Huh. You would've never took Navy for an Annihilape. You'd have thought he'd choose something more like the Ceruledge that he'd brought with him today. Though, if you think about it a little more... Yeah, Annihilape makes sense. He likes fighting, after all, and that thing's at least half fighting. What with the other half being ghost, you suppose the math checks out.

"Good pick. Personally, though, I think I'd go with Mimikyu." You muse aloud, stroking your chin as you ponder the question over. Sure, it seems like a weird pick at first, but women go fucking crazy for those miserable little bastards, so it's hardly the worst choice in the world. "Failing that, Rotom? Or Skeledirge, or Drifloon, maybe... I don't know, guess I'm not really picky. As long as it doesn't end up being a Gholdengho, I'll be happy."

Whatever wave of dread settles in Navy just washes over you, probably because you don't think to dig too deeply into it. Still, he moves on pretty quick, and so do you. Next on the topic is Zombie Pokemon, and your reaction to that is maybe a little predictable.

"Sounds fucking sick." You say without a single hint of irony. "Are they catchable? Not saying that I'm interesting, but I'm not not interested, if you..."

You trail off as something wet hits your face. Immediately, you assume it's bird shit, and your face wrinkles, but as you go to wipe it off, it turns out to just be water. Rain? No, that couldn't be right. It was supposed to be clear skies and calm waters all day! Hell, that's half the reason you even agreed to come out. Just your luck, huh? You'd say it couldn't get any worse, but knowing your luck, you'd end up getting attacked by a Wailord or something.

CRASH! The entirety of Sea Mauville shakes, and the water around it begins to roil. No fucking way. Surely, you didn't just will that into existence? You hurry over to the railing, peering down to the sea below, and laying eyes upon the looming shadow upon the water. Your eyes go wide, and then, they narrow.

"Fucking hell, what kind of Wailord is that?"

---

Navy

Hold up... Is that bug rolling around a big ball of gold?

Your eyes practically go wide as you see the little beetle roll about a big shining sphere. Just looking at it makes the Chester C. Coins within your soul go ballistic. Where the hell did he get all that gold? Did he find it, or does he make it? Is he willing to share? Does he give good investment advice? How do they feel about being owned by Shred Zeppelin?

You don't actually ask it any of that, though. You just assume most of the answers. But, hey, when have you ever assumed wrong, except every single day for the past forty years? Refusing to linger on that for even a second, you grab your last Safari Ball and toss it towards the Rellor, with Pokedollar signs in your eyes.

Welcome to team, Roller R. Rubles! ...Actually, on second thought, just Rellor is fine.

---

LAST MON LAST CATCH POG
Catching Rellor!

"Got it."

You follow Grigori's advice, walking along to the back of the gas station, arriving to the section with the lighters, and finding... An empty display tray, with nary a lighter to be seen. You scowl. Of course it couldn't be that easy, could it? Of course the incompetents that ran this heap couldn't keep their shelves stocked up. If they could, maybe they'd be able to pay someone to mop the floors every once in a while! BUT, it's fine. They probably have some lying around in storage. You'll just go ask at the checkout.

So, you double back, past Grigori and his cup of coffee, and to the front counter, where you proceeded to wait a solid two minutes before someone arrived to serve you. And of course, that someone was about eighteen years old, greasier than the bottom of a deep fryer, and reeked of artificial sweetness. Still, you guess that bad service is better than no service. You guess.

"Hey, do you have any lighters in the back?"

"...Whauh? No."

"...You didn't check."

"If you want a lighter, they're at the back."

"They're not there. I looked."

"...You got a problem, man?"

"YES. I want to purchase a lighter, so I can light a cigarette, and there's none on the shelves. So, check the back, and--"

"We got matches. Twenty for two bucks."

"...Fine."

Defeated, you proceed to toss two dollars out from your wallet onto the counter, and in exchange, receive a box of matches that are, generously? From the 1800s at the latest. Still, apparently, they'll get the job done. So, you grab them, and turn to move towards the exit, only to be greeted by an obscene sight.

"What the...?"

