[attr="class","samjermain"]The talk of call sign approval coaxed out a ladylike snort. “I shudder to think what they might suggest.” No doubt there were many vulgar, silly names among them. Perhaps a fistfight broke out over kittylicker6969. Then, of course, one of the stoners would try to requisition endless permutations of 420. “I do not envy you.” In truth, leadership held its appeal, but it also constrained one’s work. Things were much simpler when only your children looked up to you.


“You didn’t, love. But I forgive you.” Plump lips lifted in a small smile. A gloved hand rose to rest upon the side of her helmet. “There are far uglier things to be” Though, she really did not see the resemblance. Was it truly just one of color? Calpurnia did not think herself a simple Kalosian plant waiting for some forgetful person to water it. A click drew her gaze toward the younger man as his mask popped off. What an adorable baby—cute and powerful.


Then, he asked about injuries. Calpurnia shook her head, eyes temporarily filled with crocodile tears. “I’ve escaped damage so far, though that brute did a number on my newest acquisition.” By which she meant he’d decapitated him. But, talking about something so gruesome with this baby-faced man seemed horribly distasteful. “And, unfortunately, it’s nothing first aid will fix.”


At the talk of holier than thou, Kelpie chuckled. “Even in a war zone, people can be so horrifically naive,” The pancake-faced cat blinked up at Mint as he laid down a treat. His eyes locked suspiciously on his hands for a moment, waiting for him to withdraw before he sniffed and devoured the little morsel. “Puru/” He nodded in thanks once he swallowed, leaning into an absent-minded stroke from his trainer. But his expression remains unscrutable—even if Kelpie could read a million emotions in it.


A sigh emerged as the little tin can announced his presence. It appeared their siesta had come to an end. A pity. Though the other’s choice choice of words brought a nostalgic smile to her face. “And a little dog too?” Hopefully, Minty wasn’t too young for a Scooby-Doo reference. She already felt old enough most days. Still, ancient crone or not, she managed to keep up with Minty pretty well. She laughed. “I have children, darling. I rarely do anything else.”


Trusting her little cerulean knight to keep the nasties at bay, Calpurnia approached the pair with as much stealth as she could manage—truly resembling the cougar she claimed to be. As she drew close to Luka and her companion, she drew out a Pokeball. From it, a tiny Vivillon emerged. Darting through the kelp, it drew close to the pair before tossing a Sleep Powder at the man and the nearest Pokemon.

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"]The flickering of Mordred’s flame reflected in the fossil’s half-blind eyes. Like a cat with a string, Bomi followed its whipping end with a surprising amount of intensity. Instinctual, he wanted nothing more than to quelch it. Fire was dangerous. That’s why they had alarms for it! This nasty thing had hurt him! As the water pulse erupted, the Dracovish opened its jaw to disturbing widths. “VIIIIIISH!” It gurgled.

But, judging by the effect the attack had on the dragon, he’d have been better off attacking Kalameet with a garden hose. At such short range, the beam of energy crashed into the unwieldy beast. “DRAAAA!” He staggered backward, his head jerking back to follow the line of that silly purple light—one of the only things he could still see. Another powerful burst erupted from his mouth.

In doing so, he lifted his throat at just the right angle. The grass blade hit the thinnest point between his skull in the tail. “Vi…..ish…?”A look of surprise appeared as a thin red line opened up across his throat. It exploded in a spray of ichor. The precipitation was punctuated by the heavy thump of his head. Water still flowed from the stump of his neck, turning the blood into a pinkish rain. Its eyes stared up at the ceiling as the dragon-type noticed the pretty lights for the first time. “Drac…vi…”


Perseus, while not overly fond of the newly born thing, moved in to take his place. He pounced down from the rock onto the nearest dragon head. “PURRRRRR!” Another series of powerful, glittery blows rained down on the dark type. While he did not care for the expendables, the feline felt some strange sense of camaraderie with it. That and this has-been had ruined his freshly washed coat.

