The Kubfu proceeds to perform about a dozen different moves all at the same time, focusing its energy and detecting and heading ironly and whatnot. Meltan can barely keep up with all poses and stances and feints, his eye desperately trying to follow the movements, only to make himself dizzy in the process. In the end, all he can do is muster a Headbutt in response, but it's too little and too late to win this clash of skulls.

"gweh!!!"

Meltan is sent tumbling back, clutching his nut-shaped noggin. However, he's not going to give up that easily, no. With distance between him and his opponent, he takes this time to prepare with Acid Armor, melting and resculpting and hardening his body to be more resilient.

It's off to a rough start, but this is nowhere close to over. This next round? You have a feeling it'll go your way.

---

Gimmick, TERA; +15 on Even Rolls.
c8ntpZOW
Meltan LOSES. 2/3 HP Remaining.
Ashley Shepard

"No, actually, that doesn't sound like a good plan. That sounds like a very bad plan."

And yet, it seems to be working. Hundreds of trainers are outputting hundreds of attacks, and slowly but surely, the gigantic glacier before you is beginning to melt. But there's plenty of damage left to be done, and judging by how furious that Hoopa seems to be, then this fight is nowhere close to being over with.

"Alright, fine, new plan - you knuckleheads keep the big guy's attention." You declare, pointing a pair of fingers at both Xenon Antheil and Kazimir Wynter. At the same time, you pull a Pokeball from your belt, tossing it up and catching it a few times. "Galarian and I will hit the small guy until he fucks off."

Galarian... Isn't howard slayte from Rustboro? He hasn't even been to Galar before! Seriously, what a nerd...

You don't bother waiting for any kind of confirmation, because you're well aware you're not getting it. You'd have better luck getting your life in order than getting these three to cooperate on anything. So, you toss out your Pokeball and send out your Armarouge, who quickly gathers themselves and stands to attention.

"Sire! What doth thine require of thy humblest knight?"

"Get a bead on that asshole genie."

"Forsooth!"

As Armarouge scans the frigid storm for any sign of the Hoopa in the mist, you take a moment to ponder the strange prophecy being spoken. Two kings, matriarchs, royals? It all sounds like a lot of shit you don't particularly care about. But that thing about chains being shared... Nah. Couldn't be that. Probably just a coincidence, right...?

---

TL;DR - Shred tries in vain to coordinate his allies, sends out his Armarouge, and has her dedicate a post aiming while he reflects on how this prophecy will affect his personal plots.
AwfuvvTn (SPECTRA REROLL)
Shred's Disguise

"Got it."

As you take the paycheck from Howard, you take a moment to admire it. For some, this much money would be life-changing. For others, it'd just be a drop in the bucket. For you? This is enough to do what you need to do, and that's what matters. What you'll do it is another story, but that's another story for another day. For now, you fold up the check as neatly as you can, and proceed to tuck it away in your jacket pocket.

"Those aliens are as good as fucked, bud." You assure the admin, pulling yourself up off the couch. What to do next? Lulu said she would contact you, not the other way around. Besides, you, uh, aren't quite ready to see her again. You suppose its best not to worry too much. It'll happen when it happens. Until then, you might as well just keep on holding down the fort. "Until then, I'll keep in touch.".

With that, you nonchalantly stroll out of his office, giving him one last wave as you close the door behind you. All things considered, that went remarkably well. You have no complaints.

Now, time to go cash this check.

---

howard slayte

Getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout--

FWOOSH! A Hyper Beam tears its way through the blizzard, and comes mere inches away from hitting you head-on. Even then, just the force of it missing is enough to knock you down to the ground. Fuck! Are the League really choosing now of all times to pick fights? Have they really stooped so low that they're willing to ignore Kyurem so they can ambush Team Rocket? Tch, how typical. Well, nothing for it, you suppose. Scrambling back to your feet, you grab a Pokeball from your belt and turn towards the source of the attack, ready to fight back against Howard Slayte.

Oh. Howard Slayte. Huh...

WAIT.

"OI! DICKHEAD!" You scream, your fury so great that it even manages to pierce the howl of the snowstorm. "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AIMING AT, YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT!?"

...Ahem. With that stress vented, you glance around. Not that there's much to see with the reduced visibility, mind, but what little you can see isn't fantastic. From the look of it, your options for grouping up are either Howard, or a very large and very obvious League contingent. Seeing as you aren't eager to commit suicide in League custody via a bullet to the back of the head, it's a fairly easy choice. Well, not like it was even much of a choice to begin with, was it? You take a second to dust off your coat, before jogging over to join Howard.

"Alright, Galarian, the fuck are we doing here? What's the plan?"