-

Honk, shoo... Honk, shoo... Honk, shoo...

While Shred and Grigori were enjoying their exceptionally boring gas station adventures, Salandit remained where he was, snoozing atop the dashboard of the car. Out of all the inhabitants of the van, out of all their trials and tribulations, there was perhaps none more comfortable than he. One could only look upon his sleeping face, and wonder what things that little lizard was dreaming of...

Or, if you were an exceptionally sharp and pointy Kingambit, you could look at him, and proceed to bellow as loud as you could, waking him up from his sweet dreams and bringing him back to the real world.

"H-Huh? What?!"

Purple eyes opened up to see the gigantic blade bearing down upon it, and reacting in the only way it knew how - Panicking and pleading.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The Salandit cried out, a Flamethrower pouring out of its mouth as it let out a scream of true terror. "I DON'T WANNA DIE! PLEASEDONTKILLME PLEASEDONTKILLME PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

This was going well.

---

Grigori Sokolov

"Well, it looked like a spaceship." You answer, the smile falling away from your face. "The whole thing vanished the moment we landed, though. No signs of all that had happened back under the swamp, either. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that the League was covering the whole thing up..."

A pause. You glance over to the sheriff, raising an eyebrow.

"...You guys aren't covering it up, are you? Because if you are--"

You're interrupted by a Shuppet phasing through the floor, rising up to try and Astonish you. He doesn't make that far, though, as Basculegion bursts out of the water, fangs ready to Crunch. That's enough to scare away the measly spectre, who quickly retreats back down beneath deck. Thus, the fish quickly swims through the air and splashes back to the sea, leaving no evidence that anything even happened, save for a smear of ectoplasm that the ghost left behind.

"Seems like it." You shrug, walking over to catch up with Navy. Not that you're afraid of a few ghosts or ghouls, but there's strength in numbers and all that. "Can't really say I'm surprised, though. Shit's been rough over the past few months... Say, if you die and end up coming back as a Ghost type, which one would you want to be?"

---

Navy

The group were quick to take advantage of the downed Iron Bundle, to try and take it down as quickly as possible and put an end to the chaos. They did this, of course, in the most chaotic manner they could possibly think to. There was not a single drop of coordination between the five fighters, and it showed in the absolute lack of cohesion in their move choices.

First off was Tempest Quinn, who... Well, didn't really have much input in his move, given he was still dealing with all the creepy crawlies. Instead, his Vaporeon took the initiative, sending out a Muddy Water to drench the battlefield, her trainer included. Luckily, that would wash away both the sticky syrup and the mass of bugs! Unluckily, it would leave the half-naked man drenched in dirty water, something that was far, far harder for him to wash off. Even more unluckily, it didn't seem to do much to the Iron Bundle. It just laid there as the water washed over it. After all, it was already leaking filth from every orifice, what would a little more do?

Next up was Kazimir Wynter's Togepi, who would triumphantly march up and wave its finger about, calling upon a Metronome, summoning forth the power of DRUM BEATING. A pair of vines would burst out of the ground, and proceed to repeatedly smash down onto the head of the Iron Bundle, as though the Paradox Pokemon were a drum, and the vines were performing the most intense solo of all time. By the time the vines retracted, the mechanical bird was more than a little beaten up, dents and bumps appearing all across its body. However, it still did not so much as move.

Then, ana fell would step up to the plate, striking a flashy pose as her Gardevoir fired off a Thunderbolt. Of course, it needn't be said that electricity and water were a dangerous combination, and Tempest Quinn could tell you that more than anyone. After all, he ended up suffering the consequences of this more than anyone else, as he experienced what the kids called "shocking squall torture". Still, it also ended up hitting the Iron Bundle too, so it wasn't all bad. Even still, the robot didn't so much as move, even from a super-effective lightning attack.

At this point, it became clear that any further attacks were just icing on the cake. Such was the case with Aidan Hereford's Scizor, who deftly avoided getting muddied nor electrocuted, and delivered an Air Slash to the downed machine. They cut deep into the Iron Bundle's exterior, most of all into his aforementioned bundle, which was split wide open by the fierceness of the cutting winds.