“Tch.” Calpurnia sneered at the corpse fell. A truly wasted investment. “What a mess.” She wiped the spray from her mask with a sneer. Staring at the ball in her hands, the scientist shrugged. With a flick, she sent it spinning into the aether.

In its reflection, a hundred eyes of pink and red glimmered below. If a few drops of blood brought a mob, what would a viscera fountain do?

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"] She saw the sparks rippling on the monster’s extremities, but Calpurnia quite enjoyed playing a troll. So, when she finally chose to step back, it was a bit too late. A pincher snagged at her ankle, drawing blood. Her teeth gritted together as a current rippled through her body. “Tch!” Her normal elegance vanished as she stumbled backward. Blood dripped on the ground. “What a rude, nasty little creature. Maybe the life of a pack animal is exactly what you deserve.” Her hand dropped to her belt as she hopped backward on her good foot. “Maybe we can give you a field lobotomy.”


Unfortunately, paralysis did not come. But the gouge itself was already beginning to purple. The wound looked nasty. Only the thick band of her heels stopped the bruised bone from snapping. An irritable glare fell to her feline’s face—had he just snickered? When she turned, he wore an expression of faux ignorance. The same look he used whenever a lab Pidgey disappeared.

Calpurnia did not buy his act. “Are you going to just stand there? You ungrateful little—” Her ankle erupted in pain as she moved to take a step forward. “AH!” Perseus, realizing the injury was not a flesh wound, moved to duck under her arm. The woman leaned against him, glaring at the Gliscor. “Can you at least hit it?” Not particularly suited to long-term combat—courtesy of his typical pampered life—the feline sighed. But, as wise men said, happy trainer, happy life.

His eyes flashed sky blue as he lifted one husky paw. He slashed at the air, a bird-shaped blade flying at the Gliscor’s carapace.

Notes

• +10 MP for post
• Calpurnia gets hit by Thunder Fang
• Purrseus attacks Steel Needle with Aerial Ace

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"]The dragon tail—more like a dragon head in this case—did its job. Or, it hit. “...Vish?” The target vanished, leaving the Dracovish with a head full of bells and a bewildered expression. Back in his day, there weren’t any trainers to switch out to. With nothing in front of him, the gangly creature almost toppled over the small form of the Ceruledge. “Draco!” It looked down curiously at the little Ceruledge. Its jaw opened in a smile, reviewing jagged teeth. Water began to swirl in its maw.

Shit. The normally elegant feline thought as the Hydreigon shrunk into something more human. His limbs spread out as he collided with the armored menace. And, while nowhere near as effective, The cat fell into the Ceruledge’s armor with a grunt. But the attack was finished with desperation in hope that it’d stop that it’d stop the likely response. It saw what this ugly bastard did to the Sharpedo.

“Purrsy!” The mask of ease fell as the Ceruledge’s aura shifted. While she really detested the barbarism of Pokemon battles, she knew the basics of the attribute tree. That attack would be decimating if it hit. “Move!” The feline did not need to be told twice. The blade clipped one foot as he jumped—his claws locked into the dragon-type’s jaw. He pushed the head down, using it as a stepping stone. The weight drug the monstrosity’s head right into the attack’s line of fire.

Using that like a platform, the cat sprang to a safe distance.

The dragon-type stumbled, blood pouring from the cuts all over its face. It shook its now blinded eye as it turned to face the Ceruledge. A sense of hurt became visible—though its source remained unclear. Above, Purrseus whispered something full of flattery into the monster’s vicinity, The fossil looked conf the earlier water pulse completing “VISH!” Another Water Pulse rocketed from its malformed mouth.

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"]In her youth, Calpurnia saw Pokemon level her hometown. Or, at least, a good part of it. Family photos fluttered like broken-winged birds amongst the wreckage. The earthquake had split a friend’s house in two. The trainer’s publicly apologized while PR team sent gift baskets. Insurance covered the costs. A year later it’d become a joke. Kelpie never got the punchline.


