell.[break][break]

Even if they have to kill his former best friend today. Even if. Then so be it. Maple will leave him in an icy coffin. Magneto will smash him into nothing but bits. Juliette will tear into him with everything she has.

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Kepler is justified. Every wall torn down now, even through tears, Ashley knows. Because Kepler needs to let it out. How many times did he ever ask to throw his life away? To let himself burn out on a hope that tomorrow, maybe Jay can come back to being friends again? Maybe Isaac can not have his own heroic complex? No. He never once asked. In this partnership, Ashley didn't abide to him.[break][break]

In a way, despite how selfless he had been for them, he had been selfish in another way. The nuance isn't lost.[break][break]

So when Kep squeaks out the confirmation, and with a wave of wrath, Ashley's soaked face can only watch, his ears can only listen. The shrieking, it hurts, but Ashley can't help but stand there and take it. He has a backbone, but in that moment, it's almost as if justice is being served. He'd been so shit, he just let it hit him. He lets it stab into him. It's what he deserves.[break][break]

Except no. That thinking is wrong, and it's exactly to the point of the problem Kep pointed out. His life. An afterthought. From the moment he was born, given away to an orphanage from a mother who couldn't and a father who didn't want him. His life was an afterthought to a broken system, a foster care of fathers in league to make him suffer. All his life, he thought of himself as an afterthought, because that's what they thought of him. Expendable...[break][break]

Kep's pacing, his words... has him look at the ring on his finger. He asked him. Months ago, when Rocket was the only thing on his mind, but the trouble and tremble had taken root.[break][break]

What hurts the most... isn't the scream. It's the way Kepler cries. It has Ash buckle inwardly. And the moment that finger jabs his forehead, they... kiss. The words to learn, to live by. Stop saying he doesn't know, and do. Learn by doing, stop acting like everyone else's problems are his, they aren't.[break][break]

Don't follow them into hell, and have a standard.[break][break]

And with that kiss, Ashley's hands tremble, as he pulls Kep closer. Fuck... all that breaking down of the wall protecting himself, and all Ashley can do is crumble and hold Kepler tighter... a guy who can kick his ass, and love him all the same.[break][break]

He brushes the tears out of Kepler's eyes, and breaks the kiss sooner than later, pressing his forehead to his.[break][break]

"I'll never forget that." He makes sure Kep can feel the engagement ring on his finger on his cheek. As he adjusts himself now, seated down on the ground, he tries to smile, pulling Kepler with him.[break][break]

"Nothing you said is wrong." Love is a learning process. Tender, frightening, exciting, debilitating. "I've got a lot of shit I need to really work through," he laments, closing his eyes. He just lets his breathing calm himself down. It's a pathetic, mousy little action, but as he quiets himself down to just to the inhale and exhale, he chimes in finally.[break][break]

"I'm going to be a little selfish... okay?" He grabs Kepler's hands, places them in front of himself. He laces fingers into his. He stays in close.[break][break]

"Stay with me for a bit. Like this." He doesn't need the kisses. He doesn't need a 'I love you'. All he needs, right now, is to let Kepler cry, like he has been. The hint of the smile... they needed to find Chocobo. They would find Chocobo.[break][break]

Because Ashley was done with this revenge shit.[break][break]

He lets it go.

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There's no smug smarmy comment to make there. There's not even the deep-rooted sadness, it's just... expected. That's the worst part. Ash knew this talk was coming. He could see it a mile away.[break][break]

How many times had this been? Some grandstanding act of defiance that left less and less of him. That heroic grindset that continued to widdle him to nothing but the scarlet-soaked dust. Meteno, he nearly dies for the sake of Rocket. The Ultra Sea war, he nearly dies three separate times from a grudge... and now, he literally did die. In Kep's own words, the favorite little Meowth just gets run over.[break][break]

The shard of a crown have him remember that happiness does exist. But it's so muddied up by the war, by the internalized philosophy, that it cannot exist as it is.[break][break]

But right now... Ash can't help but look dead on the outside, and let the words tear into him. He gave his all to try to save jayden cross. And he fucking died a second there. He followed Isaac Merlo into hell. And he fucking died a second there. User error can only compensate so much, but it's shittier... knowing he was really just living for other people.[break][break]