Finally, as though to add insult to injury, Eris Halla's Wooper waddles up and delivers a devastating Icy Wind to the Paradox Pokemon, sending it skidding backwards across the ground. Though, perhaps it wasn't the most expertly aimed attack. Amidst the chaos, some of the winds would blow backwards and end up blowing upon ana fell, who had foolishly leapt out of her shelter to strike a silly pose. What an idiot.

Still, when all was said and done, it seemed they were victorious. The Iron Bundle had been defeated. They had won! Now, all that was left to do was--

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP! The Iron Bundle's mechanical sack, wrecked by all the damage, would burst open, and the contents would spill out. Most of it was fairly standard affairs, crumpled presents and sludge-covered baubles and human bones and the like. However, there were also other treasures amidst the loot, like loose Pokedollars, loose TMs and TRs, a few surprisingly fresh-looking berries, odd-coloured shards of colourful crystal, and even a brand new Tera Orb!

Surely, since they had fought so hard to run damage control, they might be entitled to take an early Christmas present for themselves...?

---

The next deadline for this thread is Friday 1st December, 8PM GMT.

Tempest Quinn Kazimir Wynter ana fell Aidan Hereford Eris Halla

Things were getting messy at the front of the train, and only some of that was because of virgil roach's blood. Now that the train's control panel had been broken beyond repair, the chances of stopping this runaway railcar seemed to be getting lower and lower. Now, all of their hopes lay on the manual break lever, the last thing that could put a stop to this madness. And, if they wanted to get to it, that meant getting past the Iron Bundle.

Luckily, one valiant fighter would rise to the occasion and waddle up to the challenge. The schuyler tate's Ditto Bundle would leap up to board the train and in that moment, the two Pokemon across from one another.

Finally, the king and the faker meet.

By all accounts, it is not a fair fight. The Ditto may have the ironclad body, it might know the same moves and techniques, but it is not the same as the Paradox standing across from it. His foe is well-trained in the art of war, forged by experience and honed through many battles. While Ditto mainly adopted this body as one of a thousand, this is all that the Iron Bundle has ever known. The Ditto is not a real thing. He is simply an imitation.

But there is no rule that an imitation cannot surpass the original.

And that just seems to infuriate the Iron Bundle further.

"01000100 01001001 01000101 00101100 00100000 01001101 01001111 01001110 01000111 01010010 01000101 01001100 00100001"

With a harsh mechanical screech, the two birds clash in a Close Combat. And believe me, dear reader, it is close. For every blow that lands, a dozen more are parried. Ditto might lack experience, but the Iron Bundle is struggling to fight through its confusion, and the small wounds it had taken earlier were beginning to catch up to it. Could it be possible...? Could Ditto really overcome this foe...?

THUNK! Alas, that same success would lead robin coello's Gengar to target the wrong Pokemon, and the Ditto would end up catching the decisive Shadow Ball, being blasted in the back. That would prove to be the opening that the real Iron Bundle needed, as it proceeded to push through Ditto's assault and retaliate, hammering its imposter with a dozen fierce flippers to the chassis. All of a sudden, the tables had turned. He couldn't take much more of this punishment. Would this be the end for Ditto Bundle?!

Fortunately not, as luka chêne's Sylveon would come in just in the nick of time, making use of a timely Z-Move: Resplendent Ribbons. All of a sudden, the robot found its flippers bound, unable to so much throw a punch, let alone a Close Combat. And, at the same time, it would give virgil roach the opening he needed to leap forth and pull the brake. Finally, robin coello's Snorlax would use a Blizzard on the train's wheels, causing them to freeze over. Would this finally be enough to put a stop to the runaway train?

Slowly but surely, the train would begin to slow. However, as soon as it approached a turn in the tracks, everything would begin to go wrong. First, the icy wheels would begin to slip. Then, they would break entirely. And, all of a sudden, the train found itself going off the rails and sliding down the road, into the rest of the Christmas Market!