Luckily, the woman knew how to play the part. Society found this association and reliance on wild animals normal. Calpurnia pretended to feel the same, always wondering just how many people shared her sentiments. She greeted Pokemon with smiles and gave them the occasional poffin. It helped when the Pokemon were cute. Which fortunately, these little darlings were.

“Well, I do hope the little lovelies behave themselves.” Kelpie cautioned playfully. She winked. "There may be a treat in it for them."

Purrseus met the greetings with an indulgent huff. For a moment, the feline’s trademark stoicism disappeared. Something almost smile like crested his face. He even offered a series of slow blinks to the kitten. In feline, this translates to a show of trust. Above him, Kelpie smirked. While typically a bristly creature, Perseus had a small soft spot for children—even the fuzzy ones.


With her new companions tossed into her purse to land amongst gun and old mascara, Kelpie turns to watch Elise at work. The flicker of the Mythic Fire is difficult to ignore—its multicolored glow entrancing Kelpie for a moment. Suddenly, a sound erupts to her size—resembling something between a motorbike and a rampaging rock-type. Grisly smoke bursts through the woods.


Ahead of it, chittering like a mad monkey, a little gremlin rushes through the undergrowth. As it nears her boot, Calpurnia slides her foot back. Her face fills with disgust. This distaste only grew when a Revavroom burst out of the brush behind it. Apparently these two were playing quite the deadly game of tag. “What brutish, nasty creatures.” She shook her head. “Imagine running around with your tongue out like that.”

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"] The cat narrowed his eyes as Josh pulled his hand away. Even if the contact were never made, the insult would remain. How dare you touch me with those dirty hands? I have no idea where those have been. Government agent or not, he was an uncultured rube.


A pair of manicured hands descended to rest upon his broad skull. “Oh, he does love it. Purrsy-Wurrsy just isn’t good with strangers.” A gently scratch to the base of the feline’s ear seemed to calm him. Or, at least, that is what Calpurnia saw. Josh just saw the back of his eyelids. Calpurnia and her feline friend shared a look of amusement—the former managing to feign shock. “Oh dear! He must be exhausted!” She cooed, malice sneaking through the faux concern.


“Should get him a blanket?” Kelpe suggested with every ounce of maternal instinct she could force. The cat lifted a paw to his mouth. The grooming managed to hide his snicker. Certainly Kelpie could get the dear a blanket, but it’d likely be from a home that was bed bug positive. Then again, the barb to the side was much more direct and effective.


As the scorpion tail lifted offensively, Calpurnia sprang back. Quite an admirable feat considering her choice of foot wear. Just out of reach she followed the man and his Pokemon. “What happened, Joshie?” The woman chuckled. “Cat got your tongue?” Though he rolled his eyes, Perseus was purring. Notably, he stayed two steps behind his trainer. He had zero intentions of being shishkabobed by that ugly purple bat.


Notes

• +10 MP for post
• + 10 MP for Poison Barb

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"]The talk of gibberish drew a smile to the elder’s full lips. “I suppose a romantic letter will not do either?” The idea of a bird being captured and confessing a star-crossed love to it seemed so romantic. It might even spark a bit of infighting as people pondered which of them loved the enemy. “Then again, that is gibberish to the wrong person.” Her third child, for instance, found the idea of romance and sex disgusting.


At the reminder of their failures, Calpurnia chuckled. Her upper body pivoted slightly, locking onto the mess of notes on her table. While the scientists on the other side wouldn’t be silly enough to make a bomb, they could be set to chase their tails. Turning to her own work station, Calpurnia smiled. “Perhaps we can unite one of my attempts with one of yours?” It’d have to give them some tantalizing results—just enough to wet their whistles. “Maybe forge some promising testing data as well.” It’d make the enemy think they were farther ahead of the curve than initially thought. It might prompt them to rush.


