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the voice resonated loudly over the speakers, startling mika as she'd been too lost in thought just now. she quickly regained her nerve, and nodded at sora, who looked raring to go. "it's time. come on, sora." [break][break]

the two of them soon arrived at sector 5, where they saw the other racers already ahead of them. mika was polite and made introductions with ace, eron, and aravan, as well as the pokemon they were using for the race. even as something as simple as introductions had gone by in a blur, the entire racing grounds moving at a breakneck pace when the actual race hadn't even started yet! [break][break]

she kept a calm exterior, though, betraying nothing of the inner turmoil spiraling within. instead, she met eyes with josh, and a small smile graced her features, a sense of familiarity becoming the anchor with which she grounded herself. "hello, josh. i've trained a lot since our last bout together, and today my talonflame and i will do our best to show you the results. i look forward to it!" but there was no denying that sora was more excited about this entire prospect than mika was. not that she disliked racing, no, quite the opposite. she just couldn't believe how much pressure it all was, how discouraging it felt to have so many eyes watching her at once. [break][break]

it wasn't going to be easy. "alright," she said in response to josh's recitation of the rules, "i understand." [break][break]

and just like that, all the racers prepared themselves behind the starting line. mika and sora slotted themselves there, too, the ranger making last-minute adjustments to the riding gear and saddle before mounting it accordingly. she snapped her own visor into place, exhaling deeply as her heart hammered in her chest — the fiery determination in sora's body and heart burning outward for them, both. simmering. [break][break]

she glanced at josh and suzaku, noting the shift in the gym leader's demeanor at once. his focus was absolute, almost calm in the way he settled into the saddle with ease, eyes focused on the track ahead. she knew that racing, above all else, was his passion and that he had more love and experience for the sport in his left pinkie finger than mika did in her entire body. it would take everything she had and then some to even attempt to match him for effort, for courage. [break][break]

sora's body tensed as he felt her wavering confidence from their irregular heartbeat and quiet sighs alone. she clenched her teeth and muttered, "just focus on the race," as though to steer away any attention or focus on herself. what she thought and felt right now didn't matter — it was sora's time to shine, and mika won't let her own shortcomings affect her dear friend's flight. (or at least, she hopes it won't affect it.) her amber eyes instead shifted towards the monitor, waiting for the countdown to appear on its screen. [break][break]

waiting for the beginning of the end. [break][break]

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some part of mika hesitates. there are a hundred different things she can dream of, but to think of this particular one is… [break][break]

does she want to hurt Julie Solette by imagining this next part? or will they skip to the part where they get better — where everything gets better — because mika is too afraid of living through the parts that are worse? [break][break]

… [break][break]

let me do it, mika wills themself in the dream. julie… [break][break]

wind funnels as a barrier around mika. she reaches out, and the rest of the scene bleeds at her fingertips, coming to life. [break][break]

it’s midnight and there’s dried blood on her fingers. [break][break]

she blinks once, twice. the dream she creates is not a nice one, and the scenes of before flash in her mind, body and mind wavering as they remember it all. the medics already took care of everything serious, but… [break][break]

even in this sorry state, she wants to see julie. [break][break]

the door opens, and mika steps inside. there, she draws the attention of her lover, who’s radiant even in her nightwear and a pair of buneary houseslippers. julie peers behind her shoulder for a moment, casual in the way she says, “welcome home! you’re a little later than usual, did everything go okay?” [break][break]

“julie—” [break][break]

“mika?” [break][break]

she stands up from her place at the couch, ami and ruru (the latter who’d always stayed home with her other mama whenever mika went out to do something dangerous) startled at the sudden movement. julie comforts them with a shaky hand, then moves closer to her beloved with worry etched into the brights of her eyes. [break][break]

mika exhales softly, vision slowly blinking into the reality she’s chosen. [break][break]

a reality where she’s covered in evidence of a hard-won fight: dried blood stains (her own, her own, her own — she’ll never let her pokemon or her friends get hurt before she does), ranger uniform torn in places where she’d been caught on terrain, or where she’d fallen from being impacted, and a slight bruise forming on her right cheek. [break][break]

the smell of smoke and ash lingering around them like a ghost. [break][break]

julie runs to her, hands so gentle and so sweet, face falling devoid of emotion. except for fear. “what happened to you?” [break][break]

“...long day at work. there were some dangerous pokemon and—” she flinches— “people.” [break][break]

“oh, mika…” [break][break]