---

The next deadline for this thread is Friday 1st December, 8PM GMT.

trinity beckman has missed one round of the event. If they miss another round, they will be kicked from the raid.

schuyler tate robin coello virgil roach trinity beckman luka chêne

It all converges in the aleyway.

The Iron Bundle doesn't even make it halfway through the alleyway before Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki's Mega Gengar catches up to it, ghostly hands reaching out to grab its shadow and preventing its escape. That gives everyone else plenty of time to get into position, with Jack Napier and John Sullivan blocking its path forward, and Elise Calcifet and Momo Sakai's Rotom blocking the path back. Finally, it seemed that they had managed to corner the fiendish machine! Surely, now was their chance to stop it!

But the spirit of Christmas was indomitable, and it would take more than a few grinches to stop this holly jolly soldier from bringing cheer to the people of Slateport.

Once again, the Paradox Pokemon reached into its sack, scrounging around the deepest depths for just about anything to get out of this situation. And, against all odds, it would find it, pulling out a Cleanse Tag. It proceeded to slap the ofuda onto the Mega Gengar with gusto, and all of a sudden, the poisonous poltergeist would slump backward, drained of its energy by a high-level exorcism technique! That momentary disruption would be more than enough to let the Iron Bundle escape its bonds, free to escape once more!

The Iron Bundle would make a quick exit, hopping over the collapsed body of John Sullivan and away from the ghostly pursuit of Elise Calcifet's Mismagius and Momo Sakai's Rotom. That just left Jack Napier's Gardevoir as the last line of defense. Fortunately, with the psychic prowess of the Embrace Pokemon guarding the path forward, it would certainly be able to stop this hooligan in its tracks.

At least, it would seem that way. However, the Iron Bundle would not relent. It charged straight ahead without care or concern, barrelling straight under the Gardevoir's dress and emerging on the other side, completely unstopped. Perhaps they had made a few too many threats, and taken too few actions? Before they knew it, the Paradox Pokemon was free once more!

And, on the other side of the alleyway, they would be able to see its destination - A sleepy post office, away from the hustle and bustle of the Christmas Market. LED eyes shone wider than before, and the Paradox Pokemon doubled its pace, rushing for the building. No way... Was it planning to restock?!

---

The next deadline for this thread is Friday 1st December, 8PM GMT

Momo Sakai Jack Napier John Sullivan Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki Elise Calcifet

"Yeah, sure." You reply, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from your pocket, and plucking one out. Then, you proceed to delve back into your pockets once more, looking for a lighter. "Let's take ten, and I'll drive the rest of the way after the break."

You end up searching for quite a while. First you search the pockets of your jacket, inside and out, and find nothing. Then, you reach into the inside pockets of your pants, both front and back, and still find nothing. You even end up opening up the glovebox and shuffling through it, and even then, nothing. You consider asking Grigori, but that idea doesn't make it for. You don't even think you've seen Grigori so much as acknowledge the concept of cigarettes, let alone smoke.

"...Scratch that, we're taking fifteen."

Grumbling beneath your breath, you open the door and get out, closing it behind you. At the very least, you remembered to bring your wallet with you, and lucky for you, money can be exchanged for goods and services. So, you walk towards the gas station itself, unlit cigarette in hand as you step through the sliding doors.

Your mission to purchase a lighter has begun.

---

Grigori Sokolov

The following is a video, the first and only one posted on a Youtube channel called “The Shredzone”. Shortly afterward, it picked up in popularity, beginning to circle on other platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Tiktok. It is currently sitting at seven hundred thousand views, and is a niche hit among the people of Hoenn.

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE BLOODMOON BEAST (NOT CLICKBAIT?!)

---

[The video opens with footage of the outskirts of Route 119. The blood moon hangs high in the sky as the trees below sway back and forth. Ominous royalty free music plays in the background as a strange yet compelling voice begins to narrate.]

The Bloodmoon Beast. This is the name that has terrified Hoenn ever since it claimed its first victim. Who is he? Where did he come from? Why is he killing people? There are many theories about the origins of this monster, as people try to piece together the mystery of this mysterious cryptid.

