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“Just focus on me,” they murmur for only him to hear. They sense the world shifting and changing. Warping to the tide of Jayden’s emotions out of the corner of their eye.[break][break]

But they only watch him.[break][break]

They repeat it— “I’m with you.”[break][break]

Light refracts off of strange surfaces, granting them light. Peace for a singular moment as they’re returned to the place they’re meant to be. Not that the deep sea is very desirable, but even so. They don’t care.[break][break]

He is safe and alive, no matter what Alexei had said.[break][break]

And he—[break][break]

I love you[break][break]

They let out a shaky breath as their worry fades for a moment, a smile curling at the corners of their mouth. The dread that they would not be returned fades like the receding mist of the interdream zone.[break][break]

Heat slips in under their skin and that smile widens as it sinks in. “Mischa. A mhuirnín. I love you too.”

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There was no making her budge. It seemed that she was even more resilient to their pestering than even Marza Volchitsa. Granted, they employed different tactics of endearing themself to the other beast. But they supposed that was just the way things planned out sometimes. There wasn’t any use in attempting to push further. At least this time around.[break][break]

“No, I don’t suppose it does.” They relent, but even if she yields no information, it doesn’t mean that Fern does not take away a better impression of her. “If you say so.”[break][break]

Betrayal is a dastardly thing, sure, but in their opinion that’s only one side of the coin. After all, good ties means your back is scratched when in need of it. Regardless, Fern doesn’t push the subject further, and instead lets the rest of their trek to their designated drop point slip into neutral silence as the coast remains clear.

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Fern cannot claim to know the betrayals she has endured. To suffer that same ache and pain. But they won’t sit idly by and allow her to lump them in with the rest. They have lived their life for themself for far too long to be defined by a rank that had fallen into their lap in a stroke of surprise.[break][break]

They flap a hand with a tired sigh at the response. “Ohhh, that’s all well and good. But who takes care of myself better than me?” It had never been in their initial plan to rise into adminship. When they had been recruited, it was about tying themself to something that might keep them afloat if they hit a snag. Now they were just running with it. It would be a lie to say they hadn’t developed certain loyalties, but those were still theirs. Devout to individual people, not the group itself.[break][break]

“We all play a part, you know,” Fern remarks, casting her a sidelong glance as their mouth curls in a coy smile. “And I don’t mean that as do your bit. Literally. If a dutiful admin is the kecleon color required to keep me secure, so be it.” They tap their temple. “But a piece of the hive mind? Not at all.”

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For a moment, they let their forehead rest against his. “I already told you earlier.” They don’t repeat that declaration of love again, but they figure he’ll know what they mean.[break][break]

That they welcome every part of him. Every bad memory along with the good. The dark that blots out the light. “I’m with you.”[break][break]

It feels like a mistake, though, to admit with how his demeanor shifts. Fear rises in his face, hardens his voice. But they can’t retract it now. “He did, but he’s gone.”[break][break]

Fern notices the blur of the scenery, and they lock their gaze onto his intently, hands still pressed to his face.[break][break]

“Michail. Michail. Calm down, it’s alright. It’s over, okay? Don’t panic.”