He/Him/His
27
October 4th
Celadon City
Gay
Rocket Scientist
Elite
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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Kaname Fujihara
LETTERS TO FATHER WINTER THE 2ND
POSTED ON Dec 1, 2023 4:34:20 GMT
What do you want for Wintertide? The eternal question on the mind of children and adults everywhere across the region, because we all want something… don’t we? For so long I wasn’t allowed to want, only to just be as I was asked to be. A puppet who danced when someone pulled his strings. A Lycanroc that sat when told.
I wanted control then, and though I didn’t know it… I found it in Team Rocket, in Hoenn, in ways I never expected. So I guess I have my foolish childhood love for jayden cross to thank for that.
I was REWARDED for my desires, my talents were finally recognized here. I had what I needed to excel, succeed, and be more than what was thought of me.
Power and glory tasted so sweet.
So for Wintertide, what do I want? I am not asking for redemption or success outright. That’s foolish and being handed it would be MEANINGLESS.
I merely want the chance to prove myself worthy again; one more fight in the Colosseum so to speak. For the chance alone to taste power and greatness once again, I would fight tooth and nail for it. It’s not worth it if I don’t work for it, right?
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What would I change in my past? Is this recent or further back? If we talk about the recent past… I would quash my hubris. I flew too close to the sun, forgetting my wings were made of wax. Those wax wings that the gods saw fit to tear from MY BACK, I would still be humbly wearing them if I hadn’t flown into the sun… I would bury my pride if I could change that one night, because that one little night changed everything for me.
If we talk further back? Perhaps nothing, I think that’s the right answer. I wouldn’t be the me I am if I hadn’t suffered and accepted and grown through what I did as a younger man. But whether that is the truth or a comfortable lie I tell myself is something not even I know. It’s better that way, though. Knowing can kill you.
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The present is the sum of one’s past. To change my present would mean changing the consequences of things that made me or brought me where I am. So I would change everything and nothing…
But in truth, I am a selfish man. I want things like everyone does. Money, power, glory, knowledge… Love…
So I would be lying if I said I would change absolutely nothing in my present. jayden cross or Alba Evovae, I wouldn’t mind making one of them mine. I wouldn’t mind having a penthouse suite. I wouldn’t mind having the privilege that came with being Head Scientist again. Those things aren’t necessarily minor, though.
Though logically, I should change the course I am heading toward. Depression and self-pity aren’t going to aid me in my goals, only ambition will be my friend and help me out of the grave I find myself in.
I guess I would change the direction of my heart. No more wallowing in self-pity or self-loathing. I give myself a true fighting chance.
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My future? I want my future to be filled with discovery and learning, with successes and recognition. I want a future that I am in control of, one that I made with my own hands. A future where people recognize me for the works I have accomplished.
If I were to put it more simply… My ideal future would be one where I am achieving my goals slowly but surely.
PS. I understand the world is an uncertain place and that time is a fickle thing, only Pokemon like Dialga or Celebi truly can understand it (and I've read enough time travel fiction to know about paradoxes)... but that doesn't mean I don't want the things I want, you know?
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