All of these theories are WRONG. Only I know the truth, because I ventured into the lair of the Bloodmoon Beast, and I caught it. Yes, that’s right. I now own the Bloodmoon Beast. However, what I saw on my mission shocked me to my very core. And I am going to share everything with you. I will show you what others won’t. Today, I am going to do what nobody else is brave enough to do, and reveal the truth of the Bloodmoon Incident to the world…

[The footage fades to black. When it comes back, it cycles through photos taken throughout Route 119, but none even come close to the swamp itself. Police tape and numbered markers can be seen throughout. It is clear this is still an active crime scene, though whether or not the photography was actually allowed to be there is unknown.]

When I first arrived at Route 119, I could tell something was wrong. The atmosphere was dark and oppressive, and I felt as though I was being watched. Undeterred, I continued on. As I explored the scene, I found many clues which began to paint a picture of what was really going on. Within five minutes, I picked up on the beast’s trail, and began to follow it deeper into the swamp.

This is when I caught my first glimpse of the Bloodmoon Beast. And as soon as it saw me, it fled the scene. It ran through the swamp water, trying to get away from me. Immediately, I gave chase. My mind was racing. Why had the monster not tried to attack me? Things weren’t adding up, and I quickly began to fit all the puzzle pieces together in my mind.

When I finally caught the creature, it dove underwater, but I was determined not to let it get away. So, I continued my chase, following it as it swam down into an underwater cave. However, when I entered inside, I discovered the terrifying truth of the Bloodmoon Incident…

---

[Two unskippable fifteen second ads play. Then, the video slide cuts into a cave. It is not the cave from route 119. It does, however, have plenty of Tera Crystals.]

---

When I arrived in the underwater cave, I encountered a horde of dozens of aliens, accompanied by a swarm Nihilego. Not only that, but I also encountered many prisoners that the alien had taken, who had been subjected to strange poisons. This is when I understood what was going on - The Bloodmoon Beast was not the real killer, the aliens were.

You may find this hard to believe. It is easy to be sceptical about the existence of aliens, let alone their presence in Hoenn. You might not believe my words, but I have more than just words: I have proof. Real, actual proof. And for the first time ever, I am proud to debut exclusive footage of what really happened:

[What plays is a highly edited version of the Murder Roulette video recorded during the events of Blood, Mud and Iron. However, to protect the identity of the participants, and to comply with the Youtube rules and guidelines, much of it is censored. But, there are indeed "aliens" visible in crisp and clear 15fps 360p. You can even see a few vanish behind black boxes as high-speed coins make impact with their skulls.]

Now that you know the truth about what happened. But, I am sure you still have one question that hasn’t been answered yet: What IS the Bloodmoon Beast?

[The video fades into a scene of Doug, the Bloodmoon Beast standing in a cramped and messy apartment. It does not look very intimidating. Instead, he just looks like he wants to eat a salmon.]

In this footage, you can see exclusive details about the true nature of the creature. It is a bear, but that’s not all. If you look closely, you can see that it is, in fact, the same type of Pokemon as Ursaluna. At first, it was believed to be a unique evolution, tentatively called Ursabloodmoon. However, upon further research, it has instead been classified as a new form, which has been called Blood Moon Ursaluna.

But what separates Blood Moon Ursaluna from the Ursaluna we all know and love? To understand more, I reached out to a scientist with a unique understanding of the creature, and asked him to explain more…

---

[Two unskippable fifteen seconds ads play. After they end, it comes back to a shoddily edited explanation. If one listens hard enough, they can just about make out the voice of a certain archaeologist.]

---

“This subspecies of Ursaluna, also known as the Bloodmoon Ursaluna, is capable of protecting itself with an ironlike mud. Furthermore, it hunts in the dark, hiding in swamps and forests while seeing through its strange left eye. Additionally, its skeletal structure is geared towards swimming, allowing it to cross the sea. Additionally, it can learn several unique moves, and gather power from the 'Blood Moon'.

