J, J.Ro
He/Him
25
November 13
Mavuille
Bisexual
Layabout/Biker
Civilian
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
Round Robin
POSTED ON Apr 29, 2023 7:26:24 GMT
[nospaces] [attr="class","fakebq"] [attr=class","body"] [attr="class","text"] You couldn’t disagree with the first words you had heard, flashes of blood that ran through your mind. You could smell the sea breeze, the sea of tears you had caused, the rivers of blood you had spilt, and in that moment, you knew the truth for what it was; long after she had begun to walk away, you understood… [break][break] No, long before. [break][break] ”No…” You began, a quivering voice, an expression that would have appeared wide eye’d were it not for your sunglasses. You looked at your shaking hands which you slowly clenched tightly, staring at the woman who walked away. You were different to everyone else were you not. [break][break] Did you ever have a chance? Were people made to improve, as you pulled Cyclizar back, as you attached more to his back, you just didn’t understand…You couldn’t understand as you stared at her back. [break][break] She was younger, perhaps even a child. You were the ones who had shown her the words of man, and yet at the same time, the very thing that gnawed at your very core, was the fact you couldn’t feel bad for it, that you could only feel a slight satisfaction at such a fact. [break][break] It took a moment, but you worked up the courage to speak, words that you shouldn’t have spoken into the open, but you did regardless. ”The same? No, not at all. I’m worse, I’ve done many things that would have made them look like saints.” You spoke as you straddled the back of your Cyclizar, the words came out naturally as you rode to catch up. [break][break] ”But that’s why I’m here…To improve myself, to get better, and see if I can walk others down that path…Sorry.” And yet, you couldn’t say anymore than that. The words were spoken, and you hated yourself for even speaking them. Someone else who knew what you were, that was the very thing that bothered you. [break][break] Not that you had fallen, but that one more person knew just who you were, what you were like. You hated yourself, you could feel the rock tightening in your stomach, the feeling of satisfaction at the recent actions of your pokemon. The feeling that others would be disgusted by you only made you feel elated. The mixture of feelings, the goal you sought, and the tears you knew that would be shed, they all added to make you happy. [break][break] Because more than anything, or anyone, the only tears you had ever cared about came from a singular person.
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