Kep's words cut like a scalpel on an artery, and bloodlets it all out. When did he last do something for himself? When did he ever live for himself? Did he ever? The answer sits in front of him, wearing the engagement ring, for all that was worth now. He wanted Kepler. From that first sushi date, to the Valentine's desserts, to that trick or treat night, to the ice skating. He wanted him, he wanted to be that.[break][break]

And now. He fucked that up too.[break][break]

"I-" he stumbles first. He tries to speak. Taking a step reminds him that he has the cane in his hand, and knowing that just makes it worse. Holding his hand shows the scars, a physical showing of the damage he'd done to himself.[break][break]

... when did he ever live for himself?[break][break]

He's never done that. Even now, he was thinking of ways to get revenge, to kill declan walsh, save Jay from himself, and make things better. But the goliath stands tall, and this David was barely even alive.[break][break]

"..." he's quiet, silver hair so messy, covering his face. He should be smarter than this. He's an idiot. A dumbass. Certified ass. And all he can do is clinch his fists. "I'm-" How well Kepler just dismantles and rips him apart, leaving him breathless and wordless. He's not crying. Worse.[break][break]

His pupils shrink, and he's smiling. His silver eyes prick in tears, and his heart snaps. With it, the realization that every time he had ever been happy and selfish, has been with-[break][break]

"I'm sorry."[break][break]

He can feel the Meowth truly has his tongue now. All he can say is sorry? All he can do is apologize?[break][break]

Relationships can really get messy sometimes. They can twist in a way that makes it hard to comprehend what way is up. It's something Ashley hates. But even hard times make the heart grow fonder. He only hopes that he didn't fuck it up too hard.[break][break]

"I've been pathetic, huh?" self-deprecation exits his lips, as he can feel himself trying to find anything to hold onto, any verbal foothold to get on, but grabbing towards his face... the walls come down.[break][break]

When it came down to it... the one good thing in his life, was the thing he was most selfish about.[break][break]

That's when he breaks fully. "Kep-" his eyes are watering, waterfalls flood his face, as his smile disintegrates.[break][break]

"I don't know how" to live for myself.[break][break]

Fuck, man.

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Gods of irony truly have a sick twisted sense of humor. Perhaps that's ironic in its own way. But unfortunately for Ash, that god only cares to punish him, and only him. Murphy's Law dictates that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Left to themselves, they'll always go from bad to worse. If multiple things can, it will always be the worst of them.[break][break]

It just so happened that to abide by that law, Juliette had to find Jayden. It just so happened that to abide by that law, Juliette had to know the smell Ashley had on Jayden, even if they hadn't been close since his return. It just so happened that to abide by that law, the way she quickly wagged her tail, showed that this was friend and not foe.[break][break]

The lethality of Murphy's Law held a catastrophic edge, coated with intent, oozing with bloodlust. In the perfect storm, Juliette would begin to lead him to Ashley. Unbeknownst the red string of fate she so haphazardly tied around her trainer's neck, tightening it like rope, and inching away the last foothold left.[break][break]

It's when he hears the pitter patter of snow crunching underfoot, that Ashley's silver eyes turn over. When had it started snowing? Shit. How long had he been out?[break][break]

When his eyes focus on Juliette, the fear overtakes. His face goes blue, and the reaper comes to collect his dues. The Reaper looks over him, carrying the face of that which no longer is. A mask hiding the rotting corpse of the boy from Kanto, a monster by the name of Jayden Cross, molded by sins of the father.[break][break]

Murphy, you twisted sonuvabitch.[break][break]

He forces himself to his feet, but the pain jolts in him. There's no more running. There's no chance he can run from this. No, the reaper's eyes are cold and dead, and filled with the betrayal. Ashley can only pin himself to the tree. Zev Harcourt really did fuck him up.[break][break]

Juliette looked at Ashley, and she whimpers, before turning to Jayden Cross, and shivers and shakes, before growling at him.[break][break]

"I knew it'd be you."[break][break]