Hey Shr--”

But can these words really be trusted? Is this really the true nature of the Bloodmoon Beast? Who could possibly say? The motivation of this creature are a mystery to be solved another day...

[The video cuts to an endcard, heralded by slightly-too-loud slurpcore. Perhaps predictably, the audio mixing is atrocious.]

So, there you have it. This is the truth of the Bloodmoon Beast, or should I say, Bloodmoon Ursaluna. If you enjoyed this video, please be sure to like, comment, and subscribe. Until next time, thank you for watching.

[The slurpcore continues to play for just slightly too long, before the video abruptly ends mid-beat.]

Several hundred feet away, in the nearest river, there is a Relicanth. It's unbothered. It's moisturized. It's happy. It's in his lane. It's focused. It's flourishing. And, as far as the story of Shred Zeppelin is concerned, it isn't a major player. No, this fish does not factor into your life at all, and it's honestly better off for it.

And so, you carry on, entirely unaware of the existence of this creature, seeking the next Pokemon to add to your collection.

---

LAST SPAWN POG?
1/4 Balls Remaining.

Honestly, you don't know anything about half the shit he's talking about, and AQUA is just the second layer of a deep, deep iceberg. Council this, and egghead beauty queens that? Most of it is going over your head. It occurs to you that the inner politics of the League are something of an enigma. Meanwhile, the "good" cop in front of you is tangled deep in this web of lies and corruption, with nothing to do but wriggle and writhe until the Spidops come to devour him.

Still, you're well used to commiserating about the unjust power held by the rich and wealth. You've got about twenty-five years of experience in that department. So, of course, you know just what to say:

"Well, fuck 'em."

Then, after a beat, the topic of conversation turns to you. How has your life been? Well, your life minus all the crime, anyway. Oh, and he probably doesn't want to hear about any of the boring shit, like dealing with the asbestos in your apartment. That cuts out about ninety-five percent of the past few months, but at the very least, you've still got a single buoy to cling to in this conversation.

"Oh, y'know, the usual." You begin, an obviously sly smile on your face. "Went to a swamp, discovered a new subspecies of Ursaluna, found an alien encampment, fell in love, created art, got beat up, and rode a spaceship. Then again, you probably got some fancy report about all that, right? The weird parasite and the Megalopolans and the Tera Crystals and shit?"

---

Navy

It seemed that Grimmsnarl would live another day.

With a grunt, the killer turned around, and shambled off, deeper into the island. In some senses, this endeavour had been a success. After all, he'd stopped the advance of the League, at least through the most direct route. Yet, as it limped along, beaten and bloodied and with wounded pride, it could not truly claim it as a victory. Still, it could not rightly be called a defeat, either. No, in the grand scheme of things, this was just a bitter pill to be swallowed.

But it would be swallowed, and the demon would come back from it stronger. Thus, it made a hasty retreat, back to the hiding place of its trainer. There, away from the rigamrole of the battlefield, he would rest and recuperate.

Then, one day in the unknown future, he would get even.

---

Thomas Benoit
5 IC Posts = 50MP
Killing Electabuzz = 10MP
Dream Mist = 10MP
Completing an RT Battle = 150MP
Participation = 50MP
Tying = 250MP
Total = 520MP.

A Bitter Blade and a Bullet Punch both struck it at once, and all of a sudden, the Grimmsnarl found itself being forced back. Not only had the interference of the Electabuzz gave Ceruledge the opening it needed, but now a Scizor had joined in on the fight too. It seemed that his opponent had never intended to fight fair in the first place.

The ogre might have applauded the mercilessness of the tactic, had it not been on the receiving end of it.

"GRIMM!" The demon roared out, reeling from the burns and slashes and bruises it had been dealt. Its hairy coat had been reduced to a wreck, unevenly cut and singed at the tips and drenched in blood. Yet despite its wounds, its anger only burned all the brighter. "Snarl...!"

Fortunately, it seemed that fate would conspire against it, as out from the brine and the roil of the sea, a pungent pink fog would begin to roll across the battlefield...

---

Thomas Benoit