Instead of dissatisfaction, Calpunia’s face shined with smug satisfaction. “Perhaps a pronged approach is best. Keep them guessing at the delivery method.” Ivanka could be trusted to accomplish the job. The ability to change her appearance would create the illusion of multiple deliveries. With the plan pretty solidified in her hands, Kelpie clapped. With a smile, she hopped off the desk.


“Let’s get to work, love.” A pen was pulled from her pocket. A pair of dark purple glasses placed back on her nose.


NOTES

• +10 MP for post

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"]The Scizor jumps up like an annoying baseball fan in search of a fowl ball. Rendered almost harmless, Ivanka is bounced back to her trainer’s belt. A huff pushes past Kelpie’s lips, twisting them into something venomous. Dark purple eyes drop irritably to the Pokeball holding one of her favorite Pokemon. “Useless.” For a moment, she rolled the ball between her fingerprints—a dark part of er tempted to leave it adrift in the Ultra Deep Sea.

With a sigh, however, she returns it to her designer belt. Ivanka really was a doll. But she did not do her best work on the battlefield. Her usual role involved reconnaissance and bait. And, of course, the Zoroark could substitute briefly for her trainer at the office on occasion. This came in particularly handy on extended lunch dates. “Rest up, love.” Calpurnia murmured, gently patting the ball.

Once that little reunion ended, the scientist returned to the battle below. “Aww! What a dirty play!” Calpurnia shouted at Thomas bringing his mysterious ore into the mix. Such a nasty and volatile little compound. It was as explosive as a child’s temper. The whirlpool was rendered useless as the water attacks washed over the dynamic duo below. For his part, Abomination had the wherewithal to look disappointed.

The Sharpedo lobbed a few half-hearted attacks at the barrier, seemingly growing frustrated. Gnashing teeth again turned on one another as their neon eyes glowed with a ghastly light. Then, before they could regroup, the Hydreigon took the field. It’s stature and size made the sharks back up. When it stretched to its full height, the bullies of the sea scattered like dandelion seeds.

Not wanting to give the creature a chance to move, she turned to her two Pokemon. A glare was given to the fossil Pokemon, its clumsy body rushing forward in an attack, a strange purple tail growing from it as it tried to knock it into one of the Hydreigon’s jaws. With a sigh, the feline above righted himself.

Apparently, there were times when he had to get work done. He swam towards the Hydreigon, getting the head that offendd him most in his sights. Then, with surprising speed, he rushed forward in a Play Rough attack.

Above, Calpurnia was playing with something in her pocket. Perhaps two could play that ore trick?

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[attr="class","samjermain"]Ahhh, I get it now. Calpurnia smiled softly, a bit more empathetic. The little chickadee was not on a high horse, she was frightened of making a mistake. As someone who likely came from a 4.0 GPA, the feeling cropped up often in the labs. Scholastic life often graded on a black-and-white scale. The true value of failures rarely got explored in depth. So, a lot of her compatriots—especially the little fledging eggheads—would hesitate on important decisions. They would try to create iteration 3.2 of a product before letting anyone reveal the base code.



“Come now.” The older woman cooed. “I do not intend to spread it around like a high school pregnancy rumor.” Calpurnia tittered at Shizure. The very idea was silly “I just want to get it to the sector that needs it.” And, if it worked as intended, the other side would not know what hit them. Or, more accurately, what they’d sucked in. The concern about falling outposts received a prim little sigh in return. “It is rather chaotic out there. An, well, pass codes and code names only do so much.” An unfortunate reality when the other side happened to be just as prepared to use torture.



When Shizue joined the solution crew, Calpurnia grinned, releasing a little golf clap. Mostly because the constant needling without actin had started to chafe like a cheap pair of panties. “Ah~<3! That’s perfect.” The scientist smiled viciously. “We can up the difficulty by sending a number of decoys. Only the real ciper will head to the target zone.” Losing a Pokemon—as long as it was not Titania or Purrsy—did not bother her in the slightest. “Do you have any Pokemon that could help with that?” Her hands trailed across her waist. “I have a Vivillon and a lab reject.”


