GOD
He/Him
41
December 25th
Spikemunth
Northeast
Monster
Rocket Beast
I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.
TAG WITH @shredzeppelin
Shred
BLOOD, MUD & IRON
POSTED ON Oct 28, 2023 21:08:22 GMT
Huh. This tattoo, on the arm, you might've actually seen something like this before. Yeah, it feels familiar, like you might've seen something similar on a documentary, or heard Howard talking about it. Could this be...?
SPLASH! Before you can finish your thought, you're assaulted with filthy water. What the fuck? Why?! You didn't even do anything to deserve it this time! If looks could kill, the glare you shoot towards Aubre McKenna-Settentrione would be akin to a dozen Murder Roulettes all wrapped up into one. And she even extinguished the fire with her little stunt, so you can't dry off! Fucking bitch. You hope she hits her leg off the corner of an alien table. Lord knows she deserves it.
...Anyway, what was it about the tattoo you were thinking about? Hm. Ah, shit, you forgot. Well, if it's worth forgetting, then it probably wasn't worth remembering. You take a quick picture of the arm with your phone, before stashing it away again. Then, it's onward and downward, towards the spaceship. Funny, you figure you should be more excited about a spaceship, y'know? But your repeated trips to the Ultra Plant have really killed the appeal of anything "Ultra" for you. You don't even buy Ultra Balls anymore. Okay, well, you never bought Ultra Balls because you can't afford them, but still.
Alright, so: Good news and bad news and worse still news. The good news is, you're reunited with the group that took the other path, and that means The Boys are Back in Town! The bad news is, those prisoners you "rescued" were actually aliens in disguise, and they're planning to kill and eat you. The worse still news is that your peers are also betraying you, choosing to side with the Megalofuckers. Were they all aliens too? Your eyes narrow on the strange purple tendril sprouting from their flesh. No, if they were, they would've dropped the disguises. So, is the weird growth the problem?
Fuck it, now isn't the time to be thinking about xenobiology! You need to neutralise these new threats before they wreak havoc, and as it so happens, you're an expert in the fine art of friendly fire.
"HOWARD!" You shout, clutching the Chester-Substitute as you look about for your partner. "We need to thin the horde! Rev up Crumble, because it's time for an encore! SIGNATURE KIss...?!"
The words die in your mouth, as does your plan, as does one of your few remaining braincells. Why the fuck is howard slayte locking lips with one of the mutants? Is he stupid? No, surely, even HE isn't that much of a dumbass. He's got to have some kind of plan here... Wait, hang on, Howard was gay this whole time? Is this why he never got any bitches? Why didn't he tell you about this? Does he not trust you? He trusts you enough to do SIGNATURE KILLS with you, but not enough to divulge his love life? Why not? Aren't you friends? Actually, why are you so invested in this? This REALLY isn't the time. There'll be plenty of time to snoop in Howard's closet later! You need to focus up, or else--
--You're tackled to the ground by Lulu Flint, who quickly sets about killing you in cold blood. That's a problem, because despite all of your physical brawn, you can't seem to fight her off. Man, this fucking SUCKS. Did it have to be her, of all people? If it was anyone else, say, hypothetically, Ambrose Hendrix, then you could handle them easily, because as it so happens, you've got a fucking gun in your jacket. You brought your pistol along just in case your encounter with the bear got hairy, and now would be just about the best time to whip it out and put a hole in your attacker, except for the fact that most people find the idea of getting shot to be a red flag. Like, sure, your chances of getting a date out of this are already slim, but does that really mean you need to make them slimmer? Then again, you're not exactly eager to get torn to pieces and eaten by aliens, either. You need a different plan...
...As you're having the life beaten out of you, your eyes drift over to Howard and Aaron again. Howard definitely has a plan, right? Like, he wouldn't do it didn't boost his chances of survival. He's recklessly endangering himself with a clear purpose in mind. Whatever was down the other path, it must've given him all the answers he needed. Does the magenta chain have some kind of weakness to human saliva or something? Would... Would kissing Lulu somehow solve this problem?
Naturally, this sparks a heated shoulder-angel and shoulder-devil debate about whether or not you should commit to this blind leap of faith. Except, you're Shred Zeppelin, so instead of being remotely coherent, it's mostly hallucinatory. The abridged version is thus:
"Ohoho, yes! The brave prince shatters the spell of evil with a kiss, and all live happily ever after. Tis a classic tale, as old as fiction itself. Do it, dashing hero! Overcome the curses of thy foes, and make the audience weep as they witness the beauty of true love!" [break] "Uhm! UHM!! Shred!!! I really don't think that's a good idea!!!! I think it's very very bad!!!!! J-just wait a little longer, okay? I'm sure Grigori will come over and save you, so you just need to hold out!" [break][break] "Just kill her already." [break][break][break][break] "C'mon now! Think bigger, Shredder! You want to know why you can't kill her? It's because she's a valuable asset. You think Howard is smart? He's the Rustboro Pokemart, and she's the whole damn Lilycove Department Store! And, if you spare her? That means she'll owe us a favour...!" [break][break] "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP ME! I CAN'T DIE HERE!!! I HAVE SO MUCH MONEY LEFT TO MAKE!!!!!" [break][break][break] "...Lokix, do a brother a solid and help those pricks out, yeah?" [break][break][break][break] "On it!" [break][break][break][break] With a pair of red flashes, Gholdengho is returned to his Pokeball, and Lokix steps out, but while the Pokemon are different, the gleaming gold remains the same. A hero of justice, here at the darkest hour, ready to save those in need. And, just like any hero of justice, he's got a routine to follow.
"The spinning saw of tomorrow, the cutting edge that slice all evildoers to ribbons! Prepare to fight, for the whirling blade of the future, THE GOLDEN REVOLUTION, is HERE!"
On one hand, all of his flashy showoff posturing isn't very helpful, considering you're in the middle of being actively murdered. On the other... Man, he's so fucking cool. How are you supposed to be mad at him? Your eyes are practically sparkling as you see his ridiculous pose and hear the roar of his saws. Wait, his saws... Alright, change of plans. Kissing Lulu is now your Plan B. For now, you manage to swallow enough blood and muster enough breath to call out your Plan A.
"LOKIX! CUT THE CHAIN!"
The instant the last syllable leaves your mouth, the Lokix is already moving. He's made his first impression to the crowd, and now, it's time to make his First Impression to his enemies. All it takes is a split second before the insect is upon Lulu, aiming its twin saws to cleave off the poisonous limb with a single movement.
"SHINING... RIPPER!"
TL;DR - Shred, after getting ganked by Lulu and deciding to neither Shoot nor Kiss her, recalls Chester and sends out Lokix, who uses First Impression and its biological chainsaw wings to slice off her Toxic Chain. Really, that's all that happens, but this post is too long anyway, because I'm a little creacher who puts way too much filler in his posts heehee hoohoo! KrkFEMzB Roll 1 is base, Roll 2 is using DDD Salac, Roll 3 is RT Shop Salac. ··
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