Ina, Yu, Yuyu, Yui
She/Her
Twenty-Five
February 21
Petalburg City (?)
Pan
Historian/Anomaly Ecologist
Lorekeeper
To truly know one's self, look back on the marks you've made in history
TAG WITH @yuinahigashi
Yuina Higashi
Girl's Night In [M]
POSTED ON Jan 30, 2024 1:24:19 GMT
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There was little that Yuina could do in that moment except let the quietness of the moment overtake her, her thoughts swirling and culminating into the very thing that caused her so much strife, every day... This life that she was living now, this life that she had built as Yuina Higashi... It was such a wonderful life, with all of the friends she had made, the things that she was doing... But... Was it her life to live at all? Was she supposed to be here? And what was going to happen if she wasn't supposed to be here, if all of this was some kind of cosmic mistake that would inevitably be corrected?[break][break] That thought hung around her, surely it had to be true? Yuina Higashi was a lie, all of her was a lie and this wasn't her true life. Could she really expect to be able to continue in this life as this person without any recourse from who she truly was in the world? It could happen in so many ways, including forgetting this life now, as she forgot her life then, and just the thought... The thought of having this life torn, ripped away from her, but not knowing or remembering what she left behind... Should she feel that way about her past life? It was all so jumbled...[break][break] Of all of the things that she was certain of, she was certain, for one reason or another, that her past life could not exist with this new life, and vice versa. She couldn't explain it, she didn't know why the feeling was so visceral when she truly did not know who she was before, but something inside of her just couldn't fight off the notion... That if the two ever collided, if her two lives somehow converged, she couldn't have both... What would she lose from her past life? Would one life be worth more to her than the other? She felt like Desiree was worth everything to her...[break][break] Her angel spoke, of how cruel whatever force in the universe was for depriving Yuina of the choices that she could make in life, the ability to learn from who she was and grow more into who she is... And Yuina knew it to be true. Desiree herself was a shining, glittering example of what someone could draw from their past and how they could blossom into the most beautiful soul... Could she have the same grace? The same chance...?[break] "You're the most beautiful example of that Desiree, your growth, your strength, in spite of it all...," Yuina spoke softly. Desiree was proof, living proof, that someone could move far beyond what their past may have intended for them...[break][break] The more Desiree spoke of how cruel the universe had been to Yuina, tears began to sting at her eyes... She knew Desi meant every word, down to the letter, that she would fight against the hand the universe had dealt her... But did she deserve it? She couldn't possibly feel deserving of the insurmountable show of love that Desiree was giving her, reaching across the table and grasping her hand. Yuina held hers gently, almost tentatively, as though she were afraid to grip too tight... Someone like Desiree had to be too good to be true... Right? What had she done, that she was deserving of such love...[break][break] Yuina was finding it hard to speak, how could she possibly find words to return Desiree bearing her soul and how much she cared for Yuina in that moment... And then... And then Desiree spoke her most true feelings...[break][break] '...if there's a way, please don't do it...'[break][break] Yuina's breath caught, tears stinging at her eyes... Did anyone care about her this much in her life before? It... seemed impossible....[break][break] "Desi... I....," Yuina was stunned, tears dripping down from her eyes, and she did grip Desiree's hand tighter, she couldn't let go now, this felt so real... The universe wouldn't take this away from her...? Right?[break][break] "If... If there was one person I would be afraid to lose the most... it's you... You've made this life feel like its real, like... I'm supposed to be here... no matter what kind of lies I've had to hide in...," Yuina spoke, she couldn't bear the thought of losing Desiree, she couldn't bear the thought of the kind of pain it would cause them both, to be apart, to be separated...[break][break] "You're the one thing that does make me feel like I was supposed to be here... Even if I had to lose my life before... That who I am now... was who I was always meant to be...," Yuina struggled through soft tears, but she got her words out... The same words that Desiree spoke to her on that island, the same words that she held onto since then... She doubted herself many times, and had a lot of reasons to worry about what the future held but... Those words that Desiree gave her, that hope... those few words had been more valuable to Yuina than Desiree could have ever imagined.
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