NOTES

• +10 MP for post

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"]As the Zoroark fought to get to her feet, its master looked quite displeased. The typical maternal air was replaced with a cold, dissecting stare. Violet eyes were icier than Nevermelt ice. “Ivanka.” Calpurnia’s voice cut through the cacophony below. “Get up.” Swaying like a drunk, the Zoroark rose to its feet. The area around its ribs, which took the brunt of the blow, had turned a sickly purple. As the two Pokemon dispatched the wall of sharks, the kitsune prepared an attack.


Her vision swam as she caught movement on the trainer’s behalf. He had two hands. Four hands. His outline wavered behind a pink screen as blood dripped into her eyes. Focus. Angering Calpurnia rarely went well, not even for Pokemon er master liked. A green glow enveloped the fox’s feral form. With a yip, she zipped toward Thomas with the sound of a thousand dragonfly wings. Whether the U-turn hit or not, it’d send the beleaguered fox back to the confines of its Pokeball. Manicured nails tightened briefly around the orb before swapping it for another.



With her attempts to disguise her intentions thwarted, Calpurnia moved to even things up again. Quickly calculating what Pokemon stood the best chance—and which she cared about the least—she lobbed out a Great Ball. From it, a Dracovish emerged. Its mismatched body swam awkwardly through the air as it peered at the fishy maelstrom. It's eyes opened as it summoned up a Whirlpool around the Ceruledge, hoping to separate it from its companion.


The Sharpedo, meanwhile, stood little choice against the furious assault. More of them fled, the one caught in the Scizor’s pincher went limp with an almost pitiful stare. Scared to get in range, the three remaining sharks used various long-range attacks. One sent out a Hydro Pump and the other two unleashed a pulsating wave of whistling water.

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"] In truth, Calpurnia adored[ the rifts. The journeys through these alien lands—often surrounded by cannon fodder—were far more interesting than her honeymoon to Alola. Every step represented a shift in the scientific paradigm. The strange, wrong life forms tickled her sense of curiosity. To be fair, however, touring a menagerie was much simpler when you weren’t the one handing out dinner.


“I see.” She murmured softly to herself. The talk of duty made her wrinkle her nose. While she understood such things, the idea of doing them for some vague, nebulous entity was strange. Why go through all the trouble of becoming a gym leader if a bureaucrat could just ship you off to power? Especially when so many gym leaders chose not to? “All that responsibility on one so young. What a burden.” She feigned a weight on her shoulders.


Perseus detested being touched. Only his mistress could demean him with strokes and cuddling. Even her children received such gifts sporadically. With the exception of the eldest, the kittens learned to leave the beast well enough alone. When Josh reached for him, a glare from Calpurnia kept him in line. “Mreow.” He even feigned a purr. But, as Josh turned, his eyes briefly flickered a brighter blue. The Hypnosis was subtle and easy to miss.

Calpurnia, seeing her friend’s little mischief, made no move to stop him. If Purrseus wanted to be a petty, persnickety kitty, that was his decision. Though she would admit it was amusing. “Steel needle?” She hummed. “I think that fits even less.” Then again, Purrseus, with his husky frame, did not match the description of an ancient mythological hero. But most people picked up on the beautiful pun. “Those are pinchers, after all.”


Certainly not something she wanted snapping on her. As she approached him, palming a poison barb, a nearby battle provided the perfect distraction. The ground rippled beneath them as a fissure spread down a nearby tunnel. Crystals fell from above, shattering on the ground below. With a girlish shout, Calpurnia fell into Josh. As she rose, staring around wildly, she tried to draw the thinnest scrape across his skin.


Even the stoic cat looked like his paw had gotten stuck in an electrical socket.

Notes

• +10 MP for post
• Purrseus uses Hypnosis (on Josh or Steel Needle)
• Calpurnia attempts to graze Josh with the Poison Bar

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"] Well, this little stall tactic seemed to be working fabulously. The fellow seemed to enjoy hearing himself grandstand. Even if she did not end up fighting him, a few minutes might be enough to put a wrench in someone’s plans.