---

howard slayte
kIeG|Eqr
TL;DR - Shred almost dies and then gets mad at Howard for it, but ultimately forgives him because they're not scheduled to betray each other for at least another year or two.

"...Oh."

Yeah, actually, none of those "bonuses" you got were actually legitimate, were they? No, you just swiped a Pokeball from the smuggling rings whenever you felt like you deserved a little treat. And boy, did you deserve a lot of little treats! It's a good thing that nobody ever discovered the true extent of your skimming-off-the-top, or else you'd probably still be mopping bathrooms and changing lightbulbs right now.

That aside, your sales pitch is off to a real rough start. In fact, you've basically just run straight into the first hurdle. You're gonna need a change of plans here. Focus less on the personnel, more on the equipment? Yeah, that makes sense. You'll buy drones and shit. That'll definitely get him back on board.

"Okay, you're right, so--" You begin, only to be interrupted by Howard pulling out his checkbook. He was really giving it to you? For real? On Arceus? Just like that? Huh. Well, no point looking this gift horse in the mouth. So, you mentally shrug, discard all your half-finished thoughts about budgeting, and simply nod. "Yeah, a hundred thousand pokedollars, please."

---

howard slayte

Really, this whole tournament is a gigantic exercise in picking your battles. As much as you cherish Meltan, he's not much of a fighter, especially compared to some of the Pokemon you've seen out there. If you had a Pokedollar for every Charizard and Blaziken you've had to dodge since today started... Well, your wallet would be heavier, to say the least.

But this guy, though? He's just got a Kubfu, and while you're no expert in these things, you're pretty sure that a Meltan and a Kubfu are just about equal. In other words, this has got to be the closest thing to a fair fight you'll ever get. So, best not to let it go to waste, yeah?

"Yeah, sure." You reply, a crooked grin spreading across your face as Meltan hops off your shoulder and strides up to take its place on the battlefield. "But I won't go easy on you, so I hope you're ready to lose, bud!"

"hello mr bear (￣▽￣)ノ lets have ourselves a good clean fight!"

---

Ashley Shepard

"...Alright Meltan, forget everything I just told you! We've gotta win this one, alright?"

"okay (งಠ_ಠ)ง time to fight!"

With that, Meltan hops high into the air, striking his most triumphant pose before landing opposite of the Primarina. Shred Zeppelin versus Melody Miro... Sheesh. You couldn't have stumbled on a worse first fight to warm you up, could you? Having to go against an Elite Four member, of all people? Fucking hell. Still, not like you've got no choice. You're just going to have to go all out for this one!

"super attack!" The Hex Nut declares, its body crackling with static electricity. Then, throwing its stubby arms forwards, it proceeds to blast it outward straight towards the Soloist. "(ﾉ>ω<)ﾉ人人人人人人人人 meltan thunder!!!"

---

Meltan uses THUNDER WAVE!
Gimmick, TERA; +15 on Even Rolls.
wEMCqril
Melody Miro

Harbinger, Harbinger, that was... Tempest Quinn? No, the other one... Cillian Quinn! That was it! Well, if an Underboss was out on the field, then that had to be good news, right? They wouldn't have sent an Underboss into this mess if there wasn't something to gain from it. The bad news is, that's the only response you've gotten. What, is everyone else too busy to humour the Rocket Beast with a response? C'mon. Surely, they could find a little time to stop fighting and--

CRACK! Kyurem drives its claws into the icy ground, and miles of cracks spread across the glassy surface. HM. Definitely a bad idea to be this close to the titanic monster, huh? Especially so close to its gigantic feet? Yeah, you need to get the fuck out of here, stat.

"DURAAAAAAAAAAA--"

"Sorry bud! Not this time!"

Before your Shadow Durant can make good on all of its set-up, you return it to its Pokeball, and proceed to sprint through the blizzard and away from the towering menace. Where are you going? You're not quite sure, to be honest, but wherever you end up, it can't be much worse than "within stomping distance", that's for sure.

---

hF3y0273
TL;DR - Shred decides to return Durant to his Pokeball and make a tactical retreat to a safer distance.
Shred's Disguise

"Don't worry about it! Just MOVE!"

You don't linger on the traumatic incident Andrea just went through. Instead, you rush towards the hole in the wall, eager to make your escape. You can't afford to wait here any longer. You need to get the hell out of here, before even more zombies show up and--

"Food... FOOD...!"
"SO HUNGRY... Gotta eat..."
"Succulent, succulent flesh...!"

Fucking hell, there's more of them outside! You spit out a curse under your breath before grabbing a Pokeball from your belt. Well, nothing else for it, you suppose. You're just going to have to push through by any means necessary, and luckily, you've got plenty of means at your disposal, and right now? They're very, VERY necessary.