“it’s not that bad, really. i’m mostly fine, and i already saw a doctor and everything, but i just…”[break][break]

“...” [break][break]

i wanted to see your reaction. if you’d see the dangers and if you’d still stay — if being near me for long isn’t too much for you. [break][break]

isn’t that cruel? [break][break]

“well, let’s try not to make this a habit,” julie slowly says, a gentle attempt at humor in a dark time, “sit down and take it easy, okay? i’ll grab the first aid kit. let’s get you cleaned up.” [break][break]

and everything moves in retrograde, colors and light expanding and stretching, flecks of lights eclipsing into each other. julie’s image blurring at the edges. [break][break]

it’d be so easy to go further, to imagine that she’d continue to be silently supportive of mika, or always be ready to face dangerous aftermaths to dangerous consequences, but… [break][break]

would any of it matter if it wasn’t real? [break][break]

mika doesn’t answer themself. they simply sit in silence, watching as the julie of their dreams walks away, and mika — as always — doesn’t stop her, even if she wants to. [break][break]

she lets the feeling wash away, sighing as a new sight fills her vision and a new resolve fills in the empty hollow of her chest. let’s try that one again. [break][break]

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“heh, i didn’t take you for the fighting type.” [break][break]

mika pauses, a handful of poke balls held in the crook of her arms. “i’m really not,” she begins to say, “but i found that it helps to have more pokemon for all sorts of different situations.” [break][break]

Julie Solette laughs. her laughter could make the sun rise and the stars fall — her brightness could make blazing fires look pale. “always prepared, aren’t you?” [break][break]

the ranger sets down her things. she’s heard that saying a few times before, and her answer to that remains the same each time. “not always.” [break][break]

rays of sun enter through the window, blinding rays of light that cast onto the shadows of their body and slowly crawl upward. in this light, a reflection of their entire lives — one family’s vacation in the summer, the other family’s vocation, blue and pink like the early dawn, meeting at the horizon between the sky and the sea. months spent in happy bliss, months turning into years, young and hopeful love carrying them like petals on the breeze, like sunlight across a vast ocean. [break][break]

(and at one section of the crossroad, a world where mika takes off flying, going higher and higher where no one can reach her. not her pokemon, not her parents, not even julie. soaring above the clouds as though she could truly distance herself from whatever happens on the surface beneath.) [break][break]

(but at this section of the crossroad—) [break][break]

julie looks at mika, carves a little space next to her on the couch. the sun washes over them, but all mika feels is the way julie’s hand fits in hers. “...i don’t want to talk about this next part.” [break][break]

in a perfect world, julie would reply “what part?” because she would be oblivious to what happens next; to the wrinkle in the fabric of mika’s reality, the wrinkle in everyone’s fabric, reality, life. [break][break]

instead, even dreams are tainted by the cruel reality — by the history of the region and all it’s done to the people living within it. [break][break]

julie says, “you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. i already know.” [break][break]

mika leans in closer, close enough they can rest their head on julie’s shoulder, eyes closed against her image. “do you?” [break][break]

“i do. team rocket, the wars, the legendary pokemon, all that stuff that sounds way above our pay grade. everything.” [break][break]

“then you know that—” [break][break]

“that you’ll be busy? that you’ll have to leave?” a rueful laugh, this time. mika’s heart twisting in its cage. julie places a hand near mika’s face, fingers curling against her cheek — slender and cool to the touch. “i figured as much. it’s okay. i’ll be right here waiting for you.” [break][break]

“will you?” [break][break]

and in this dream, mika doesn’t hear an answer. [break][break]

(or maybe, it would have been easier on their own heart not to listen.) [break][break]

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steven, hmm? he seemed rather eager to be on his merry way, and while mika would normally not mind cutting the conversation short, there was no denying that fate had other plans. much like how a slowpoke's tail would get chopped off yet the slowpoke continued onward, so did mika when pursuing this trail further, despite steven's hesitation to be near her. [break][break]

she began walking in the same direction, herself, a quiet sigh escaping their lips. "well, steven, it looks like we're heading the same way." everything was a touch awkward now, but there was no helping it. "if you're going after the source of the disappearances, then you should know i can't leave you alone in good conscience." [break][break]

but they wouldn't make this any harder than it needed to be. other than that brief acknowledgement, mika was fine to pay more attention to her own pokemon — komainu brushing up against her legs as they walked. "but you don't seem like a ranger. are you missing one of your pokemon?" [break][break]

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