At the talk of the rift, she feigned shock. A fake shudder passed through her form as she turned in the indicated direction. “Is it? And you want to go inside? What a courageous (stupid) thing to do! Wouldn’t walkie-talkies be easier?” A bit of digging in hopes of learning why the silly gym leader wanted so badly to make the rift. The woman smoothed out her outfit as she seemed to ponder his scolding. “It is hard to hear those bores, you know? This place is loud.” She gestured to her Purugly. “Poor Purrsy can barely stand it! He’s a nervous wreck!”

Blink. Blink. “Meow.” The normal type looked more bored than perturbed. Then again, he did have the face of someone who regularly made out with a skillet. As Josh continued, his tails sped up their irritable spiral. Much like his trainer, he found do-gooders grating on the nerves. They so often were just hypocrites who gave two shits about the real consequences of their actions. They loved punching muggers in the face but never supported the things which actually fixed.

“Iron Needle?” She queried as she stared up at the Gliscor. The chitin core did not seem to be anything special. “What part of him is iron?” Ugh, that thing was hideous. It looked like something a fellow mad scientist would create—-without the genetic engineering.

“Well.” With a slight curtsy, Calpurnia scooted a few yards to the left. This gave him just enough room to get by. It would be a tight fit. Proof that Kelpie knew the importance of obeying the letter of the law. “I won’t stand in your way.” Just close enough to it to make you uncomfortable. She sniffed, feigning crocodile tears. “Even if it’s dangerous.” Just like the poison barb clutched in her hand.


Notes

• +10 MP for post

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

[attr="class","samjermain"]Scared off by the sparks, a few of the Sharpedo slid backward in the water. Red eyes shared glances as the other group finally stopped tearing chunks out of one another. One of them decided to head for easier prey, aiming for the cat instead. But an Aerial Ace to the snout changed that. Like a lot of bullies, the dark types waited for someone else to chance the attack. Teeth gnashed angrily as they did so.

What a bunch of dang sissies. One of the horde thought to herself. With her teeth wrapped around the dark cat’s tail, Calpurnia’s ‘Sharpedo’ had no choice but to take the hit. Instead of letting go, the stubborn creature just locked down harder. Ice spread from its clutched teeth. But—like a magician’s rabbit—the feline disappeared. The odd fish out clapped its teeth together on the empty air. The strength of the bite left her ears ringing. With a hiss, the creature's form rippled.

Its gunmetal grey skin shifted white, angry red scars blooming across it like blood on cotton. In its place, a Hisuian Zoroark--Ivanka--stood.

Calpurnia wanted to warn her friend below but thought better of it. The beefcake would be a lot easier to manage if this particular illusion stayed in place. She just needed to trust Ivanka could handle herself out there. Which was difficult, considering Kelpie’s general beliefs about Pokemon. But, in the end, the trust seemed well placed.

When the Scizor emerged, Calpurnia wrinkled her nose. What a nasty, brutish little bug!

The Brutal Swing slammed into the Zoroark. It grunted, swirling through the air like a swimmer in a whirlpool.  Fortunately, a few Sharpedo took the opportunity to steal the opened spot, circling the Scizor. Her fur smoking, the creature rose shakily to its feet. A dark, malevolent aura covered her as she hissed. With a grunt, drained by the Curse, Ivanka dropped into a crouch. But her ghoulish yellow eyes still bore straight ahead. The same aura, looking like a spectral nail, flew toward the Scizor, intent on surrounding it with the malevolence.

Though not super effective on the rest of the hoard, the Brutal Swing managed to rattle a few of them. One went so far as to retreat, the prey is not easy enough for it. The rest just blinked the shock away, diving back for the Scizor with another set of Crunches.

From his place above the fray, Perseus offered up a bit of praise for the Scizor below. This self-esteem boost came with a pretty nasty side-effect though.

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]