"Beedrill, Pin Missile!"

"Buzz! Kill! BUZZ! KILL!"

As the hornet unleashes a barrage of drills into the mob of cannibals, you proceed to duck through, trying to make it through to the other side.

---

Andrea Vaneau

"...What the fuck...?"

You look around the endless cosmic ocean with the most sincere confusion you have ever felt in your life. Where even are you right now? One moment you were facing down an attack from Kyogre, and the next... SHIT, did you die?! No, that couldn't be it. You're not exactly likely to get into Heaven, but there's no way a place as pleasant as this could be Hell, either. But then, where the hell are you?

Fortunately, Naomi is here to help answer your questions. Unfortunately, that can only do so much for a man as dense as you.

"The unknown dimension?" You blink. Even she doesn't know what it is? But clearly, she was the one who brought you here, right? Is she one of those wizards, like the one rock guy you fought before? Gah, too many questions! You decide it's better not to think about it. Your brain will hurt less that way. "Yeah, it sure is."

Then, there's a pause. Then, you look around your surroundings for a bit. Then, you have a realisation. Then, you speak up again.

"...Our boat's totally fucked, isn't it?"

---

Naomi Sato

"yippee!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧"

This was a mistake. Why did you sign up to this serious Pokemon battling tournament with your Meltan? Why not Toxtricity, or Slither Wing, or Grimmsnarl, or Golurk, or Great Tusk, or Haxorus, or Lokix, or Chester, or Beedrill, or Xurkitree, or Sandaconda, or LITERALLY ANY OTHER POKEMON? Why oh why did you think that signing up with this little blob that fits comfortably in the palm of your hand was a good idea?

Because he asked nicely. And said please! He said please at least six or seven times, how were you supposed to say no to that? You're just going to have to call this tournament a wash and treat it all as an elaborate training exercise. Who knows? Maybe once all is said and done, you'll actually have the world's strongest Meltan.

"Just don't get your hopes up, alright?" You mumble in reply, trying to temper the expectations of your partner. "We're probably not going to win this. Hell, I don't think we'll come even remotely close. Just keep your head down, do your best, and..."

...Hang on, is that famed pop sensation Melody Miro?

---

Melody Miro

"DURANTRANTRANTRANTRANT!"

As Durant begins to Hone its Claws, you're left to wonder how realistic this is. Not just your ant fighting and beating this dragon, no, but the whole endeavour. Even the largest Pokemon that Rocket can muster is still several magnitudes smaller than Kyurem, and you assume that's much the same for the League, too. And like, as nice as it would be, you're not going to work together, are you? No, odds are, more will die from interfactional conflict than they do from the gigantic behemoth. All in all, the odds are a bit bleak.

You suppose you should at least try to herd this mass of cats into something more coherent. You are a Beast, after all, so if anyone can do it, its... Probably one of the Admins or the Underbosses. Still, you clear your throat a few times before speaking into the radio.

"This is Dread Threatening, calling in, over." You announce, your voice deeper than usual. "Can I request a status update on all personnel, over."

---

Dfwy|654
SPECTRA REROLL:

Durant on 2/3 Chilly.
TL;DR - Durant set-ups Hone Claws (imagine I put a funny Durant vs. Kyurem White calc here) while Shred tries to get any sense of what's going on through the power of TEAM ROCKET RADIO.
Shred's Disguise

VITAL TRACKER

GOOD LUCK, COMPETITOR!

[break]

PARTNER POKEMON:
Meltan - Tera Fighting

VITALS EARNED:
1 VITALS FROM link WITH Melody Miro (LOSS)
1 VITALS FROM link WITH Ashley Shepard (LOSS)
2 VITALS FROM link WITH ollie morales (WIN)
2 VITALS FROM link WITH howard slayte (WIN)
1 VITALS FROM link WITH DESIREE BLOOMS (LOSS)
1 VITALS FROM link WITH Hideo Kino (LOSS)
1 VITALS FROM link WITH Josh Devlin (WIN OR LOSS)
2 VITALS FROM link WITH illeana reyes (WIN)
1 VITALS FROM link WITH CIAN MAHER (LOSS)
### VITALS FROM link WITH Kouji Matsubara (WIN OR LOSS)

TOTAL VITALS:
12

REWARDS OBTAINED:
x1 Ability Capsule
x1 Free Evo
x3 TM/TR
x1 Root of Puggy
x1 Premium Gacha
x1 Tera Shard
x1 Salac Berry
x1 Kasib Berry
x1 Shiny Swap
x1 Mega Stone
x1 Dynamax Candy
x1 Zeraora