The pain in his leg is only second to the one in his chest. A replay of Zev's blade in his head, plays over and over again. The blade that would free this curse tying around his neck tighter and tighter. He doesn't back up, or lean harder. He doesn't try to run.[break][break]

Not anymore.[break][break]

He couldn't shoot his best friend now.[break][break]

He couldn't kill his best friend then.[break][break]

He could never be a Rocket no matter the time.[break][break]

So now the Reaper would take him before he got the chance. But Ashley Shepard wanted to live.[break][break]

One last attempt. He holds his free hand out, the one not clutched to his leg wound, coated red now. "I know you're still in there somewhere. Come with me." There was still coming back from this. There was still redemption for them. They can't fix what's broken, but he wants his Jay back. He wants his friend back. To hell with the sins of the father, may that father burn for the sins he puts upon the son, and give him back the way he was.[break][break]

If only it could ever be that simple.[break][break]

No weapon. No gun, no blade, no switchblade. He could not repeat the mistake. The first scar between them.[break][break]

"You can come back from this," Please. He knows better than to hope. A one in a million chance.

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He doesn't... respond. Not fully. Because in all honesty, he shouldn't even say their names. He doesn't feel he deserves it. Though this self-defeatist mindset does little but make him look worse. So, turning his eyes to the side, he responds coldly.[break][break]

"Haven't. You?"[break][break]

Neither of them, really. For good reason. He needed to get a little distance between his friends, and the League in general. After all, his goal wasn't in conjunction with theirs. He couldn't fully get out.[break][break]

But a cane was not gonna help.[break][break]

With Law slamming his foot downwards into the Zeraora's claw, the Kubfu felt the discomfort, and hopped backwards, a spin in the air, with a landing into an immediate FOCUS ENERGY, creating a crater as the bear quickly races forward, skids on the ground of the little coffee shop arena, and throws his head into a full ass IRON HEAD![break][break]

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There it is.[break][break]

The facade he made crumbles. Ashley's eyes, dark and sunken, can only look back. There's no way he can, or would, talk his way out of this. It was a long time coming.[break][break]

"We do."[break][break]

His heart sinks further, and his eyes move away, darting towards. "Go ahead," call me stupid. Call me an idiot. Call me the biggest asshole. All of it was true.[break][break]

Ashley didn't want to be a punching bag. But right now, with everything he'd put Kepler through, he lets himself get at the ready for each one. No running, no putting it off any longer. Nothing could fix this. The only thing they could do was pick up the pieces. Whatever was left.

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There it was... the feeling in Ashley's chest continued to burn again. His face was red hot, on the palm that rested on his cheek. "Kepler Shepard..." he says it, his face is hotter. Kep's is probably hotter.[break][break]

It really did feel like codependence sometimes... a drug shared between them.[break][break]

He can feel the roll of his lover's spine, his fiancée's thighs waiting to swallow him whole. It wasn't just him being the horndog of the two. Doesn't help that he was in that kinda mood. Something that his love could likely feel now from below.[break][break]

"Heh."[break][break]

He gives a loving look up. His grin turned to something else; a tender lover's bedroom gaze? Silver eyes look up at Kepler, and sees the beautiful man who took the ring. Undressing slowly with the eyes, now that Ashley's hands were preoccupied.[break][break]

"Whatever shall we do to fix that, love?"[break][break]

Stripping down more of what they wanted, he wonders if this hammock can take it. Fuck it. Let room service figure it out. He was paying a fortune for the room as is... a little breaking in never hurt anyone.[break][break]

When the clothes hit the floor, all the Pokemon were down on the beach to play, and all that was left was a rhythm they shared quite a lot. A little eureka moment. Maybe it was codependence, that led them out here to Alola, that had them love each other. But it didn't make it less real, did it? Was it toxic? Was he just making Kepler's life worse? He wonders... he was too afraid to lose him.[break][break]

If nothing else? This tango they danced was real. Their hearts were real. Their love was real.[break][break]

Wasn't it?[break][break]

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Ah. Right. It had been a long, long time since they last interacted, wasn't it? Part of him kind of wished... he didn't have to bother the guy anymore. Downcast silver eyes, and a sheepish smile, the Kubfu would hop up and slap the hell out of Ashley.[break][break]

And afterwards, the bruised cheek is felt upon by his own hand, the little Kubfu tearing up...[break][break]

"Yeah... I know, Law." A quick pet, and his head would pivot up to meet Josh again. "Yeah... it's been awhile. It's Ash." Stretching a little, the duo get ready.[break][break]

A Zeraora, huh? No worries. "Law. Hit em with all you got." The Kubfu prepares himself, taking a kung-fu stance, paws ready for the smackdown.[break][break]

And then. Match time.[break][break]

The bear would speed up fully, racing towards the big thunder cat, leaping upwards, and coming in with that big AERIAL ACE in the form of a dive kick.[break][break]

Starting small. Working his way up.[break][break]

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Pulling Ash out to have battles was cheering him up considerably. That one lady, Diana Cavendish helped. The other one too, ana fell? It was going well! Just constantly making the former Rocket battle others was working, and it made him more like he was.[break][break]

In truth, it was just a distraction... but a nice one.[break][break]

Another fight. This one, on the beaches of a now snowy Lilycove. At the arena itself, as Ashley crosses his arms and waits... he can't even fathom who he'd come across next. Let alone...[break][break]

Someone related to THEO BECKETT.[break][break]

But, as Law approached her, and attempted to get him closer to battle, the silver-haired man just makes a sheepish wave. "Hey. My bear wants to have a fight with you... that cool? VCT rules and all." He's rubbing the back of his head, the closest thing to a smile he could manage. Sunken dark eyes, and what's worse, his other hand held onto a cane he used to get around.

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Another opponent of rock paper scissors had appeared. A tiny little Kubfu, throwing out scissors with opposable fingers, and smiling at the duo. Attempting to cut the Froakie's fingers, a trainer would limp closer on a cane, and call out. Young, silver hair, but sunken darker eyes. "Law! Geez, buddy, why'd you have to run off like that?" The man says, finally getting closer.[break][break]

Limping forward, the man looks towards Cian, and tries to smile. Try being the operative word. "Sorry guy, Law has a mind of his own sometimes." In all honesty, all Law wanted to do was cheer up his depressed trainer by making him socialize.[break][break]

"Wait... you're not Cian are you?" Law quickly lights up, bouncing in place, already wanting to get into a scrap. Ashley scraps, and turns towards the other guy, rubbing the back of his head.[break][break]

"Name's Ash. Think its our fight?"

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After a nice cookie crumble frappe and a nice warm black coffee, the unstoppable duo of Ash and Law would enjoy their day a little, with snow falling over the city. Wasn't sticking, but it reminded him of last year. When he broke his arm, and couldn't even ice skate with kepler brueshaber . The thought of now, maybe never being able to... rips into him.[break][break]

"..."[break][break]

Law, seeing as Ash needed a little cheering up, spots someone inside the place; a familiar someone. The bear hops out, landing onto the ground, and moving closer to him, before waving. It was a tiny little coffee shop, but it could act as an arena for battle, if nothing else.[break][break]

With the bear grinning, Ashley sees a familiar face.[break][break]

"Oh... shit. Josh?"

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Law was inches away. Just a step closer, another paw forward, he could... he could have...[break][break]

The Kubfu hits the floor, falling to a knee, as he falls over, only for Ashley to scoop him up moments later. The points were distributed already, and with it, Ash couldn't help but smile. Good fight.[break][break]

"You too." Ashley calls back to Diana, hand outstretched back to her, and trying his best to smile. "I'll get you next time... come on little guy, let's get some coffee."[break][break]

Oh well. Did his best. That was all that mattered.

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Shit. The Kubfu takes the full strike of that SKY ATTACK, dead-on. And as the Kubfu is pushed back, the bear feels his muscles spasm, as he wakes up just in time.[break][break]

One more go.[break][break]

"Take it, and hit it back with everything you got, Law!"[break][break]

DETECT. Just... needed... to get closer... need to... CLOSE COMBAT...[break][break]

The Kubfu could feel his eyes growing heavy, his arms spaghetti. Could he close the distance?[break][break]

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